Onehundred Sixtythree

Hey, you know why days have been missing from my week o'bloggin'? That's cause it's close to Christmas and I've been spending time with friends and also shopping. Not that I hadn't done most of it in one day, but there's also the writing of cards, the drinking of nog and the contemplating of snow...

Okay, so I just haven't made much time for a bloggin', but you know what? It's my website, so meh! All this to say that this is the last blog before the end of no internet. Also I promise that before next year my continued story will finish. And if you haven't been able to keep track of what story I'm talking about, or which parts are the one story... you just have to keep an eye open for "...Continued" at the beginning. Well, if you take the time to look through.

Okay okay. The first part is blog number 156, the second is in blog number 159. And the next is yet to come, only because I haven't taken the time to think up an "ending".

And if you're all like "But Dave, I don't care about this story", then I'm all like "So don't read it and go back instead to some other postings that you haven't read yet". Also, if you're all like "Dave, you know there are error's in this story, right? Did you even proof read?", then I'm all like "No, do I look like I'm still in school to you? Well maybe I look that way cause it wasn't long ago that I was but... the point is that I'm not in school anymore and have gotten out of the habit of proof reading and I'll try to do so from now on." At least I remember to spell check.

What I was going to say for today has been lost to me, which brings me to a point: Being forgetful can be a pain, but it can also be fun because you're always learning the same new things. It's only if you realize that you've done something before but thought it was a new experience when it can get sad. But then you probably don't remember how last time went, so that doesn't matter anyways. I'll probably be in a home when I'm old. Hecks, I should probably be in one now! Who am I? What's the internets? Get off my lawn! I want pea soup!

Onehundred Sixtytwo

If you ever feel nervous on a date, just tell the person they've got something in their teeth. If they have a mirror on them and prove you wrong, well um... squirt ink and run away. It seems to work for the squid.

Today's topic is casting my movie. The cast I'd like to have for my movie would be Zach Braff, Edward Norton, Lucy Liu, Nathan Fillion, Christopher Titus, Ryan Reynolds, Drew Barrymore, Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler, and Greg Kinnear. Not that these stars would be my total cast, but they would be my first picks.

What my movie would be about is that this group of people are trying to prove to the world that they're super heroes. The problem is that the media keeps explaining away any super deed done by this group, that anyone could have pulled it off, and even that these "super heroes" are setting up the crimes to try and make themselves look good and to con the public.

For example, if one of the heroes comes flying in, the media would say it's fancy wire work. Or if a hero is able to stop bullets, the media would say rubber bullets or blanks or something like that.

I don't know if I would go for the whole "but then a really big problem comes along and the world is begging the heroes for their help". I think I'd rather have it that there's absolutely nothing these heroes are able to do that will convince the media and the world that they truly are heroes. With modern technology the way it is today, it's hard being a hero and being taken seriously.

And that's all I have to say about that.

WOTD:

Neurasthenic - (adj) affected with or suggestive of mental disorder characterized esp. by fatiguing easily, lack of motivation, feelings of inadequacy, and psychosomatic symptoms.

Haiku:

Curving and twisting

Green leafy vines crawling wall

Reaching for sunlight.

Onehundred Sixtyone

You know how people like to portray one's conscience as a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? How do you figure it is for either a devil or an angel? For the angel would they have a devil on one side and a human on the other? And then vise versa for the devil? I mean, you can't just have an angel or a devil, there's gotta be another voice. That's just how it works, there're always three options.

You know, I don't quite understand how the third option would work (ignoring both the devil and the angel) because either your own instinct would be good or bad, depending on your world view. Or is it just in cartoons that you ignore both and they're both left to um...well actually I can't recall a time where I saw that happen. I can remember when Daffy Duck's conscience angel and demon both agreed on what to do, mainly because they're both greedy. And there are other characters who had similar agreements, but what about when the person disagrees with both angel and demon? Does anyone recall that?

Maybe it's just that whichever decision you make is either good or evil... yeah but I think I'm going more for a 'there's always another choice' thing here. Also, how do you feel about a live action show using angels and devils? The only show that I can think of that might have done such a thing would have been Scrubs. And the only other thing would be Seinfeld where Jerry's brain was having a chess match against his desire to continue to date a woman. So the point of this question is should the shoulder conscience bit be left to the cartoons or is it alright to bring it into the live action shows?

Okay, WOTD time:

Sunbonnet - (n) a bonnet with a wide brim to shield the face and neck from the sun

I just like to say "bonnet". Lol. Hey also a side note, should it be "Lol" or "LoL" or "LOL"? I'm talking about when it's the beginning of a sentence, or one on its own. I always just make the first 'L' capital.

Haiku:

Lost in the luggage

My love for her departed

Now she wants it back.

Onehundred Sixty

I might be wrong on this, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

This morning as I was heading out to make my milk delivery, I drove past the old mill. I had taken that road because other things were on my mind and I simply hadn't been paying attention to where I was going. I wonder if such a thing is fate. The point of the matter is that as I drove past, I swore I had seen two men standing beside the mill, as if they were inspecting the building. I thought to myself, "Is there really someone interested in that property? Or perhaps they're wanting to start up that old mill again." I couldn't come to a reason as to why they would be wanting to start it up again as the new bakery has been up and running for quite some time now, and with it still running, there's no reason for a mill.

Before I could think upon it any further I had arrived at the market. I thought perhaps I would run by the old mill again to see if the two men were still there. I hadn't seen a truck or any other vehicle, but it could have just been parked off to the side.

My first delivery was of course Mrs. Baydah and as usual she was at the door to greet me. I swear that old lady doesn't get any visitors, lucky for me I have a schedule to keep. I hear the stories she tells can be quite tall. I suppose it would at least be an interesting conversation. I don't suppose that stopping in one day would do any harm, and it would probably bring a smile to that old woman's face.

My next stop was Mr. Butner and his niece. What was her name? Lilac? Daisy? Rose? Well that doesn't matter. What does matter is that Mr. Butner has lived in town the longest and so I had asked him if he's ever heard of someone wanting to buy the property the old mill is on. He said there have been farmers every now and again, stopping in to check out the land, but never had any offer been made. Mr. Butner figured it was because the land was too rocky. I thought it seemed perfectly fine, but I suppose that goes to show how much I know about that sort of thing.

I told Mr. Butner about the two men I saw, and told him we'd have to discuss it further when I finished my deliveries. The rest of my deliveries were done in silence, as no one else in town was up at that hour. Once I finished dropping off the crates and empties, I stopped by Tate's for a coffee and a blueberry muffin. Heather was there today. It was sure good to see her again, even if I couldn't work up the courage to ... well I will someday. Soon. She smiled as I came in.
Right, the old mill. When I drove past it again this morning, there was no sign of the two men. I drove up the road to get a better look, to see if I could find anything that said what they were up to. I noticed tire tracks, looked to be for a car. Maybe if I was a better detective I could say what kind of car, I just knew they weren't truck tracks.

My bet is they're not interested in getting the mill up and running again. In fact, I think they're planning something illegal. If I remember correctly, there was a story about old run-down buildings, out in the countryside, being used to stash away drugs or alcohol, not 3 hours from here. I can't rightly say if those stories are true, but they're not entirely unbelievable. Also there was talk about the mob setting up around this county.

If I'm wrong, it's something we can be glad of. But if I'm right-

Onehundred Fiftynine

...CONTINUED

Lucas Panton himself, with his own crew of course, dug out the first mine. It was mostly a coal and diamond mine but the legend says Panton found a ruby the size of his palm. He was going to take it to the bank in Pnolla but something happened when he went into the forest. Details vary depending on the story you hear, but when Panton reached Pnolla, he didn't have the ruby and had become a recluse.

It was a long time before anyone dared enter the forest again. It was only when a couple of young hunters were tracking down a buck, which lead them to the forest, did man ever enter again. The hunters got their buck and, when questioned, reported nothing out of place or mysterious about the forest. At first it seemed the hunters would continue to use the forest, and for a time they did, but no one ever dared go more than thirty feet in, it was just considered a superstition.

Eventually, as the world turned to civilization and the modern way of life, the legend of the forest became nothing more than a bedtime story. The surrounding villages grew into large towns, farmers took up what land there was good for grain fields or pasture, and people forgot. Not everyone forgot, if only because they wanted a good story for their children, which was exactly the case for my mother. Her mother had told it to her, and she told it to me. Only in this past year did I find out that this story has been passed down, on my mother's side, for generations since the days of none other than Lucas Panton, the legendary man himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Onehundred Fiftyeight

You know what I miss?

Warm summer breezes. The feel of nice healthy grass between my toes. The smell of freshly cut grass. The warmth of the sun as I go for a leisurely bike ride or walk. Enjoying a slurpee outside. Jumping on a trampoline. The smell of flowers. OH! The smell of a BB-Q. Hail to the chef, baby. Being outside, cooking up a steak or chop or other type of fresh meat.

Actually now that I come thing think about it, there are a lot fewer smells outside in the winter than the summer/spring. Huh. Cause you know what a freshly shoveled driveway smells like? The same as an unshoveled driveway. Freshly cut grass however, that's a good and different smell than uncut grass.

I also miss being able to pick fruit right off the tree or bush. Man, picking raspberries or Saskatoon berries or whatever else you might be picking... or going to the park and picking crab apples, those are the good times.

The only distinct smell of winter I can think of, that has to do with outside, is how your clothes smell after a snowball fight, and I wouldn't exactly call that a wonderful memory.

Right well, it's my mother's 50th today, so the-athe-athe-a that's all folks.

Haiku for my mother:

Raising me with care

Your love and support help me

I'll bake you a cake.

Onehundred Fiftyseven

Secrets.

Everyone's got them, no matter how big or small, how many or few, how juicy or dry, or if they are forever remembered or forgotten quickly. There's always going to be something in our lives that we'd rather remain hidden.

For example: the caveman who invented the spear. He was a hunter of course, but I bet that he was too scared to wrestle the saber-toothed tigers like all the others, so he invented a way in which he could keep a safe distance away from the tigers. He said that it was more efficient and productive than going mano-eh-tigro, but really he was hiding the fact that he was afraid.

Also an example for the longest time, and perhaps for them they still convince themselves it's true: the tobaco companies. Since the invention of the cigarette, those who have made them have sold them as a good thing. "The smooth, cool taste of a cigarette is what gets me through my day" or something to that effect. There were big competitions, and continue to be, in which company had the cigarettes that were better than all the rest. Then the idea of cigarettes being unhealthy came along, and cigarette companies have been trying to convince the puplic otherwise. It's not the cigarette that kills, cigarettes are not addictive, we didn't know that...

Perhaps you prefere the secrets kept by the government, or the thought that there are secrets being kept. Area 51 is a popular example, so is brain/mind control, or that the government is secretly watching us all, our every move and conversation being recorded.

To think that every keystroke I make is being recorded somewhere... I suppose that if I were to**SYNTAX ERROR**

Onehundred Fiftysix

Whilst traipsing through the forest I, James H. Farnsworth, came upon a curious little nook. I had been studying a curious little frog when I came upon the nook. Little did I then realise how it would indeed change my life, nay, the very way I viewed the world itself! How could I have? It was an innocent looking nook and at the very most I thought I might find some artifact buried beneath a layer of earth, at the least I thought it was a charming part of the forest. I would never have guessed what lay in store.

It was a sunday, around 10 o'clock in the morning, business as usual for myself, provided the weather was inviting. There wasn't much of a breeze, not that it truly mattered in the forest, which was a little north of the West Estate, and I had come across a lovely path that ran through it, leading towards Pantonburry. It was not so much a short cut as it was a means of escape.

The forest, you see, was not something people traveled through, if one could help it, at least not anymore. At first the forest was an excellent source for wild game, known only to a few. Eventually word got out about the location, but not because of the forest. It just so happened the the hills and country side surrounding the forest was a prime location for coal, diamond, and once in a blue moon: rare gems. This discovery was one by none other than Lucas Panton, the legendary man himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Onehundred Fiftyfive

I was thinking about some of the things I enjoyed in my childhood, and one thing that always makes me laugh is how I enjoyed sneaking up on my sister. Sometimes I would hide around the corner and wait for her. Eventually it got to the point that she'd yell something like "I know you're around the corner" and I would be but she wouldn't know which one so I'd still get to scare her. But sometimes I wouldn't be around the corner when she'd say that and then she'd get to the corner and yell out for me to reveal where I was. Sometimes I'd be in my room doing my own thing, but sometimes I'd be in her room, but I don't remember that it was often. Most times I'd be in my room or some other location in the house.

I can still see the layout of that old house, in my head. I can tell you were every room is, and I could probably talk you through that place step by step. Not that I know if the current owners have changed it at all, but I bet I could tell them exactly how it used to be if they did. I wouldn't even have to go inside the house.

I've always liked to give my sister, and anyone else, a good scare, but I haven't done so recently. Or rather, now it's more scaring them in a different creepy way. But uh... that's another story. Probably.

WOTD:

Vicuna - (n) 1. a South American wild mammal related to the llama and alpaca; also: its wool 2. a soft fabric woven from the wool of the vicuna; also: a sheep's wool imitation of this

Haiku:

Softly tread forest

Watch out for leaves underfoot

Cliche twig snapping.

Onehundred Fiftyfour

I think I'd rather have a Coke than... (not that Coke is a bad thing, by far)

- eating gross corn or baked potato

- go to school

- go to work

- slip on ice

- get hurt

- touch a Pep**

- listen to bad music

- watch A New World

- a bloody nose

- fight a bear

- listen to politics

- get sand in my mouth

- get lost

- kiss a camel

- drop a sandwich

- lose my wallet

But I would never ...insert joke...

I don't know a good line. I was hoping I'd have one by now. If you don't mind, I'm just going to leave you with the WOTD and a haiku.

WOTD:

Pother - (n) a noisy disturbance; also: fuss

Haiku:

Skating under stars

Moonlight shining down upons

Lovers hand in hand.

Onehundred Fiftythree

Here's a funny prank, for those of you looking for one. Also it doesn't involve any illegal activity, so it's safe and fun for the whole family.

First you go to the closest recycling bins. Oh well first maybe you should get a box, a big empty box. Then you go to the bins and you take out some flyrs. Okay, a lot of fliers. If you're lucky you can find the papers that they keep the flyrs in when they deliver them to the door, the point of that being to make it look professional.

Next you bundle up the flyrs as best you can, again going for a professional look.

Wait... I guess the very first step is to map out where you'll go ...but I just was explaining the prank first. But to save on gas you should map it out first, but then you're using gas to map it out... Hmmm.

So first you map out your trip, then you get a box, then you go to the bins, then bundle (string works too but that's a little suspicious, at least because they don't use string to deliver these babies, I just thought if you've got string lying around for nothing, well here's your something to use it up in).

By now you might be thinking: "Dave, I've got it all bundled and ready to go, what the heck do you have me doing here? You trying to start your own flyer delivery service?" No, I'm pulling a prank here, remember?

So what'chya gotta do is go around to all those houses that have "No Flyers" signs, and you deliver them flyers! This way you get to rub it in their faces but you don't get fired because you're not working for your local paper. This prank is more for when you're in the mood to stick it to the Man because, when you deliver these flyers, and it helps if you can do it for a week, is that these "No Flyers" people get upset and phone the paper, and it's such a city wide problem because you've gone throughout the city so it's not just one paper boy's fault. Or maybe the NF people get upset at their neighbors because they think their neighbors did it, but when it's happened city wide for a week, people begin to think what's going on and maybe it makes the news and that's when you tell them it was Crazy Eddy or something, or maybe the name of a known con man, so you-

Well maybe some of the results are varied and whatever, but the point is that um... you get to stick it to the Man? Oh uh... if the Man is reading my blog... I got this idea from my sister. Yeah. That's it, that's what'll fool 'em. Now it's time for icecream and lollipops...

Onehundred Fiftytwo

Instant success.

It's kinda sad about how impatient the human race can be. There are not too many things that have been adopted into our culture which would require patience and time. Everything must be done in an instant or else we try another method. I don't know when it happened, but I know it's been happening through out history. I'm sure many a king has preferred the quick servant rather than the servant who takes up the king's time. If something can be done in the same manner but with a faster pace, it would be preferable to do it quickly.

When there is a journey to be made, don't take the long way when you can take the shortcut, that's why the shortcut was invented. The only real reason to take the long way is if the traveler is trying to delay something. Say the traveler is going to a city to die (for some reason) so they plead, for their last hours on earth, to take the long way instead.

Or perhaps you're making a meal which requires time to cook and prepare. In today's modern age you could easily ...well you could buy it from the store too, but the point is that you could put this meal which takes a long time to cook, in the microwave, but because you want to go out for the day to do some last minute shopping for Hannukkah, you use the slow cooker instead of the microwave. Oh and you can't go to the store and buy the premade meal because they don't have it in kosher.

And you don't want to ...well I don't want to knit myself a sweeter... or a t-shirt, so I go out and buy one. I could take my bike to the mall, but the bus ...okay well let's just say the bus would be faster. If I had a car I'd rather take the car because the car is faster than my bike. Just like if I'm traveling, I'd rather take a car rather than the bus, but I'd rather take the plane rather than my car.

As a society, we don't always see the value in taking time in doing something. If only we had waited... well I suppose the same sentence could be use for speed: "If only we had gotten there sooner..."

Too bad there wasn't some sort of device that could say whether the best course of action would be to take your time or go quickly. I can't quite come up with a situation might be used, but I'm sure it would come in handy sometime.

WOTD:

Aria - (n) an accompanied elaborate vocal solo forming part of a larger work.

Haiku:

Gentle to the touch

Soft like winter's fresh lain snow

Thick like lion's mane.

Onehundred Fiftyone

The warmth of the fire ran up my spine and tickled my brain quite divinely. I stood in front of the fireplace watching it for a few moments, admiring the intricacy in the-

That's when she came in crying, her legs giving way once she saw me. I ran to her to make sure she didn't fall over completely and hit her head, and also to put my arms around her to try and console her. "Chantelle, what's wrong?" I asked, worried. She didn't look hurt physically... "Did one of those girls try something na-"

Chantelle cried out, her eyes still welling up with tears. "I can't take it anymore Kenny, I just give up. Every time I try I fail and I can't think that I'll get any better because once I feel like this is it, I'll be able to do it this time, I just end up doing worse than before! I just can't keep trying, it's too much!"

"Wait," I asked "What? Try what? What is it you can't do? I didn't know there was something you were trying to-"

"The garden!" She whined, "I can't grow a thing in that blessed garden! I tried carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, leeks and peas and beets and all sorts of other vegetables. I even thought that maybe if I tried fruit, maybe it was just the garden's way of saying it didn't like vegetables. I mean, who would have thought a garden wouldn't like vegetables?! Crazy right? But I had to try something Kenny, if it wouldn't grow vegetables for me, I was determined it would at least grow some fruit for me. I planted strawberries, raspberries, rhubarb, blueberries, black berries, goose berries, and plumbs, but would you believe that not one of those grew?! Not one! And it's just too much for me now, I can't handle this much failure, I just can't endure it any longer, I won't!"

At that point she burst into tears and I noticed how wet my shirt was getting. I was relieved it wasn't too bad of a problem... at least she wasn't being emotionally abused, that there wasn't a bully picking on her at school. I smiled, which turned into a grin and then I burst out laughing, more at my own relief than her situation but you can only guess how she took it. I'll anyone that saw an atomic bomb blow up that that explosion was nothing. The only thought that came to mind was run, so without even grabbing my shoes I burst out the front door-

And that's when I met: Tyler Durden.

Onehundred Fifty

Woah man, is this really #150? I always thought that was some sort of mythical legend or legendary myth! Never thought it would come to ol' Multipurpose Exposition. So what shall I do for this onehundred fiftieth bloggin'? I don't know, I'm not really prepared, I just didn't see this coming.

Write up part of some kind of crazy story? A poem from '1ooo Years of Irish Poetry'? Lotsa haiku(s)? [I should really see what the plurral for that is] Oh man, like 150 haiku(s)? Or 150 lines of poetry/story?

Or maybe it should be something important and motivational, like how it pays off if you're persistant... but I um... haven't been paid off yet. Or have I? Has this blog changed someone's life and they just haven't told me yet? Or um... is the cheque in the mail? Maybe just a 150 word long blog. Yeah...

Onehundred Fourtynine

It's interesting... or it would be if I knew, how many people devote their lives to climbing a mountain. No, I don't mean a metaphorical mountain like the mountain of homework or paperwork you have to "tackle" before the weekend. Or like, the mountain of macaroni and cheese you ate for supper. Oh... the mountain of meat you have for the BB-Q ~drool~ I'm just going to think about that for a bit.

Oh man, that would be sweet. Go out, have a BB-Q with your friends and they've all bought meat and it's your job to cook it up... oh yeah... Just the thought of the smell of it... dang that's something I'm missing right now. Just a big juicy steak that's nicely marinated and just dripping with cowey goodness. Or a nice big juicy pork chop... oh yeah, all ready to be covered with apple sauce, just cook 'er up and she's ready to go. Oh yeah baby, I'm right there with you. And that smell, that gorgeous smell of onions cooking in the frying pan in the kitchen, unless you gots a fancy BB-Q that you could fry 'em up right there. Oh baby, I hope I have a dream that I'm BB-Qing and you can just smell it and-

Dang, I should get to bed before these images go away. Don't worry steakey baby, I'm coming to cook you right up.

WOTD:

Civilize - (vb) 1. to raise from a primitive state to an advanced and ordered stage of cultural development 2. refine

Haiku:

Thick and juicy meat

Dripping with marrination

Grill over fire.

Onehundred Fourtyeight

Tomorrow they're calling for snow but wouldn't say how much. Um, do they ever? It seemed to me that they've said in the past whether or not we'd get a lot or a little snow, so as you could expect what driving conditions might be. Now I don't know what to do Mr. Weatherman. I guess that means shoveling snow tomorrow, not that I have much ground to cover. That's one thing I don't miss from my old house, having to shovel the driveway and also the sidewalk. Now there's just a small driveway and that's it. Well I also shovel the neighbor's snow, just because it's hardly anything and I'm young and spry.

So then, worst and best things about winter are as follows:

The Worst

- can get really fricken cold

- when snow melts but not completely, ice forms and kills puppies and kittens. Probably. Also I skinned my knee because of snow already.

- probably other things

- pigeons

The Best

- snowball fights

- tobogganing

- the beauty of undisturbed snow

- snowflakes, but like... big ones

- broomball

- mittens and scarves and toque's oh my!

- probably other things

- not pigeons

Right, so there it is: my list of 2008's premium um... winter discounts?

I'm hoping but also doubting that we'll get a big dump of snow tomorrow. Do you think it will finally come? Will winter remember who it once was? Only time will tell, my friends. ...Um, you can't see it but I just ...what do you call that action? When a job's done, you kind of clap/brush your hands against each other, as if you're getting the dust off them. You know: "That job's finished" `clap dust off hands`

WOTD:

Einsteinuim - (n) an artificially produced radioactive element

Oh... I was hoping for some kind of ...crystal they found in Einstein's scull or somesuch.

Haiku:

Sliding across ice

Right into fluffy snowbank

Watch out for yellow.

Onehundred Fourtyseven

"If eggnog wasn't so delicious, would people just revert back to rum?" asked Henry. "No," replied James. "I think they would go to chocolate milk, or perhaps they would instead go to wine. After all, chocolate milk isn't really a celebratory drink and perhaps seen more for kids." Henry thought it over a little, holding his chin with his left hand. "Tell me James, why do people need a celebratory drink? Isn't the fact that it's Christmas reason enough to celebrate?" inquired Henry. "Well yes it is, Henry. But you see," answered James "People enjoy celebrating holidays with food and drink, hence the turkey dinner. And what would turkey be without something to wash it down with?"

"But I like turkey just the way it is. I think Nanna puts in just the right amount of stuffing, and the cranberries do compliment it nicely. And let's not forget the gravy." said Henry. "Mmmmmm" Both boys said as one. And so, the boys continued to sit and think of the meal to come, the meal of Christmas. They were looking out the round window from their room, down at the kids playing football in the field across the street and to the right. They had been sent there because of a disagreement they had with their father about-

Just then there was a rap on the door. "Henry, James? Are you too still sore?" It was mother, come to look up after the boys. They were supposed to be working on their mathematics but instead she found them staring out the window like a couple of ...well a couple of boys wanting to be out on a day so nice as this one. It was late September and the weather was, as was the common thought, quickly running out of warmth. It would be a shame to waste such a day indoors, but such was the punishment for-

"Mary? Do you think we could talk a moment?" called father. His tone meant now and his face was losing patience. He did not want the mother of his children giving in to sad faces, and because of what the boys had done, did not want them to see a pleasant face for a good long while.

Onehundred Fortysix

Sitting in the warmth of the sun, in her favorite rocking chair by the east window, she was reading the latest book by her favorite author. She was stuck on the last chapter, or rather the first sentence because if began to read that would either bring about a sad ending or a rather cursed cliff hanger. It seemed to her that there was no way the author could end such drama in one last chapter, and yet it seemed unlike the author to do this to his readers. Perhaps the author was wanting to try and start a series for the first time, as all his previous books were all beginning, middle, and end stories, maybe this was his first attempt in continuity.

If this was such an attempt, she didn't like it one bit. This sort of ending was no sort of way to treat your loyal readers. She didn't know which was worse: a cliff hanger or a sad ending. The story has been so good up until the previous chapter, or rather the last two paragraphs of the previous chapter. When she turned the page that was when she realized she was on the last chapter of the book. It didn't seem possible at first, she flipped the pages but no other chapters were ready and waiting. She went to the table of contents and saw that chapter 30 was in fact the last chapter.

What a cruel way to bring such a wonderful story to an end, whether that was a brief ending only to be continued or it was a definite ending was yet to be seen... and who did he think he was, ending a book in such a way?! How dar- ! She slammed the book shut, as if it has been a door in the author's face. There was no way she could go on now and perhaps ending before the worst should happen would be the best way to remember the story. Yes, that's what she'd do. Just leave the book locked away in the attic and come up with a better ending. Then she would write a letter to the author and tell him how she felt.

She got up to fetch a pen and paper... but the book was still in her hand and she was still sitting in the chair. The chapter had a bit of length to it, perhaps a hero comes and saves the day at the last moment. Perhaps there's still hope left, still a chance for a good ending. She had quiet enjoyed the author's previous works, he hadn't let her down before ...yet.

Onehundred Fourtyfive

You know what I like about bunnyhugs? They're warm and fuzzy and comfortable, but best of all they have pockets. You know what I like about pocketed shirts? Uh, well... neither do I but I like them.

I was thinking about getting an iPod yesterday when it suddenly occurred to me:

Okay well maybe it didn't.

What I'm trying to do here is start out with fact and then make a story out of it, but I want the story to be believable and not something that you could just say I'm making up. Sigh. Right now though, those creative juices just aren't flowing enough. I could make something up all fantastical, but I want a dose of realism this morning. I blame Special K, it was deceptively delicious because it also has strawberries in it. And now I can't think of a good enough makeupance.

I'ma go to the library now.

WOTD:

Makeupance - (n) a made up instance, a story that did not occur but could have.

Haiku:

Frost forming on roof

Sunshine makes it glisten bright

Sparkles of rainbow.

Onehundred Fortyfour

I don't know which is worse, but I do know what tops both: saying you'll do something but not doing it.

That's why I resolve not to make any new year's resolutions. I know the idea is self-improvement but I don't think that happens too often, and really I can't remember any of my past resolutions to know if I've kept them. Also I have such a bad memory that I don't know if I could trust myself to remember the whole year long and more what it was I resolving to do or not do.

Yeah, I have a white board in my room right where I could see what it says and that would be my reminder, but that white board also tells me to "oil my bike" and "use Google Earth" but I keep not doing those things. Not because I don't want to, other wise it would be "don't oil bike" and "remove Google Earth". I just find myself spending time doing something else or I forget about them or don't feel like it when I do remember.

Okay well, time to sleep. I keep missing out on some good sleeping because of my being used to a 5am wake up call, but not anymore! Except that I still wake up before 7am now. Which my alarm is set for 7:27am.

Sigh. I'ma skip the WOTD.

Haiku:

Open pasture gate

Sheep come flocking to green grass

Forgot what they had.

Onehundred Fortythree

Inconsiderateness.

I tell ya, it's not just the bus riders that get me, it's anyone who is consistently inconsiderate; when it involves the bus or some other type place where being considerate of others should be obvious, that's like the lowest of the low.

As far as I knew it was common knowledge, once you became of age to ride a city bus, that you don't sit in the very front of the bus because those seats are reserved for the elderly and mothers with strollers. Maybe that sort of thing just isn't taught anymore, for some reason, but people just don't abide by those rules anymore. I could see if the bus was filling up and it's a time in the morning or evening when there just wouldn't be any elderly or mothers with strollers and there's no other place to stand or sit but the front of the bus, then you sit down in those seats as to make more room for standing.

But when the front of the bus is the first seat you take, especially when you're in an area known to have many bus-riding elderly, you just don't take those seats. Especially if there's an elderly person right behind you! Man, courtesy is going right out the window these days. And those people at the back of the bus who sit in a two-seater ...seat, but they take the isle seat and leave their backpack or bag of some sort (or some don't even do that) on the window seat, those people are usually the worst because usually they don't move their royal hindquarters so that someone else might sit down, those people are the worst.

Man, you should just be able to download knowledge straight into your brain, like in the Matrix. That way, I'd be able to know how to drive without having to take these stupid tests and I'd be able to drive some kind of fuel efficient car or better yet I'd be able to drive a helicopter and I'd fly around for the army or better yet, a jet plane and fly my friends around to wherever they wanted to go.

Sigh.

WOTD:

Wagonette - (n) a light wagon with two facing seats along the sides behind a cross seat in front.

Haiku:

Face down on the cloud

Looking down upon the earth

Throw down your lightning.

Onehundred Fortytwo

Today

Only from day to day
The life of a wise man runs;
What matter if seasons far away
Have gloom or have double suns?
To climb the unreal path,
We stray from the roadway here;
We swim the rivers of wrath and tunnel the hills of fear.
Our feet on the torrent's brink,
Our eyes on the cloud afar,
We fear the things we think,
Instead of the things that are.
Like a tide our work should rise,
Each later wave the best;
"To-day is a king in disguise,"
To-day is the special test.
Like a sawyer's work is life-
The present makes the flaw,
And the only field for strife
Is the inch before the saw.

John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890)

Onehundred Fortyone

Luck.

I don't know if I believe in luck, or if it really is "luck" and not happenstance or coincidence or fate or destiny (is that different from fate?), but I do know this: Sometimes I do feel lucky. Punk.

If good fortune is the definition of luck... well what does that say about fortune cookies? I ask this because nowadays you can find your "fortune" underneath the bottle cap of a Jones, it's a by-product of business. So then, back in the day (14th C.) when they were called "moon cakes", people took this stuff seriously because it was more like passing along a secret message but then it slowly changed over to what we know as fortune cookies today.

I think what I'm looking to know is whether or not people are living out their lives based on their luck. Even before I finished typing that sentence I knew the answer, but I wonder if that's more superstition than luck, so then is superstition part of luck? I suppose it would have to be. I guess for a moment I just found it hard to believe people would go about their lives seeking out luck.

I think the most I ever turn to luck as a way of life might be... I don't know, I guess if I'm going into a big exam or interview or ....something, I might say "Wish me luck". But it's not like I've said that often or believe that without that person's wishing of luck that I won't pass the test or get the job or um...

I suppose that I am part Irish and so I maybe should believe a little more in luck... but then I suppose I'd have to feel more lucky to really believe in luck. Maybe it's the lack of luck in my life that makes me not believe in it. I might say that if someone avoids a crash, then I might call it luck, but I think that's more of a phrase for me: "Wow, that was lucky". I don't believe that I mean it, as if the thought of "That person must have a lucky rabbit's foot on their key chain" goes through my head.

That being said I do tend to get a little superstitious at times, wearing my Roughrider shirt on game day (not that it did much good) or maybe I'll ...um... I can't think of another example. Also, if I find a $20 on the ground, I might just call it my lucky day. I don't really consider myself all that lucky though. Or... can you be luck and accident/injury prone at the same time?

WOTD:

Jalousie - (n) a blind, window, or door with adjustable horizontal slats or louvers.

Hee hee, a jalous(ie) louver(s).

Haiku:

Fairy tale love

Always meant to be not me

Finding someone else.

Onehundred Forty

The art of ordering in food.

This must be done with careful consideration as to what kinds of food are liked and disliked by all members in a party, but only the ones who will partake of any food ordered. Don't bother with those members in a party who are not going to partake as it would be a waste of time and probably money.

It is important to order food for when you are planning to eat. If food arrives long after people have become hungry, they might begin raiding your house for anything that might be consumed. This is not desired because it is assumed that since you are ordering food in the first place, it is because you do not have enough food in your house, or that you do not want to share your food with others, or that you have bad taste in food and you know it and do not want to be embarrassed by your poor taste in food. Also you want to avoid any possible chance that your friends or their friends might have a cannibalistic tendency. Such a discovery could potentially ruin a friendship and cause embarrassment.

Once you know what kind of food is desired by all or most members, it is good to know which restaurant is best for providing for your needs. It is important to know which has the best portions for your money, quality of food, promptness of service, and little to no delivery fees.

When placing the order, make sure the person taking your order from you clearly understands what it is you want, as to avoid unwanted or missed items. Much pain in the butt is avoided when what you want is what you get.

WOTD: There is no Word of the Day today, due to the lack of a dictionary. Steve.

Haiku:

Running to market

Fetching a loaf of French bread

Enjoy it with soup.

Onehundred Thirtynine

Rehashing songs.

There are only so many songs on the radio, these days of... hecks, it's not even December and yet Jingle Bells and um... Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Rednosed Reindeer and um... those other songs, are coming through the speakers. I bet if you took the time to sit down and listen to all the songs on the radio that you can hear in one day, in a list of 10 songs you'll get probably 6 of those 10 will be repeats, different versions but repeats none-the-less.

Thankfully I won't be in a work environment where I'll be listening to those same songs over and over, for much longer. That's right, I got me a part time job at The Sizzler. No not really, I just grabbed that from Weird Al's Albuquerque. Let's just say it's a higher paying job and I'll be able to get a car sooner than later.

I suppose I should get in mind what kind of car I would like to purchase first, but really purchase not just pretend purchase. The kind of car that I could actually afford, not the kind of car I would like to afford because I'm pretty sure they stopped taking "I'll be your best friend" as payment. I think I'll start with my first car as a Taco Truck, that way it'll help pay for itself.

WOTD:

Valance - (n) 1. drapery hanging from an edge (as of an alter, table, or bed) 2. a drapery or a decorative frame across the top of a window

Haiku:

Feeling along wall

Light switch hiding from my reach

Darkness swallows me.

Onehundred Thirtyeight

I guess you could say she was wrong the whole time. I had a hunch about that from the beginning, you see, I've had a thing about knowing whether someone is right or wrong, it's something I can sense. It all started back in grade 1 when...

You know what I like about nervous people? They're easy to pick on. This is especially fun when you know you can get away with it. I don't mean pick on as in "bully" I mean pick on as in "tease". Say someone has a delicate ...um... no, let's say they have a favorite pen and they're nervous about you dropping it. Well it's a pen and you know you won't drop it, partly because it's a pen and you've held one for most of your life

...although that might just change one of these years. You people and your laptops...

Okay well back to the pen. So you know you won't drop it because it's a pen and also you know it's precious to the person so you're being careful, but you just can't help but to fake dropping it. I know you're probably not supposed to find something like that funny, but I just can't help but laugh when someone freaks out over little things. I suppose they say it's the little things that get you, or make life worth living, or make the world go round... but it's also the little things that make me go "ha!".

Yeah, yeah.. simple minds.

I guess the breaking point between picking on and bullying is dependent upon how often the act is committed. The art of it is knowing just how far you can go, and staying just behind that line. Most of the time you stay away from that line, but it's fun to go up to it every now and again. The trouble about it is that sometimes that line, if you go up to it often enough, can get wider. So the real trick is knowing how many times you can approach the line. Probably.

There's yet another problem. There are only so many times a person can have their line crossed, but you don't know if that person's number is more than once until you hit that once. And you don't know where that line is until you've crossed it. So then, if it is only once, you have to know the person in order to know if they can handle that once and you'll still be friends afterwords. If they can't well... I guess it's best to stay away from toying with their nervousness.

WOTD:

Hertz - (n) a unit of frequency equal to one cycle per second

Haiku:

Wind blowing rope bridge

Gently swaying to and fro

Want to get across.

Onehundred Thirtyseven

Okay, here's something about which I am not sure if I like it or not. News puns.

Whenever a news story is brought up in the news, it seems to happen especially on tv, or rather I don't read the newspaper too much so I guess I can't say, but I'm sure it happens quite often in the paper as well; a pun will always be delivered with the headline. It seems to have come to be something I have grown used to, or that it's something I've come to ignore.

No, I've decided that I don't like it, for the most part. I would like it if they were being clever, but I'm pretty sure also that there are only so many times you can be clever with a pun. I don't like that puns are used all too often in a headline or a transition (from one news anchor to another) and I don't like how obvious the pun can be.

I was going to give an example but I don't want to give anyone any ideas or to further promote the use of puns. I don't even get a smirk from news puns anymore. It's more like a sneer.

And that's all I have to say about that. Now it's time for something completely different.

WOTD:

Zouave - (n) a member of a French infantry unit orig. composed of Algerians wearing a brilliant uniform and conducting a quick spirited drill; also: a member of a military unit modeled on the Zouaves.

Haiku:

Fruit basket of love

Filled from my heart's over-flow

Found in back alley.

Onehundred Thirtysix

Vision.

I don't mean eye sight, I mean planning and the future. It seems that for the most part, since society became quite individualistic, taking over the family business or trade, is becoming more and more a thing of the past. It still exists mind you, probably very much so in some parts of the world, and depending on the stability in the life of one's parents. Neither the falling away nor the continuation of a business or trade seem to be constant, especially with the state of the market in North America these days.

There are families in which the same career has been passed down from father to son (and mother to daughter) for many generations, perhaps even since the creation of the trade or business, and that's something that I would like in my own life. At least there is stability in it (again depending on the market in some cases) and there is also a bonding.

I think that for the most part the son always thinks that he will never be as good as his father, and that is how it has always been (or at least that is how I've seen it portrayed in stories, whether film or novel). Maybe such a thing has been romanticized in stories, but I don't believe that to be completely true. I think that if my father would have grown up with a trade and had passed it down to me, I might have a bit more ...confidence. As it is I have grown up with no passed on skill or ability, and unless I develop one of my own I have nothing to pass on to my children. Well that is of course assuming that some lovely lady out there would ever consider myself as husband material.

I suppose if I were to look at my life right now and say "This is what I have to offer" it would be my passion for creativity. I know that creative juices more come from the individual, but perhaps my children would be inspired by my work, or at least my enjoyment of the works I create.

I think part of the problem is that I've been told that I can achieve what I put my mind to, but not shown how to keep my mind on something. Sigh. I guess I can only wait and see where life takes me. Perhaps that is also part of the problem, I'm always waiting for that "final step" but I don't think you ever really reach it.

Okay, so here's the WOTD:

Whilom - (adv) archaic: formerly

I guess as an example it would be "His whilom house" or "Her whilom friends" or "My whilom vacation spot".

Haiku:

Sitting in the shade

Provided by the maple

Dreaming of Batman.

Onehundred Thirtyfive

I don't know what it is about leftover pizza, but it sure tastes good the second-go-round. And it doesn't even have to be warmed up, I'll eats it right out of the fridge. If you do like to heat it up, check and see if the crust underneath is soggy first, if it is then the best way to heat it up is on a frying pan because that leaves the pizza nice and crisp.

So I watched Quantum of Solace today and I've got to say that I like this new style of Bond. He's nice and rugged and not so perfect and he's very ...not cheesy. I know that there are some people in this world that say the original Casino Royal was nice and cheesy and funny and the way Bond was meant to be and etc... but I don't like that in my Bond, thanks. I prefer the rough and tough spy-type who knows how to get the job done, he knows who's side he's on and won't ever change that, and he also knows how to have a good time in the art of kicking evil right in the shins.

Don't get me wrong here, I have sen all the Bond movies to date and I quite enjoy the older ones, I'm meerly stating that I like this bit of a new direction they're taking with Bond. This is more giving my approval than anything else.

Hey, I just got a good idea for marketing for 7-Eleven. They should have James Bond slurpee cups. 7-Eleven has done cups for movies and video games of all sorts, and what better way to promote drinking... slurpees, than having ...well I suppose if I were to say something like 'a man who can really drink a lot' that could be taking the wrong way, as to promote alcoholism, and that's not good for kids. But some would say that James Bond is not good for kids either... my point is that I want a slurpee cup shaped like a martini glass and a straw with 007 looping. And you said you'd bake us a cake!

WOTD:

Confluence - (n) 1. a coming together at one point 2. the meeting or place of meeting of two or more streams

Haiku:

A little steam boat
Floating along the river
Fleeing cannibals.

Onehundred Thirtyfour

I suppose you can say that winter is here now... kinda late, and I don't know if I mind that as much as I maybe should or shouldn't but uh...
As much as it seems winter is here, it really just doesn't feel like it. I suppose I was expecting a foot of snow already, and since there's not, does that prove global warming? I hope it doesn't because I don't want our planet to be ...warm. I don't want winter to be a fading memory, as if one morning you'll wake up, turn to your wife/husband/dog/cat/fish/bird/pillow and say "Hey, remember back in the day there was that white stuff on the ground? Made everything look pretty and I remember something about ...what's that word? You know, when it used to be not warm? No, I don't mean hot... cause it still gets hot. I mean when it's neither hot nor warm it's... um, I think it rhymed with something."

Do you think it'll ever come to that? I suppose that is easy to imagine if you live in a place where it has never snowed before. I guess I just don't want "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" to become reality. Not that I'll miss the cold of winter, but I'll miss the snow. I likes my snow- peoples, angels, ball fights, and fields.

Sigh.

WOTD:

Impulse - (n) 1. a force that starts a body into motion; also: the motion produced by such a force 2. an arousing of the mind and spirit to some usu. unpremeditated action 3. nerve impulse

Haiku:

Windmill of my heart

Waiting for a gust to come

Break this motionless.

Onehundred Thirtythree

I'm not too sure I like the whole 'opposites attract' law, or rule, or ...system. Whatever you want to call it, I'm not too sure I like that idea for me, especially if you were to take it literally.

I'm sure girls who are the opposite of me are ...facinating to somebody and ...lovable, but is that girl for me? Oh wait, I should back up a bit and say that I don't mean she'd have to be opposite to me in every little detail, I mostly mean personality and behavior wise. Also I don't mean opposite in every situation (like being sad instead of happy or shouting instead of being quiet), although I do wonder if attraction to such a person would be possible and it might make for interesting, but uh... I don't think that's for me. Isn't that right Smithy.

Alright, I accept the challange. If you can find the girl most opposite of me... to me... I will date her. Ten bucks? Anybody? Don't tell her about any of this, cause most likely she'd be ...bored? about technology and the communication therein. Oh man... do you think there is a girl out there that's the opposite of me, like completely? Probably. Do you think such a girl would put up with me, the opposite of herself? I suppose she wouldn't want to date me... cause she'd be the opposite and um, since I'm up for it, it's most likely she's not.

Okay but seriously, I wonder how often those opposite relationships last. Man those zombies...

WOTD:

Gherkin - (n) 1. a small prickly fruit of a vine related to the cucumber used to make pickles 2. an immature cucumber

Huh. I always thought a gherkin was some kind of clothing. Weird.

Haiku:

Chainsaw replace hand

Holding a smoking shotgun

Watch the cabin floor.

Onehundred Thirtytwo

I wonder if Hitler would support "green" cars. I'm just saying, he won over the Germans with cars and electricity and that sort of thing, if he had come in today's world, would he have been giving them "green" cars? You would think that he would just give whatever society was demanding... so the answer would be yes.

The reason I bring up Hitler is mostly because I'm watching Band of Brothers, and I um... well he was the first to come to mind that would give out cars. The second would be Oprah, but I thought Hitler would be more provoking to thought because of what he stood for and yet here's a picture of him giving out Eco-friendly cars. Just a bit more ironic than Oprah.

What made me think of any of this was the fact that I rode the bus. Whilst riding I saw this advertisement on the bus that said something like "You're part of making the world green" or to that effect. So I thought: "You know, there are a few things that I do which would be considered "green". I take the bus or ride my bike as a main mode of transportation, I recycle, I don't subscribe to the newspaper (saving trees), I stay away from um... styrofoam plates and cups, ...I had a few more things on the list but am tired and unable to remember. The point is that I live a fairly "green" life. And I'm sure there are lots of other things I could be doing that a "green activist" might shout at me through a megaphone, but um... oh right, at least I'm doing something. See? Tired.

WOTD:

Aria - (n) an accompanied elaborate vocal solo forming part of a larger work

Haiku:

Gallantly I fly

Encompassing the system

Mainframe's protector.

Onehundred Thirtyone

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.

Onehundred Thirty

A Riddle

The Vowels

We are little airy creatures,

All of different voice and features;

One of us in glass is set,

One of us you'll find in jet.

T'other you may see in tin,

And the fourth a box within.

If the fifth you should pursue,

It can never fly from you.

By Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

WOTD:

Intelligentsia - (n) intellectuals forming a vanguard or elite

Haiku:

Follow me swiftly

Into the depths of myself

Buckle up, hold on.

Onehundred Twentynine

Top however-many pleasant odors.

I don't know if these will be in any sort of particular order, I might arrange it that way once I complete the list, I might not. So this is a list of some of my favorite smells.

Also, I think I need to use a better word than "poem" for some of the stuff I write because I don't think they could really be classified as a "poem" but maybe I'll look that up.

Okay, smells:

Coffee, fresh baked bread, roast (beef, pork, chicken) cooking in the oven, bb-q, bacon, laundry being blown from the vent outside the house, freshly photocopied paper, just before it rains, straw/hay bales, licorice, fried eggs (and pretty much any meat being fried), waffles/pancakes, toast, mechanic shop, freshly cut wood, and copper.

As far as the "poem" thing goes, I looked in the thesaurus and the word I like the most is "verse". I think that would best fit as a description to most of the "poems" I make, except of course for haiku.

Okay so here's the WOTD:

Whig - (n) [short for Whiggamore, member of a Scottish group that marched to Edinburgh in 1648 to oppose the court party] 1. a member or supporter of a British political group of the late 17th through early 19th centuries seeking to limit royal authority and increase parliamentary power 2. an American favoring independence from Great Britain during the American Revolution 3. a member or supporter of an American political party formed about 1834 to oppose the Democrats

Haiku:

Bucket full of love

Sitting out on the back porch

Waiting to be used.

Onehundred Twentyeight

If I were not as I am, I would be a grasshopper for one must first gain strength. Next I would be the frog for one must gain patience. Thirdly I would be the weasel for one must gain stealth. The final stage I would reach would be the butterfly for one must gain apple cherry crumble and no one suspects the butterfly.

I was going to complain about something today but I forget what it was. It was probably something to do with society's neglect or being unobservant. Really, I just want the Riders to win and I think that BC is just putting on a tough face but really they're crying to their mama's. Just you wait and see!

Do you think I should mention US politics? All I was going to say is that I think with the US's first African American President, there are going to be a lot of little changes, at least for the length of his presidency. I hope those changes are for the better, last longer, and spread wider but it seems like those things, more often than not are just too much like a fad.

Do you think James Bond has ever tried an iced cafe? I really think he should, when he's on vacation of course. At least just to try it. I bet that if there was an iced martini he'd be all upons. As if alcohol makes life go round. Go have a slurpee for once! Sugar can be just as fun as alcohol James. And a brain freeze would be a lot easier on you than a hangover. Man, just cause he's Mr. Spyo'matic.

Here's the WOTD:

Symposium - (n) a conference at which a particular topic is discussed by various speakers; also: a collection of opinions about a subject

Haiku:

Pac Man chasing ghosts

Mario saving Princess

Samus and Metroid.

Onehundred Twentyseven

The phone.

Since the phone's invention, there has been an urgency to answer it. This can be seen especially in the case of a cordless phone. Since its invention in 1966 by George Sweigert and when the phone was first left off the hook, soon after its invention (probably), there have been people searching frantically for that $%$## %^&^% @*&%^ phone.

It is as if the phone has a compelling force all its own that bids us answer it. Someone could be in the middle of something very important, perhaps their career even depends on it, but if their mobile went off, they'll answer it as soon as they can get to it. Some people are smart enough to either shut it off before the importance ensues, or to shut it off right away, but the fact that they still have it on them shows us just how much we have become on instant communication. Here's a dramatization:

"Oh man! Where's that danged phone?! I can't believe it's out of my hands yet again! I should just get one o'those ear pieces and affixiate myself. Better yet I should just up and cyborg! That way I'll be attached to the world forever and always! My dreams have come true, thank you local telephone and internet company."

More often than not, I know I'm right.

WOTD:

Hanger-on - (n) one who hangs around a person or place esp. for personal gain

Oh. Much like a leech. Just like the phone leeching off your ear!

Haiku:

Stealthy sneak attack

Intricate kung fu combo

Much surprise achieved.

Onehundred Twentysix

Comic strips in the newspaper.

They seem almost essential to the newspaper and I would probably go as far to say that comic strips help sell the newspaper, if I hadn't thought just a little bit more about society.

Comic strips have been in the newspaper since 1913, but it wasn't until the early 1920's that there were multiple comic strips in the same newspaper. You would think that they started as political strips but that wasn't entirely the case. There were a few strips that were in the newspaper just for their comedy. So it would seem that North Americans finds it hard to take in any non-entertaining media, or at least in large doses. There seems to be the need for at least a bit of entertainment in every aspect in the life of a North American, that we can't take just straight news. Or if we do take just straight news, it's most likely that we'd seek entertainment shortly after.

That seems a bit pathetic to me (and depending on if you see this as ironic or not, I'm telling you this by means of my blog) but it would seem to follow the natural course of man, as far as I can figure. Yes there are people out there who have never read the 'funny pages' in their newspaper, or often go without a form of entertainment. But I don't think that means they go without their comedy or drama, just that they find it by some other means. Or maybe they don't and they simply find humor and drama a waste of time.

Either way, if you can't help but seek out entertainment or if you can live without it ...um well actually I would say that it seems a bit unnatural to live without some form of entertainment. I would think that it is only human nature to want to laugh or to follow after some kind of drama. Not that you're any less human if you don't seek it out, but that is also to say that you don't have to actively seek it out for it to be in your life. I would say rather that it is unnatural to avoid it and to say it is a weakness. Yes, that's better.

WOTD:

Tremolo - (n) a rapid fluttering of a tone or alternating tones

Haiku:

Head off to market

Look for a shrouded woman

Give secret hand shake.

Onehundred Twentyfive

I think it would be nice to go some place like Aspen or um... some other ski resort, right now. Partly to get the anticipation for the first snow fall out of the way, and partly because I want to be a rebel. People always go somewhere warm when it's cold in their own country, and ...cold when it's warm? I don't know about that second bit but I just want to go some place where they know how to have a proper winter. None of this delayed snow crap, or that you get little bits at a time until finally you get a big dump of snow, except by then it's too much snow and also there's ice underneath it all so if you're driving anywhere you're going to have a tough time, but at least you have your snow tires.

Sigh.

I think it would be nice to work at a ski resort at least once in my life. I don't know what kind of skills I'd bring to that job but I'd like to be some kind of guide. Yeah, the guide to all the places with good hot coco.

You know, here we say "hot chocolate", or at least I do, but I'm pretty sure that if you're working at a ski resort you'd have to say "hot coco". It'd just be one of those unspoken laws. Like how you'd call everything "mitts" instead of "mitts" and "gloves". Or maybe everything's "gloves" and not "mitts". Yeah.

Okay, WOTD:

Kolinsky - (n) the fur of various Asian minks

Is kolinsky the fur equivalent to bologna? Probably.

Haiku:

My luck spreading thin

Curbside dice too adictive

Stop while I'm ahead.

Onehundred Twentyfour

I think that if I were to be a tree, I'd rather produce fruit than not. It would be more probable that I would be chopped down if I were a tree that did not produce fruit. But then I suppose if I didn't produce a good enough crop year after year, after pruning and care, I'd be chopped down. But then, who's to say I'd have to be a fruit baring tree in the city or in an orchard?

I suppose if I were in the forest, I'd rather be a tree that does not produce fruit because the chances of my growing big and tall would be better than if I were a fruit baring tree. Although, I'm not really one to say that fruit baring trees do not grow tall and large because all I know is what I've seen in the city and on an orchard. Do you think fruit baring trees grow really big in the jungle? I guess they might if they're trying to get sunlight.

The point is, I'd rather be a tree than any other kind of plant, except maybe poison ivy or another plant like it just so I could catch the dumb people that come through the forest, not knowing one plant from another. Those fools, they actually wouldn't see me coming or knew what hit them.

Mwa ha ha ha ha haaaa!

Okay, I'm okay. Here's the WOTD:

Roentgen - (n) the international unit of measurement for X rays and gamma rays

Hm. I wonder how many roentgens would be in the Hulk.

Haiku:

Going to market

Haggle over price of fruit

Coffee with a friend.