Multipurpose Exposition

Season Two Episode Thirty One

2010-03-12T20:51:00.003-06:00

Benjamin Franklin
Harnessing lightning's power
Apple computer.

Dramatic entrance
Striking awe in everyone
Unforgettable.

Paper mache set
Grade five children's production
Dinosaurs in Cats.

Chocolate cake meltdown
Symbolic of my sister
If she was shorter.

Lumberjack breakfast
Making the cook earn his wage
Meal fit for men.

Chinatown shopping
Found rare and unique items
Friendly shop owners.

Season Two Episode Thirty

2010-02-22T20:03:00.002-06:00

Bag full of rainbows
Left laying in the alley
Who will find this gift?

Dropped at the roadside
Seemingly thought forgotten
But by the owner.

Fortunate eagle
Focused eye finding salmon
Fish brings nourishment.

Nugget of goodness
Nutrition out the window
Not meant for adults.

Taco filled with love
Token gift from Mexico
Taste buds are happy.

Quarter filled tip jar
Qualifying bartender
Quick to fill orders.

Ant following ant
Acquiring blade of grass
Accomplished workers.

Season Two Episode Twenty Nine

2010-01-02T17:21:00.002-06:00

Here's a story that I began to write before I played the game with a couple friends that same day! Also, if you don't know the game, see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland_Yard_(board_game) for details.

Dear diary, it’s currently 9:41, and I still have no trace of the target. I’ve narrowed his position to two locations: the eastern end of the city, and the southern end of the city. I figure the best way to track him down further is to go from house to house, explaining the situation and asking if they’ve seen the target recently. If this plan of action does not show progress within a week, I will come up with another one.
Today I will begin my search for the target in the southern end and work my way up east. But then, perhaps there is a chance the target might move to other parts of the city. It may be better, and more efficient to start in the east and work my way down south, especially since the police have the west end covered. Hm. If the police have the west end covered, certainly they’d be able to cover the northern part as well, and therefore, it wouldn’t matter if I covered the south end first and made my way east, or if I started in the east and made my way south. I suppose that since I’ll be heading south in order to start my search, I might as well start my search in the south and work my way east. Ah, that sounds like a good plan. Okay dear diary wish me luck!

Season Two Episode Twenty Eight

2009-12-18T12:47:00.002-06:00

Here I am, in Calgary, AB visiting my dad. I just thought I'd share a few haiku with you all that I wrote on the bus on the way here.

Blue helicopter
Sitting in a wheat field
Waiting for clearance.

Stops along the way
Hardly worth my mentioning
Boring bus depots.

Clouds veiling sun
Creating rainbowed sun dogs
Over snowy land.

Same destination
Two paths, one made much too long
Time more than doubled.

Music keeping me
From losing my sanity
Thank you Mstrkrft.

Blueberry bagels
Hickory smoked beef jerky
Orange and banana.

Fog making its way
Across the lands and highways
Creeping us all out.

Season Two Episode Twenty Seven

2009-12-07T10:49:00.002-06:00

Poetic justice
Unable to be upheld
No rhyme or reason.

Building a rainbow
Laying the bricks one by one
Filling up the sky.

Pizza in a cup
Filling my mouth with gladness
Pepperoni love.

Lakeside bonfire
Seen from across the waters
Longing for the warmth.

Big school of fish
Multitude of bright colors
Swim along swiftly.

Season Two Episode Twenty Six

2009-11-18T19:22:00.002-06:00

As I sat in my office, gazing out the window, I saw the city sprawled out below me, how the river seemed to have cut through it, long ago, as if a ruler had measured out precisely where the river would lie and which way it would run. I imagined how it must be, to sit in an office of a smaller building in the core of downtown, how your only view would be the next building over, and how if I had that office for too long, I would probably draw a picture on the building just outside my window, so that I could have a view, of some kind. Then every once in a while I'd scrub it off and draw a new one, just for the sake of variety. Either that or I would imagine how it is to be a guy with an office at the edge of downtown, where it didn't matter how high up your office was because you'd still have a view of the river and the rest of the city.

At that moment, I saw a curious thing. A mother had been walking with her child down the pathway along the river. The child had a red balloon in ...her, hand but it was not tied to her wrist as it should have been. How did I know that? It was because the red balloon slipped from her grasp and started to float towards the sky. I could remember when that first happened to me when I was her age, and a part of me was sad for that little girl, but then the adult part of me realized there was work needing to be done and I couldn't feel sorry for every little child that lost a balloon.

It was at that time when I noticed the particular path in which the balloon seemed to be on, which was leading right to my office window. Sure enough, before too long, the red balloon hit my window with a soft 'poom' and then slowly made it's way up along the rest of the building, as if it were guided by an invisible hand. Whether it made it's way over the roof without popping and continued to sail through the skies, or it got caught under the ledge of the roof and eventually popped or just got stuck there, I don't know. That's when it struck me! ..Er.. an idea, not the balloon. This was going straight to the top! ...My idea, as well as the balloon. I could see the promotion now!

Season Two Episode Twenty Five

2009-11-15T17:28:00.004-06:00

Stephanie awoke. The alarm hadn't woken her, for there was still another two minutes before it would go off. Was it her body anticipating the alarm, or had there been a noise outside? It was still dark out, but then again at this time of year, it took longer for the sun to rise. Hmm. She felt tired, and therefore did not want to check the time, nor did she. She turned over onto her left side, found a comfortable place on the pillow, and tried to once again attain sleep.

Had she been dreaming? She didn't think so, but remembered the professor saying that one does not always remember one's dreams. If that was the case, then she just didn't remember what her dream was. Stephanie thought about the last time she had a dream, in the hopes that she would quickly fall asleep. The last dream she remembered having involved her friend Tim and Samantha... something about them fighting and Stephanie was trying to break it up but she couldn't speak because her mouth was sewn shut.

"... -a smile on his face, the day that you left this place! Welcome home!" Rang out from her radio, it was her alarm going off. Just when she thought she could get some sleep and perhaps let the day carry on without her. Stephanie opened her eyes, stretched, and made her brain tell her arms to throw off the covers so that she could get out of bed. The message must have gotten lost on its way to her arms because no action was produced. She thought maybe she'd get her legs to do the work, to swing out of bed and make their way to the door. This also did not happen. Had she suddenly become paralysed? She had stretched, and was able to put her arms back underneath the covers... what happened between then and now?

As the music played on, Stephanie realized that yes, she did have a life to get to, yes it would hurt her marks if she missed her classes today, and in order to accomplish all that, she had to get her body to cooperate with her brain. With what seemed to be great effort, she finally got her left arm to move towards the top of the blanket and put it up and off of her. She then got her right arm to finish what the left arm started. Now for her legs to do her job. Stephanie propped herself up on her elbows, and pushed herself up into a sitting position. While she put her body into submission, her mind worked on waking itself from a state of sleep, into a state of ...well at least semi-consciousness.

Finally Stephanie got her legs to move from under the covers, the warmth of that soft and inviting cocoon, into the less warm and less inviting world. She made her way to the door, turned the handle, and headed towards the bathroom. What she needed was a nice cold shower to get herself fully awake and functioning. Only, make the water not so cold... a little warmer... a little warmer... yeah, that's it. Don't want to wake up in too big of a hurry, leave that job for the coffee she'd make. Was there time for coffee? Yes, her first class didn't start until 9:30 today, so that left at least an hour to get ready for school. Ugh, thought Stephanie, why couldn't the weekend be three days long?

Season Two Episode Twenty Four

2009-11-06T09:15:00.006-06:00

It was good to see the sun rise again, it has been too long since anyone had seen it last. Three years, five months, three weeks, two days, five hours, and forty-five minutes. We don't know why the sun stopped rising in the first place but ever since the first day it didn't rise, there have been those of us who have been waiting for it to rise again. At first there were only a few thousand of us who knew there was something wrong, right away. On the third day the news was confirmed worldwide that the sun was not rising, that there was something wrong. By that time we had already been looking into several theories as to why the sun was not rising. We could see the sun, so why wasn't the earth getting any of its light?

At first we thought something was blocking the sun's light from the earth, but it only took two hours to find out that no, there was nothing blocking the sun's light. Nothing visible by any tools found on earth. We then thought it had something to do with the earth's orbit, maybe it had gone off course. Then the question came up: why now? Why did the earth come off it's orbit so suddenly? Wouldn't it be a gradual action, that days would get shorter and shorter over a long period of time? Also, how would the earth get off it's orbit in the first place? What change was there in space that could have caused the earth to go off its orbit? Scientists all over the world, those who were more informed, took to inspecting the space around the earth, around other planets, at other planets and their orbits (had any others changed their orbit?), at the moon (was earth any closer or further from the moon?), calculating distances between planets to see if they had changed, and checking if the earth's axis had changed at all. We looked over all these things from the earliest recordings until Day One, or Eclipse Day One to some of us. My team was in charge of checking the distances between the other planets and the sun, and if any of the planets were getting sunlight.

At the same time of all this research, there was a team set up to figure out what we would do, how long we would last, and if there was a way around the lack of sunlight. Could an artificial sun be considered? Was it possible? How quickly could green houses be set up to preserve the earth's plant life? What could be done about the forests, jungles, mountains and plains? By the second day, Day Two, it was clear that there were many questions needing answers, and there were very few answers, or at least none that were halfway feasible. One part of me really wanted to be involved with coming up to solutions, and the other part really didn't. On the one hand, I found it much more important to come up with a solution rather than look at the cause, but on the other hand, I didn't want to have to take responsibility for any of the bad ideas ("solutions") that were being presented.

:Pause Transmision:

Season Two Episode Twenty Three

2009-09-29T19:30:00.002-06:00

Twilight settles over me, as the smouldering candlewick of dusk slowing goes cold.
As I lie upon this hilltop, thinking of what I am meant to be, I listen to the crickets, the frogs, and the rest of the nightlife as they come into action.
Softly and steadily a cool breeze passes over me, causing the trees to dance to and fro, their leaves singing their simple melody.
Looking up at the stars I search out for the constellations I learned at school. As I find some but not others, I begin to make some of my own. Their stories are like those of the ancient gods of Greece and of Rome.
Fireflies have now come out to play, flying about. I watch as their little lights momentarily overlap the stars. In my mind I picture them going to their little parties, drinking tea and eating their sweets.
That’s when I hear a faint rustling. Barely discernable from that of the leaves in the trees, these are the leaves on the ground being trampled underfoot. I sit up, quickly.
Pockets of thunder rumble in the distance, making it harder to hear who or what is coming towards me, or if they are coming towards me at all. Can I reach my backpack in time, to get my flashlight? I say a silent prayer and try not to assume the worst. I get a rush of adrenaline as I try to see what’s in the bush in front of me, straining my ears to hear what’s about to meet me. I wasn’t sure which was more prominent in these woods, bears or cougars, but I was sure I did not want to meet up with either.
Suddenly a sound! A voice calling out! “Hey!” Who could be out here? Could it be a psycho killer hunting poor unsuspecting travels, waiting for them to drop their guard, for the perfect time to strike? I sprang to my feet ready to either fight or fly. Again the voice called out “Hey Dave, did you find the marshmallows?!” What?! They know my name? How did they know... -Right then the person cleared the bushes, it was Dave! Not some crazy lunatic who’s out to get me, but just plain ol’ Dave. I relaxed.

“Sorry” I said to Dave, “I was distracted by the beauty of the stars. I guess I forgot what brought me here in the first place”.“Hey, no problem big guy, I’m just anxious to make some smores!” Dave replied. “And hey, what was with that crazy ninja kung fu pose?” He asked with a big grin on his face. “You were all like ‘Waahh!’ ready to kill me with your death strike!” We laughed for a bit and I said, “Oh, I just thought you’d like to see something like that, thought it would make you laugh.” I said laughing, not wanting to reveal the truth. And so we grabbed the marshmallows, made some smores, and set off to find Dave, to make the Trifecta complete once more.

Season Two Episode Twenty Two

2009-09-23T09:17:00.007-06:00

Sailing along the currents of the eastern sea, just miles out from the coast, I spoted him. As I looked through my scope, it seemed to me that his ship was in need of repair. If that was the case, why doesn't he come into the yard?

I sat down on the bench behind me, it over-looked the port and the western coast of Reikhord, in the eastern sea. It was in the middle of May, just 3 hours before sun rise. I had been out for my daily walk in the country side beyond Reikhord, thinking about all the events of my life in the last 20 years, and where my life was headed now. I had been living a life full of, what I thought was, purpose, but it was only now that I found my true path.

I had been a scrapper from the age of 5 until 10, a fighter from 11-16, a combatant from 17-25, on my way to becoming a warrior, but I could not carry on. After what I saw in the battle at Lightson, and when I found what I had found, I did not want to fight any longer. Now was a time for peace, now was the time to teach children, not to fight as I did, but to increase their knowledge. One book at a time, one subject at a time; the children of the next generations would become scholars.

Just under a year ago, 10 months, the army of Reikhord had been on the march, to a settlement just beyond Lightson. It was said there was a group of invaders encamped at that settlement, bringing up supplies, weaponry, and machinery for a rally against Reikhord that would be once and for all. Turned out it was a monestary, and the only thing being kept there were books. The monestary and everything and everyone in it was completely destroyed because of misinformation. That was when I decided that never again would I hold a sword, that never again would I fight in battle and that the only battles I would ever fight again were of wits. That the only weapon I would ever hold again was a book. I have become a protector of the mind, a preserver of knowledge. I am, a librarian.

Season Two Episode Twenty One

2009-09-13T15:50:00.003-06:00

The first event happened upon the 12th of August, 1953, at 2pm in Colorado, 20 miles west of Walden, Jackson county. His name was Reese Piekson, from Wisconsin, Portage county. He had a wife and three daughters, he was a 43 year old, a geographer, and had been hiking throughout Colorado's Rocky Mountains. He had brought his chocolate lab with him to keep him company and for its nose.

The event in question happened during the second day of his hike. He was just getting into the more interesting territory, finding more and more to study, document, and illustrate. It was around 1:30 when he discovered the forked pathway, and about 1:40 when he chose the one to the left. At 1:55 he was just bringing out his compass to check up on his bearings when he saw that he had come upon a small town, just north of where he was heading. It was at that point that if he had decided not to investigate the town, none of this would have been reported, but for the want of a phone call home.

The town was neatly kept close together, but something was a little off.. the town seemed more like a cluster of buildings than a town, it didn't have a right feel to it. This was something he did not notice until he was twenty yards out of the town. He felt a certain lack of character, that the town lacked that "lived-in" feeling that one comes to expect of small towns, a nice lived-in look. Where the downtown would have been, Reese noticed that not one of the buildings had any sort of identification to them, except the post office and the grocery store. Even those buildings weren't named, they were just "Post Office" and "Groceries", and the town didn't appear to have any restaurant or convenience store of any kind.. That's when Reese noticed someone coming out of a house, one block east of the post office. Two people were leaving the house and.. it seemed they were dressed in some kind of one piece suit, like how a bee keeper would dress but instead of a mesh shield around the face, it was plastic.

The two people were carrying little black and silver boxes, about the size of a lunch box, and were headed for the post office. Reese thought of going up to them but was a little wary. That's when he noticed that he hadn't seen anyone else in the town. There was no other sign of life. He suddenly became very aware of his situation and worried that he may have come across a contaminated area. He sniffed the air, but it didn't smell any different. He looked around at the plant life, but it did not look to be affected. He listened for other signs of life and that's when he noticed that there wasn't any. No insects, no birds, no animals of any sort, only his ..! Cocoa! His lab was nowhere to be seen, Reese hadn't even noticed when Cocoa had gone missing. He thought of calling for the dog, but didn't want to alert the two men who had gone inside the post office, just in case he wound up in some kind of trouble. It would be best just to find Cocoa and leave.

Suddenly he heard growling behind him. Reese whirled around expecting to see a wolf or coyote, but instead he found Cocoa, who was growling at him! Cocoa looked rabid and Reese, believing he only had an instant, took off at full speed into town. He opened the first door he came to and shut the door quickly behind him. This noise and the sound of Cocoa's rough barking alerted the two men who had gone inside the mail box. They had stepped out of the building to see what the commotion was about, and one of them was carrying a shotgun. Cocoa spun around to face them, lunged and was quickly upon the first man, the one without the gun. He frantically tried to get away from the dog, tried to get Cocoa off himself, but it was too late. Cocoa had torn into the fabric and had started ripping at the man's arms and torso. With that man down Cocoa turned on the other man, lunging at his throat.

He had just gotten off a shot when Cocoa had bit him on the shoulder, the shot getting Cocoa in her left hind leg. It seemed the injury just seemed to aggravate Cocoa even more, and she was tearing into the man's neck, but he was able to get off one last shot before he died, killing the dog. It had all happened so fast that Reese hadn't time to think of what to do. It seemed to him that both men and his Cocoa had died before he had a chance to react. Afraid to go over to the scene, he looked around him, searching the house for a phone.

There didn't seem to be much of anything in the house, no furniture, no picture hanging on the walls, nothing in any of the drawers, and no sign of a phone. He found the house had a side door, and exited through there, hoping to avoid the two dead men and his dog, afraid of what might happen if.. He didn't want to think about it. How had Cocoa become like that? He hadn't heard that she had been attacked by a rabid coyote or anything of that sort, it was like she had suddenly transformed into a rabid beast. He took a round about way of getting to the house where the two men had originally come out of, thinking if anything, that's where a phone, or something useful, would be.

When Reese got to the front door, he noticed through the window that this house had furniture. He turned the doorknob and went in.

Season Two Episode Twenty

2009-09-02T19:56:00.004-06:00

The Screaming Adventures of Danika (dan-ih-ka) the Mighty:

Our story starts not at the beginning but during a battle most important to the kingdom of Oxany. You see, the Oxian people were on the verge of annihilation and unless they had a mighty warrior to save them from that brink, they would become only a story, and that story, if not retold to each generation, would be lost. Alas, they did not know this was to be their fate no matter what, but when such a thing as hope still exists, such things as being forgotten are cast into a dimmer light.

The Oxian people and their king sent out word for Danika to come to their aid, hoping word would reach him in time. When the messenger at last found the inn where Danika had stayed the night, in the town of Brovensty, he relayed this message: "To Danika the Mighty, from the people of Oxany and their king: 'Danika, we urgently-' " The messenger cut himself short for Danika had winced now for the second time, so he inquired "Is there something wrong, sir?" "Ah, yes there is boy. You pronounce my name as if you were a little girl shrieking at a mouse! It is not "Dan-eek-ah" it is "Dan-ih-ka". Get it straight now and relay the rest of the message. Then after you have done so you must point me in the direction of the dog who so pronounces my name incorrectly and I will slay him like the pig he is!" Danika said, with a mean looking grin. "Aye sir, I will sir, but first this urgent message from the Oxians and their king!" replied the messenger, now with a bit of nervousness.

The message is this: (being careful to get his name right this time) " 'Danika we urgently request your assistance in battle! Your skill with a blade is known well to us and we would ask that you use that skill to keep us from being lost forever! We're over-run, we're over-run and we believe your presence will turn the tide. Pick up your sword and come to our aid!' As for the mispronunciation of your name, I must confess that I do not know how it originated, but many people have heard it as Da-"

"Don't even SAY IT!" Danika screamed, pointing his finger! The messenger stood, now trembling. "S-s-sir, i-it is only that I mean to say that I cannot possibly come to point out any one person who would come to say your name incorrectly, and certainly not on purpose, it is the only way in which we have heard it said, we mean no harm or mockery by it! P-please, you have to believe me, we all put you in high esteem! We have heard of your deeds and it brings a song of hope to our lips! Just the mere thought of-"

"Yes, yes, let us to Oxany, win the battle and then we shall hunt down the dog who was so ill advised as to mispronounce my name! Now let me get my things, horse up, and we'll be off." With that the two set out on their journey to Oxany, to win a battle and to set things right.

Season Two Episode Nineteen

2009-08-29T17:41:00.004-06:00

As I sit here, waiting for Dave, I can't help but wonder what I would wish for if I had a magic geni. And even if I knew what I would wish for, how could I phrase the wish so there was no mistaking what I wanted, and that I wouldn't get tricked somehow.

For instance, if I wished for the ability of flight, how could I be certain I would not turn into a bird or insect or airplane or some such? And how would I know how long it would last for? Would it be a one time thing? Would it only last for a few seconds each time? You have to be very specific when it comes to genies.

I think flight would be one of my wishes.. like Nathan Petrelli in Heroes. Oh! He arived, so this is where it ends. Until next time!

Season Two Episode Eighteen

2009-07-05T14:15:00.002-06:00

Let me bring y'all back to a simpler time and strawberry pie, cotton pajamas that covered you from head to toe with a flap for your fanny, to a time when it was called your "fanny", to when all there was to a fishing rod was a stick, a string and a hook, to a life filled with days matching those of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

"What?! The book deal fell through!?! Fine, that's it! I'm outta here!."

And that's the last anyone ever heard of Old Man Sedgwinn. As for me, I'm still serving ice cream down at the stand half a block from the beach, across from Macey's. Stop buy and I'll tell you a story about how Bary and Tom solved the mystery of the rented Honda.

Broken into space

Past the atmosphere of Earth

Shuttle seven to Mars.

Season Two Episode Seventeen

2009-07-04T21:23:00.003-06:00

I went for a bit of an excursion this evening, I took my bicycle out to see where the road ended. It was an interesting venture as I had not done so before, and now that I know where it goes.. will I embark upon it once again? That is quite possible, as I very much enjoyed the views, the air, the sounds, and the over-all journey. Would I suggest it to others, for their own pleasure in it? Perhaps not as it was quite secluded and peaceful and were it to become frequented by many travelers, it may not be so for much longer. That is not necessarily the case, as there are many places in this city (and outside of it) that are welcome to bicyclists.

At more than one point in my journey, I found myself wondering how long ago I had reached city limits, or if I had even yet to reach them. No matter where I was finding myself, a little while into my journey I came across a rabbit. I did not see it for long, as it was quite insistent on its escape, but I did manage to get a good look at it. Not long after seeing the rabbit I saw a doe. She had heard the sounds of my bicycle and leapt from her place in the bushes that lay along the road. At this, I stopped my bicycle and watched her as she made her way further into the field by bounds and leaps. As I was on the top of a hill at this point, I got my bicycle going down hill, I peddled with all I could to get as much speed as possible. It was quite exhilarating to reach the extent of my speeding abilities and when my speed came to a climax I stopped peddling and coasted for as long as my speed and the road would carry me.

There had been houses scattered here and there along the road, which seemed to go on for miles, but alas, I finally came to the end of it. There was no left or right, only grass and fence and field. The only choice now was to turn around and go back home, so that is what I did. If there is a next time for this, I shall have to remember to bring along my camera, as the sights are quite nice, for that part of town. Now I will bid you adieu and good night.

Creating fortune

Two halves coming together

Beauty in itself.

Season Two Episode Sixteen

2009-06-21T12:21:00.002-06:00

As the rain pitter-patter's down upon my window, it creates a myriad of drops and streaks across the pane. The clouds have a gloom to them, but nothing too sinister. In the distance, between the houses out back, I can see the edge of a cloud, and light is there. The rainclouds are have come to the end of their water supply and the wind blows them gently away. There could be sunshine this evening, but even if there is not, tomorrow will most certainly be sunny.

I can smell the bacon cooking and know that Nana is preparing her famous brunch: hash browns, eggs, bacon, steamed carrots and broccoli, toast, jams, honey, peach, grapes, strawberries, raspberries, and an assortment of nuts. The children always eat whatever is prepared by Nana on a Sunday brunch, even the steamed vegetables.

I can hear thunder rumbling in the distance as the storm heads west. It had been a while since we've had a decent rain, so this storm, even though it was a storm, was most welcome. I bet that old Mr. Hedgwinn was out fishing. He always said rain was the best time to fish, and if that was the case, what better time than during a storm? He would most likely be getting the brunt of the storm now, since the lake was six miles west of town. He would be very glad for it and would be most enjoying this storm.

Mrs. Ignwhitt would be sitting out in her green house, listening as the last of the rain hit the glass walls and ceiling. She always loves to watch a storm. Listen to the thunder roll and clap, watch the lightning get thrown about. Her favorite time of year is spring and summer, when everything grows and blossoms.

As for my family; Gwenn, the youngest, is always in awe of the storm, it's power and beauty, Peter likes the rain and the thunder, but not the lightning, Heather likes the rain but not any of the rest of it, including the grey clouds (she says they're a sad necessity), and Simon hates it all as he would much rather be outside with his mates playing football or cricket. As for Stacey, my wife, she loves every minute of it and often paints during a storm. She feels she gets her best work done during a rainy morning or afternoon.

Tonight, I have my meeting with T.H.E.M. and I quite think we will run into a success or two, providing Mr. Six has good news, which I do not doubt he will as his last business trip could have been nothing but profitable.

Ah, brunch is served, so I must get to it. Sincerely, Mr. Black.

Sneaky sidelong glance

Of intrigue and mystery

Quick misdirection.

Season Two Episode Fifteen

2009-05-30T22:53:00.003-06:00

It was a tire, suspended in the air by a well-worn yellow rope. This rope was long, over 7 feet, and was attatched to a big oak tree, which sat upon a bit of a cliff-side, 10 feet from the edge. The cliff was about 12 feet down and at the bottom was a lake. This lake put the tire swing at a prime location, for since the lake was well known, the tire swing was well known.

For years, many children have put on a brave face, if not the rest of their body, and would march right up to that tire swing to continue a tradition that had been unknowingly passed down from generation to generation. As long as lake has been here, that cliff has been here, and for most of that time the tree has been here. When the tree wasn't there, the children would run and jump off the cliff, just like lemmings. It wasn't until Mr. McBriddie came across the lake, on his way from one neighbor to another, that he spotted the tree.

The oak wasn't yet 20 feet, but Mr. McBriddie thought that was high enough for a rope to be tied on. You see, the tire hadn't made it's appearance until 7 years later when little Bethany McBriddie came along. She couldn't quite get a good grip, either with her hands or her feet, of the rope. And so it the idea of a tire swing came into Mr. McBriddie's head, so that little Bethany could join in the fun.

Since that day, both the rope and the tire have been replaced several times, either because someone was too hard on one or the other, or because either one was just too old. Never-the-less, many people have said that it was this tire swing that was the first act of charity performed by Bethany McBriddie, but this is not correct, for it was her father, Mr. McBriddie, who both came up with and constructed the tire swing. Be that as it may, Bethany had been accredited the idea for the tire swing for so long, that she began to believe it as fact. When in fact, Bethany was only 10 years old at the time and would not have possess the can-do or know-how to construct a tire swing. This leaves her first charitable act to have come 6 years later when she started The Volunteer Bakery Society For Young Women.

Season Two Episode Fourteen

2009-05-09T14:28:00.004-06:00

He's a cowboy. The six gun at his side contains only one bullet, that is all that he needs. The open country lies before him; mountains built up at his right, prairie fields laid out to his left. His steed remains faithful and proving, helping him get out of a tight spot. The hat upon his head was handed down to him from his pa, saying it's been in the family for generations. That, and the rifle.

He's a cowboy. When he heads into town, his face can't help but wear a sneer, thinking about the kinds of folk that reside there. To his opinion, towns tend to muddle one's vision, conveniences aside. Besides, he would say a life based on conveniences makes one lazy and dulls the wits. A hushing wind precedes him as he enters the town's saloon. He's not looking for a fight, but he'll find one anyway. Ordering a water doesn't help either. The next round is on him, and then everybody sings.

He's a cowboy. Sleeping beneath the stars, a rock for his pillow, he can hear the coyote's cry. Leaving one eye open, he's ready for anything that might come his way. The fire's just enough to keep him warm and to have coals in the morning so the next fire, the one for breakfast, is quick to make up. Coffee and bacon, with some cheese and stale bread.

He's a cowboy. On all accounts he's an outlaw, which he takes pride in; a loner and a rambler, but he ain't the cheating kind. There's nothing up his sleeve. He'll lay down the law where it concerns him or when he comes upon a situation that he deems it necessary, otherwise he is the law. Riding his horse to his next destination, whichever direction that may be, in no particular hurry until he finds reason. Giddyup, giddyup hey!

Season Two Episode Thirteen

2009-05-02T19:19:00.003-06:00

DOOM!

Lightning flashed, lighting up the whole sky, lighting up the small room that served as a make-shift office. It was just typewriter, chair, desk, stack of paper, a lamp, and me, hunched over it all. I was going to need something to chew on or my brain would give out, and I couldn't let it do that when I was this close to getting the break through I needed. They say walnuts are good for the brain, maybe I'll get Ms. Torupkin to go out to the store and buy some walnuts. Maybe she could pick up a fish from the market too, those were good for the brain. Or maybe I could go out myself, get some fresh air in the ol' lungs.

DOOM!

There was more lightning, lasting a bit longer this time. Oh yes, it was raining. I couldn't very well ask Ms. Torupkin to go out in this terrible weather. Maybe there were walnuts in the pantry or cellar. And maybe there was still fish left in the cold room from... no, no that had been used up when I had the Henlink's over. Yes, that was good cod. I had caught it when my brother Gordon had come out from Kent, for one last chance to fish before returning to work (such a 'travail' as he would put it).

So then, what was I to do? The weather was terrible, which had made me get back to the typewriter in the first place, as this sort of weather is good for little else, for a man trapped in a small office in the corner of a small apartment in London. Ah yes, and what was London known for (besides rainy days)? Sardines! Sardine's were fish, and fish were good for the brain! Of course, I shall ring up Ms. Torupkin and she can bring me a plate of sardines.

~Ring~

After a short minute, Ms. Torupkin was at the door, knocking twice while opening the door at the same time. "You rang Mr. Stoate?"

"Yes, I did, thank you Ms. Torupkin. I hope I am not being a bother, I just have come upon a stump in my road, and need a bit of ..a lift over it. Something to invigorate my brain. I would have asked for some fresh air, but alas, this weather isn't giving up, is it?"

"No it doesn't look to be, does it sir?" remarked Ms. Torupkin. "It seems the first rains of winter are always as if the Almighty Himself opened up the clouds and poured all the water from his store houses right through 'em, right on top o'us."

DOOM!

Lightning reached across the sky, illuminating the whole of London and all that beyond it. "Yes, well the reason for my ringing," I continued. "Was to see if you would be a darling and see what there was for sardines in this apartment. I think they would help my thinking greatly. Hmm, and perhaps a finger or two of whisky, if you please. That would do nicely." Without another word Ms. Torupkin left the room, closing the door behind her, and set herself about filling out Mr. Stoate's request.

Season Two Episode Twelve

2009-04-30T22:26:00.002-06:00

Twelve dozen clay jars, all different heights but all the same width, ranging from five feet to just one foot. They're all spread through-out the room, evenly filling it. Each is filled with a different liquid, and only one has what I need. There is a ring at the bottom of one of these jars, which I must have within an hour. How can I get to the ring, without emptying the jars of their contents (including leaving the jars in tact)?

I could try knocking on the jars, seeing if the tone is different, maybe the one with the ring will sound like it has a ring in it? This of course, would be a lot easier if each jar was the same height, then there would be a definite difference in tones. It would also help the situation if the jars had been filled with the same type of liquid, instead of each jar having a different liquid.

Is there a substance on earth that would cause the ring to rise from the bottom of the jar? If there was a liquid I could fill the room with, I'd just have to try and seal the door as best I can, the ring would rise to the top of the jar... but then that leaves me with the problem of getting to the ring without opening the door, thus letting the liquid escape the room and the ring to sink back to the bottom of whichever jar it currently occupies.

And here my brother tells me there's no use for scientific thought. I bet if I had been one of those scientific scholars, I'd have come up with a solution by now. It's a wonder I made it this far, but then again I have been sneaking into the lecture hall, it seems as though some of what I heard has sunk in, too bad they hadn't discussed this sort of situation, in even the slightest detail. The only thing I remember that could out right now is that metal corrodes when left in ... in what?! What was that name of that liquid? Was it a liquid? If only my memory would serve me more effectively. I hope she doesn't call off the wedding... at least before I can figure this out.

Season Two Episode Eleven

2009-04-29T15:43:00.002-06:00

"First thing tomorrow I'm going to feed you to the emys!" cried Mrs. Potston, referring to the turtles in the pond out back. This wasn't the first time she threatened to feed someone to those turtles, especially when it came to Robert, but superstitious as people were, especially Robert, it was a threat he did not take lightly, even though it was one she made often. Robert was Mrs. Potston's stable boy and work hand for around the inn. Not that Repuria was anywhere close to any other town, but that a lot of farmers would come into town, and when any festivities took place, they would need a place to stay. At the moment Robert, who was 10, had been told prepare the stable, for when guests arrived, but a curious rock had caught his eye, which caused him to dawdle and Mrs. Potston to threaten the emys for his future.

Emys orbicularis, or rather, the European pond turtle, was thought of to be most dangerous. As a matter of fact they were not, as turtles go, or rather as far as animal goes, but tell that to the town's folk. You see, the people of Repuria were quite superstitious and prone to believe most anything, if referring to danger and if said in a very convincing manner. The Repurians lived up on a mountain, with not a town in sight for 145 miles in each and every way. As they were self-sustaining, they did not find need to go to any of those towns, except once a year for trade. The only outsider they saw on a regular basis was Ted Gilson, and that only because Ted lived in a house 73 miles east of Repuria.

Ted was a 57 year old miller who would visit Repuria once every two months (twice if a festival took place), to trade, and to deliver any exciting news. It was also Ted's job, so he saw it, to have fun with the superstitious lot that made up Respuria's population. It was he who said the turtles were quite dangerous, that he had seen them clean the meat off the bones of a bull in a matter of minutes. It had just so happened, luckily for Ted, that a bull's skull was found near a pond where some turtles favored, and so his tale was believed.

Season Two Episode Ten

2009-04-07T22:00:00.002-06:00

Lost in the midst of battle, crying not for pain but for vengeance for those who had fallen. Call on the power of fire, call on until the tongue dries to the roof of my mouth. The dawn slowly brings forth the sun, drawing with it colors so beautiful, so breath taking, yet all that is lost to those who fight on. Reach toward the unfinished goal; to breach the gates of the enemy, to bring victory to those who are good. Fight for that which is worth keeping, safe that which if it were ever to become lost, would bring about nothing but pain and sorrow and emptiness and strife.

Fight on.

Strength turning to weakness, hope swaying in the wind. Flesh succumbing, threatening to give out. Press on past the burning, past the aching, past the desire for sleep, rest, and eternal slumber, falling to the ground. Swinging the sword again and again, using your muscles to their limits and then some. Know that you can still make it home, if only you persist, never giving up another chance to see her face once again. To hear her laugh, see her smile, watch her sleep, this is what I fight for. Freedom to love, freedom to work for one's self, freedom from self-empowering, self-pursuing, self-indulging rulers.

Fight on.

To give up is to give in to life forsaken, life under broken doctrines, life where slavery and hardship and burden are every day. Be the resistance, draw the line between good and evil and live only for the good. The fire. Don't let the candle of hope grow cold. The candle burns alone, but it guides us safely home. Fan the flame the guides us home. The buzzing. Tune out the buzzing of the wicked, the self-righteous, the mockers, the oppressors, and usurpers.

Fight on.

Season Two Episode Nine

2009-04-06T23:39:00.003-06:00

Previously on Multipurpose Exposition:

No, you shut up!

And now, the exciting conclusion:

Oh yeah?! Take this!

Dead by Dawn

Tonight's twilight will be the last seen by our eyes, so if it seems so beautiful, kiss the beauty goodbye. Oh my little cornea, please say that you are no more, and ears please swear you did not hear this creaking in the cabin floor. I'll forgive my eyes for lovely lies, so certainly within my will. Please declare this piercing stare, so false, at a clock that's standing still.

Such pretty skin, give it to us. The sun won't rise, my spirit dies. All hope has withdrawn, so here I lay because either way I know we'll all be dead by dawn. Dead by dawn.

Arming shotgun shells, this rotting smell lingers on words that were said. Her body in pieces, my hand cut away. This ever-enchanting book of the dead. The sun won't rise, my spirit dies, all hope has withdrawn. So here I lay because either way I know we'll all be dead by dawn. A chainsaw can remove a limb or act as a replacement. Smell the gas as hours pass, contrary to my statement. The corpses wish to cover me with kisses, so just maybe I'll cover this cabin with their blood. Hail to the king, baby.

- Showbread (No Sir, Nihilism Is Not Practical, 2004)

Okay, well met.

Let's get a slurpee.

It is that time...

Season Two Episode Eight

2009-04-01T10:12:00.002-06:00

Today is April Fool's Day. A day to celebrate the wonders of all things the funny. A day for pranks, tom foolery, hi-jinks, mischievous acts, and general shenanigans. This works best in a classroom or office setting, as there are more people in a localized area, to pull pranks on.

Genius April Fool's Day acts can be, but are not limited to: taking a few select screws out of a chair, door, or desk so that when subject goes to use such items, said items will collapse. It is important, at that point, to shout out "April Fool's!" so that the subject knows they have been pranked. Leaving a note works too.

Another prank may be switching a working object with a broken object, or simply breaking the working object. I find, however, that switching objects is much more humorous because you can both laugh about it once you produce the working object, that way you avoid murderous revenge.

Oh, another one is giving the subject (or multiple subjects) one of those electric pens. Yeah, take all the pens from their belonging and replace said pens with electric pens so that they get a shock when they go to use them!

Oh yes, this reminds me. You know when someone puts crap in a bag and lights it on fire? Does that actually work? It just seems so cliche to me... other cliche pranks are, but not limited to: putting plastic wrap on the toilet (the key is to put it under the seat, for girls) oiling the doorknob (the device not the person... although that would be funny too), and pulling the chair out from under the subject.

Prank phone calls are a good classic to stick with. What you do is go through the phone book pretending to be a relative and reporting a death! But then... nowadays, with *69 and the like, you're more likely to get caught than say... calling and saying they've won a contest. You could also phone them pretending you still work at your old job and um... whatever that job may have been you could say there's a big sale on and they had to get down there today for it to apply. If you didn't work at a job where you sold stuff, you could then just pretend that you did (either sell stuff or that you had a job that you sold stuff). Imagination is needed for a prank call, if you don't have one don't attempt it. Or maybe you should because that would be extra funny.

Season Two Episode Seven

2009-03-30T21:52:00.004-06:00

Captain's Log, date 31/03/09.

I came into an unusual situation today. I made plans to go out today, to check out an opportunity but first, breakfast. When I called for my butler, however, there was no answer. I called for the maid and again, no answer. I don't know what happened to either of them, but if I find out they've stolen away to some romantic get-away, they'll come home only to discover they've had a decrease in pay, and no cupcakes either.

Fear not, Captain's Log, for I do command knowledge of how to make breakfast. I couldn't remember where the bowls were, so I ate my cereal out of the box, by pouring in the milk... which turned out to be a little more messy than anticipated, but I made through it fine enough. I wasn't sure how long to microwave the bread for, but I thought 3 minutes was enough. It wasn't quite the same as what I'm used to, but such is the life one has to tolerate when one is "roughing it".

It turned out the the unknown where-abouts of my maid and butler was not the only surprise for the day. My driver was also gone, and my limo was no-where to be found. I had to resort to taking the bus. This proved rather difficult, as I did not know how to telephone the bus over to my house. I thought, it is a nice day so far, perhaps I'll take a bit of a stroll, and so I set off. Eventually I made it to a "bus stop", but the bus was no-where to be found. Luckily, there did happen to be a civilian standing at the "bus stop" and after a bit of prodding, finally gave me the time for which the next bus would arrive. Unfortunately I had to wait a few minutes and there was no suitable seating area. I mentioned this to the civilian, but she did not seem as upset about it as I was. I made a note of it and thought to bring it up at the next board meeting.

Finally the bus did arrive and I got on. The bus driver had the nerve to tell me that I must pay a fee, as if he didn't know who I was! I told him I had no coins on my person, that I was not some poor old woman with a change purse full of coins and buttons! He told me that I had to pay the 2 dollars or get off, so I got off, feeling quite out-raged and embarrassed, that I promptly stormed off in what I could only assume was the proper direction. I soon realised I was on my way back home, so home I went and decided I would telephone my secretary and have her pick me up instead.

I called for my butler to bring me the telephone, and remembered that he and the maid had gone missing, most likely on romantic get-away. I was not sure where the butler kept the telephone, but it proved not to be hard to find. I rang up the operator and told her to call the office for me. Apparently she was new to the job, for she did not know my office number, let alone its name and had to ask it of me. I forgave her this slight, as she was obviously new, and told her the name of my office. She dialed the number and put me through.

There was trouble completing the telephone call, and that was exactly what I was told by a prerecorded message. I hung up, called the operator again, and told her she had given me the wrong number. She read back the information she had found before, and I told her she was correct and perhaps we should try our luck again. She dialed the number again and put me through a second time. Again the prerecorded message played and again I phoned the operator. She said that the company must have changed the number or- That was when I recalled that James, the vice president, had mentioned something about making a few changes to the security. Yes, that must have been the problem! And so I waited for them to give me a ring or send over a driver. Yes, soon enough they would realise the error, that I had not received the memo, and all would be set aright.

That brings me to where we are now, dear Captain's Log. It has been nearly 10 minutes and there has not been a telephone call, nor has a driver been sent. There had been a while where I sat ready by the door, and then by the phone, but now I write to you, Captain's Log, whilst I wait. I really must end this for surely they'll try to telephone or the driver will arrive. Tah-tah!

Season Two Episode Six

2009-03-24T21:18:00.002-06:00

A Long Walk Spoiled

Always trying to reach his goal,

To get that ball into the hole.

Swinging with that wooden club,

Hoping to miss those infernal shrubs.

In the water, all is lost;

Just don't give that iron a toss.

E-Mail To A Friend

If there ever was a day to travel, this would be it. I'm tellin' ya, get down to some island and relax for two months. By the time you get back, this'll have blown over and you can get your life back in order. Mikey and I will clean things up, Susanne will take care of the paper work, and I'll have Eddie patch it all together like only he can. Trust me, it'll all work out in the end. Just because Alex was a turn-coat, doesn't mean you have to pay for it in the long run. Oh, I know I don't have to say it, but it won't hurt to say it anyway. Stay away from the tables. This is a one time thing because you're a friend. Tell you what, I'll pick you up tomorrow, take you to the airport, and I won't even know which gate you take off from. Then I'll go get Mikey and straighten this whole thing out. Later.

Haiku:

Piecing together

All the clues I can manage

Find clear perspective.

Season Two Episode Five

2009-03-23T22:16:00.002-06:00

"You sold me out! You sold me out! I thought we were friends but then you stab me in the back and sell me to The Man!" It sounded cliche, but it was true. My best friend and I were in cahoots, running a big scam. It was no ordinary scam, it was the kind of scam that would make anyone big and famous. As long as you didn't mind bending a law here, a rule there. But it wasn't breaking the law, it was bending the law, and we all know those are completely different things... until you get caught. And who would have thought that selling your former best friend out would have a bigger pay off than the act he was in the middle of committing?

Want to know how this all started? Well so do I. See, to me it started when I was 7. I was listening to what my grade 1 teacher was saying about math... or at least it had to do with numbers, when this kid next to me tapped me on the shoulder to show me this picture he drew. Or at least that's what I believed until now! I realise now that it was all a sham! He wasn't trying to win my friendship, he was trying to bring me down right from the start! And all this time I thought I was helping him out. I thought I was helping by being his friend, helping by listening to his ideas, helping boost his self-esteem and confidence. But that's just what he wanted me to think, when all along he was just reeling me in so that there'd be someone else to take the fall instead of him.

As I sit here, contemplating what could have been, I'm reminded of an old saying my grandmother would often quote: "If you don't eat your vegetables, your best friend will betray you!" I see now how right she was. Now it seems that all the vegetables in the world won't be enough to save me. Sigh.

Season Two Episode Four

2009-03-22T19:45:00.002-06:00

Coupons.

They are the driving force for seniors, mothers, and those guys who keep track of their favorite whatever. They were created to draw people into stores who felt they could do better in sales, but weren't. Although, now that I think about it they were probably created to allow the customer a free sample of a new product, which is also trying to boost sales for the previous reason. I'ma look it up.

Okay so it was first designed for people to drink Coca-Cola. Huh. Before, Coke was just some kind of tonic and then this guy was all like "we need to make this drink bigger and widespread". So then, why do I bring up coupons? It all started back when I was riding the bus, last week. Back then, things were different. Now it's all "gimme candy", now it's all "candy's lame".

There I was, riding the bus, minding my own business, when suddenly some university students get on the bus! A little while later, this old lady gets on the bus, as if from no where! Well actually if an elderly person was able to do anything as if from no where, that'd be a miracle. So here I was, looking out the window, and there was that old lady talking to the bus driver about some of the dumbest things I've over-heard. Somehow she runs out of such things to say and turns to one of the girls who got on at the university, who was reading the university newspaper, and asks if the paper has any coupons the students can use. As if coupons were the only things that mattered in a newspaper.

The girl politely said no and smiled and I politely gave the old lady a roll of my eyes (which went unnoticed, hence it being polite). I don't know what it is about coupons, but I generally don't get around to using them. I really only use them for the grocery store, and pizza, and only because pizza is over-priced and groceries... well groceries are essential and if I can get them for cheaper, then why not? But I don't think that I envision myself as an old man sitting by the door in my rocker waiting for the fliers to come so I can save on socks at Walmart. Ha ha! It's a pretty funny image though, so maybe I'll do that when we're expecting company, just to throw them off a bit. Mutter something about coupons every now and then whilst rocking in my chair, facing the door. And like, five feet from the door. Oh the dinner parties we'll have.

WOTD:

Riparian - (adj) of or relating to the bank of a stream, river, or lake

Haiku:

Head feeling dizzy

Spun like a record, baby

Sit down for a spell.

Season Two Episode Three

2009-03-18T23:09:00.003-06:00

There it was, laying just before me, telling me to take it to a safe place and that only I could take care of an object of beauty so great as itself. I told myself it wouldn't be right, to take something so great, keeping it for my own. Such a thing should be shared with the world and held on display. But who else could appreciate such a thing? Who else could fully comprehend what an object of such beauty was meant for?

Tourists would come and take pictures, but this was an act they performed for almost anything! People took pictures of anything the eye could see, every day objects. Maybe a few news crews would come by... the reporter might do research, but proper research? And how good would their cameraman be? Would the story even last five minutes? There wouldn't be any celebrities beside it, talk show hosts probably wouldn't even mention it, or at least not the important ones anyway. ...Was there such a thing?

It didn't matter, nobody else would care, nobody but me. But nobody has had a chance to see it yet, how can you say such a thing when no one has even had a chance? We all deserve chances right? The world should be given the chance to take in its beauty, to give it value and worth.

This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and who was I to deny the world of such an opportunity? Besides, who was to say that I was the only one who would fully behold and fully enjoy the Holy Grail of the 21st century? There could be many such as myself, dreaming of something, when compared to the real thing, even half as glorious? Yes, I would fight my inner demons, deny my selfish want, and I would present the Golden Slurpee Cup to the world, so that all may revel in its wonders! I would be the famous founder of a new way of slurpee goodness, and unless 7-Eleven had a museum somewhere, the Golden Slurpee Cup would belong to me! Ah haha ha ha haaaa!

Haiku:

Golden Slurpee Cup

Shining in the bright sunlight

Wonderous to all.

Season Two Episode Two

2009-03-17T11:16:00.004-06:00

It's St. Patrick's Day and you know what that means!

Hilarity ensues when Dave and Rob embark on a mission to make this St. Patrick's Day, the best one yet! Will they set the records? Will they make it out alive? Stay tuned next week for many exciting conclusions! The day started out with a bowl of Lucky Charms.

At Saint Patrick's Purgatory

Donnchadh Mor O'Dala

(Attributed. 13th century)

Pity me on my pilgrimage to Loch Derg!

O King of the churches and the bells-

bewailing your sores and your wounds,

but not a tear can I squeeze from my eyes!

Not moisten an eye

after so much sin!

Pity me, O King! What shall I do

with a heart that seeks only its own ease?

Without sorrow or softening in my heart,

bewailing my faults without repenting them!

Patrick the high priest never thought

that he would reach God in this way.

O lone son of Calpurn- since I name him-

O Virgin Mary, how sad is my lot!-

he was never seen as long as he was in this life

without the track of tears from his eyes.

In a narrow, hard, stone-wall cell

I lie after all my sinful pride-

O woe, why cannot I weep a tear!-

and I buried alive in the grave.

On the day of doom we shall weep heavily,

both clergy and laity;

the tear that is not dropped in time,

none heeds in the world beyond.

I shall have you go naked, go unfed,

body of mine, father of sin,

for if you are turned Hellwards

little shall I reck your agony tonight.

O only begotten Son by whom all men were made,

who shunned not the death by three wounds,

pity me on my pilgrimage to Loch Derg

and I with a heart not softer than a stone!

Translated by Sean O'Faolain

Haiku:

Dressed in green or blue

Thinking of all things Irish

Hard day tomorrow.

Season Two Episode One

2009-03-16T21:55:00.002-06:00

Last time on Multipurpose Exposition:

"If only there was some way we could reprogram the system! Then it'd be chocolate strawberry milkshakes for everyone!" Exclaimed Sara.

And now prepare to be stunned as the exciting events unfold this season, starting now!

"I know," said Gary "I'll just rewrite the initiation sequence so that instead of soy skim milk supplement, it'll give us chocolate strawberry milkshakes!"

"I hope you're right Gary," Sara said, nervously looking around. "Because I don't think I could take it anymore. Day after day we're served soy skim milk supplement with our daily ration of bran muffins, and well... ever since I found out I'm human and not a ...whatever poor creature that puts up with soy supplements and bran muffins... well I just don't think I could put up with it all for one more day!"

"Okay Sara, here goes nothing!" As Gary entered the code or whatever, Sara couldn't help but look towards the door to see if Lunch Lady Luann caught wise of their plan. Any minute she could burst through the door and then all would be lost! Just then a hand came from behind her to rest on her shoulder! She grabbed the hand and with the force of a thousand rhinos and the fancy moves she learned in Thai Chi Class, she flipped whoever was behind her over her left shoulder and onto the floor! BAM! "Dave?"

"Dave?"

"Dave?!"

"Dave! Wake up man, you just fell asleep in gym class and Coach is mad! I think he's gone to get the old broken tether ball to whip you with, you better run!"
"Sir, yes sir!" And with that, I was off like a flash. Man, those days were filled with nothing but hilarity. And wouldn't you know it, Coach didn't fail me after all. Turned out he'd been making out with Mrs. Flarison in the janitor's closet. And that's how I almost failed gym class.

Twohundred

2009-03-04T22:00:00.004-06:00

All the pictures of crows that I looked at, didn't quite match what I saw the other day. I even looked at ravens, just in case I was wrong about it being a crow. I asked my friend Jillian, a bird fanatic, if she had ever heard a crow make a different call or sing a different song than was normal.

I describe the subtle differences in the crow's features, to Jillian. It had brown tipped wings, a small stripe of red around its neck, and there was something about its eyes but I couldn't quite place it, just that they didn't seem right somehow. It was like the crow could see into me, read my thoughts or see my dreams.

When I described to Jillian the sounds the crow made, she said it sounded more like what a Rifleman might call, or a Fullvetta, neither bird being indigenous to North America. She said that the only thing that it could be, that related to how a crow could look but not how a crow sounded, would be the Black-lored Babbler, but that they were native to Africa. I suggested that maybe someone had brought it over to Canada, but Jillian didn't think customs would allow that.

We puzzled over it some more and finally Jillian came to the conclusion that she would just have to see it for herself. She also didn't think that the Babbler ever had a stripe of red around its neck, to the best of her knowledge. So we headed off to the park on the way to Sal's Milk Shop, where I had last seen this mysterious bird.

Of course, when we got there the bird was nowhere to be seen. I tried listening for it, but to no avail. Just when I bring in my bird expert, there's no bird to examine. Jillian said that we should walk around and see if we could find it and after an hour of searching, we still hadn't come across it. Jillian said if I happened upon it again I should call her, and she'd try to make it out this way when she could. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Haiku:

Never forgotten
Always in my memories
Keeping my thoughts warm.

Onehundred Ninetynine

2009-03-03T22:15:00.006-06:00

I was on my way down to Sal's Milk Shop the other day, when I came across a peculiar sight. Or maybe it was more in the way it sounded. Can something look different if it doesn't sound like it should? I remember one day when I was a kid, they tried playing a different song for the ice cream truck. No kids came out because they didn't recognize the song. It wasn't until some kids who were playing ball hockey saw that it was an ice cream truck and were shouting about it until everyone else clued in as to what the music was for.

This was the same idea, only... birds don't usually make sounds other than their regular songs and chirps, unless perhaps they're old and losing their voice, but this was not the case, as far as I could tell. This was a crow with another song entirely. I didn't recognize what bird this song might belong to, if somehow the crow was imitating another bird, which was a trick I didn't think crows could pull. I might have come to the conclusion that this particular crow had been raised by another family, but since when did birds take after young that was not their own? It was not something I was aware of, but I wasn't going to let that lack of knowledge allow me to dismiss the possibility.

I wanted to get closer to the crow to get a better look, but I didn't want to frighten it. Slowly I placed my right foot a few inches in front of me. When the bird didn't move, I allowed the rest of my body to catch up. This also did not frighten the bird. As I watched it, I started to notice some subtle differences between it and how I know crows to look. Maybe I hadn't really bothered to look at a crow this close before, or maybe my memory is a bit off, but there was something about it's plumage that didn't quite fit.

I wish I had brought my camera with me, but who brings a camera with them to get milk? I'll have to get a book on birds and see what I can find.

Onehundred Ninetyeight

2009-03-02T21:25:00.002-06:00

Defeat.

It comes to us at one point or another, in one form or another, and even the size can vary. It is said that defeat is only how one handles it. This is true. When handled correctly, one will find admirers and friends who are there to help out. Also when defeat is handled correctly, one is able to improve where they had previously failed, finding hope instead of despair.

The old adage "Try, try again" comes to mind. One might have to try from scratch, depending on how poorly they were defeated, but at least those first few steps will come a little easier, and perhaps with improvement some of those steps could become stronger foundations. The stronger one becomes, the harder one will stride for success.

Victory can only come through what one has learned from previous failures. Defeat does come at a cost and sometimes that cost is too great for one to try and carry on. Sometimes one can find a way around the cost, but even that is found only after the defeat of many, and with help. All this has been taught to me through the playing of video games. And cannot this lesson be applied to much of life? Indeed it can. Now here's another quarter, beat the next level.

Onehundred Ninetyseven

2009-03-01T20:59:00.003-06:00

If you knew you were going to live past 100 years, what would you do? Would you do anything differently? Would you try and push how long you could live for? Would you try and live a more noble life, try to achieve more goals?

I think once I hit 90, I'd spend the next 10 years doing whatever it was in my life that I hadn't already accomplished. That being said, without the knowledge of how long I'll live for, am I going to now live like every day is my last? Am I going to make the most of my days? I'd like to think that I will do a better job than I have in the past, but I don't yet know about doing anything too dramatic quite yet. I don't really have big aspirations for my life right now.

I think that after those 10 years and I've hit 100, I'd find some place in the world with a really big library and just read, or if I couldn't read I'd have someone read to me. I assume by then I'd have some kind of assistant, so I'd get them to read to me. Or maybe in the future you'll get to plug into a book, like a 3-D experience and I'd just spend my days jacked into all of my current favorite books, and then whatever other books there may be. My assistant would bring me food and take care of me, but if you could virtually live out a book, I'd be all upon's. Either that or if you could do the same with a movie, that would be sweet. And the same with video games. Man, I hope my ol' ticker will be able to take it... Either that or find a mountain some where, build a cabin, and just live out my days enjoying the scenery. As well as have my assistant bring me a book and once I finish that one, he will already have brought me another, and so on.

WOTD:

Sluice - (n) 1. an artificial passage for water with a gate for controlling the flow; also: the gate so used 2. a channel that carries off surplus water 3. an inclined trough or flume for washing ore or floating logs

Haiku:

Sneaky red panda

Taking food from monkey cage

Looking innocent.

Onehundred Ninetysix

2009-02-28T23:03:00.002-06:00

Fallen oak trees were all that remained of what once used to be a place of beautiful seclusion. It was said a hospital was going to take its place. Kill the earth so that we may live. Some would say that was a good thing, some would cry out at the injustice of it.

The city would make sure there was a lot of foliage to help maintain the image of what once was, to try and hide the fact that hundreds of trees were now gone. The press would make it look good, that was their job. In time, people would forget. The hospital will create jobs and serve as a place where many loved one's lives are saved.

Strong memories are hard to forget and at least in those memories and in the photographs taken, that oak forest will live on. We had taken many walks together in that forest. It was the place where we had our first picnic. I'll remember the way she smiled and let out a joyful sound when I removed the blindfold and she saw were she was. It was where her grandfather would take her and taught her about nature. It was where she went for her assignment in photography. It was where she wanted her wedding photos taken, right by our tree. That big beautiful tree where I had carved our initials in a heart into.

Too bad she wasn't here with me right now because I'd have to tell her when she got back from her trip to Fiji. She would have to see this for herself, and that meant having me there beside her, which meant I'd have to see this again, relive this again. It would be another sad day but I was the man, so I could handle it. I would have to handle it so I could support her. For right now that was something I'd face another day. Right now I stood in silence and morned the passing of this ...well it wasn't a forest anymore now, was it. This soon-to-be hospital. I suppose this site would always carry sorrow now. If not for the forest, for the people who would come here to die. And that is the nature of life, to be here for what would seem only a moment, only to pass before you could have your say.

Onehundred Ninetyfive

2009-02-26T22:32:00.003-06:00

Okay so I was going to write today's blog while I still had to pee, but the more I thought about if I could last or how quick I'd have to type or how long I could type for, and what I'd type about while I really had to go... I just couldn't hold it. The pressure was too immense, it was too much of a strain on my body, the weight of the need to pee was too heavy, the seconds were too long and far in between and one minute seemed like it might last a year, the urgency was becoming too much to bare! I just had to go and there was nothing that could stop me, not even the good idea of writing under pressure.

After, there was much relief. So then I thought, but what about writing under pressure? This is no good! I can't just have imaginary pressure, if I could work under that sort of thinking, I probably would have done better in school. I thought, maybe if I imagine the internet is about to be cut off and the last thing I'd want the world to know is in this blog! But then I thought if that were true, how could they access what I had written? So that didn't work. Or maybe there was some kind of contest where if you wrote a full on blog in the next few minutes you'd win a prize. But then I could only think of what kind of prizes there might be for such a contest and if there was a choice between prizes which would I choose? The Lazy Boy relining chair? The trip to Winnipeg? The gift card to Wendy's?

Now instead of a blog written under pressure, you get a blog about the lack of pressure because I just couldn't hold it in. It's good and bad, and the fight is between my body and my mind. My body is thankful for the relief but my mind is disappointed from the lack of creative muse.

WOTD:

Obloquy - (n) 1. strongly condemnatory utterance or language 2. bad repute: disgrace (syn) dishonor, shame, infamy, disrepute, ignominy

Haiku:

Beating with a sock

Warm, fresh out of the dryer

Barely felt at all.

Onehundred Ninetyfour

2009-02-25T15:08:00.004-06:00

I was thinking about the super power based on eye color thing, and I guess your super powers wouldn't have to be elemental based, but it just seemed more natural for one to have more earthen super powers than supernatural.

I can't remember the last time I had waffles. I've had pancakes, but I don't remember waffles. I must have had them within the last two years... but maybe not. I also can't remember the last time I tied my hand at painting. But that's not nearly as tasty as waffles. Oh, I wonder if you can paint at the Mendal Art Gallery. They have a section where you can make your own art, with supplies provided, I wonder if that includes paint supplies, or if they could supply some if you asked. I should do that sometime.

It has also been a while since I've gone camping. As in, I've got my tent, sleeping bag, and fire pit and that's all there is. I think the last time I did that was with Dave and Jeremy, which was also the first time I met Jeremy. I wonder if that was the last time I had toasted marshmallows? Or maybe I had toasted marshmallows at my family's reunion.

I think, in order to resolve these cliff hangers, I'll have to go on a camping trip where we have waffles and toast marshmallows. Oh, we could have toasted marshmallows on our waffles, in the tent! Then we can sit around the fire and sing and make bear calls. Or I could paint a picture of me doing those things... would that be the same? I guess it's quicker than actually doing it.

Okay, that's a plan! Now it's time for a haiku:

Lost in the forest
Looking for berries and nuts
Find bear, lose bowels.

Onehundred Ninetythree

2009-02-23T18:48:00.004-06:00

I think it would be cool if humans had super powers, but how would you determine what kind of powers you had?

One way could be by eye color. Each color would be assigned a different color, but those with mixed colors... either you would have two powers or you wouldn't have any powers at all because your color has to be pure. We would call you "normies" and rule over you. I think the only way you'd have two powers would be if your eyes were two different colors and each eye's color was pure.

The eye colors most common are: hazel, blue, brown, green, grey, and amber. The powers would be as follows:

Green - control over earth's vegetation

Blue - flight, the control over the air, control over water

Brown - control over the soil and tectonic plates

Amber - control over fire

Hazel - control over animals

Grey - control over the earth's metals (also anything made of those metals)

I'm not too sure of any ranking order there might be, but I suppose it would be whatever group was best able to contribute to humanity. Green is good because we need plants, Amber is good because we need fire, Brown is good because we need good soil, Blue is good because we need water and also flying is fun, Hazel... well animals taste good but I don't think it'd be control over dead animals but maybe they could make it so the animals don't feel pain when they die and they would also be able to maintain population amongst the animal kingdom, keeping animals from extinction. Grey ...if you have control over metal... you could help the economy? Somehow? Maybe Grey would be at the bottom and from there, let there be debates.

Meanwhile, I'ma go fly and make sure it rains where it needs to.

WOTD:

Shimmy - (n) an abnormal vibration esp. in the front wheels of a motor vehicle.

Oh. So how's that fit into "shimmy and shake"... ohhh, we just turned that phrase around to stand for dancing. I get it.

Haiku:

Rolling down hillside

Grass merging with my clothing

Tide can handle it.

Onehundred Ninetytwo

2009-02-20T19:46:00.004-06:00

Have you even woken up in the morning and wondered who you were supposed to be?

Do you ever think that you could have a twin, from which you have been separated since birth? How would you know which of you is the evil and which is the good twin? What if you're the good twin? Or if you're the evil twin? What if through-out your life you thought you were good, but really you're the evil twin? Or if you thought you were evil but you're actually the good twin? How much more evil is your evil twin?

If you found out you were the evil twin, would you try and change your ways? Or maybe you found out you were the good twin, would you try and stop your evil twin? Or vice verse? I don't know what I'd do if I found out I was the evil twin, but I'd think it was funny, or at least for a little while. Do you think if the two of you ever met it would have to be a fight to the death?

Maybe you could join forces because it's not like, if you're good you're at the one end of the spectrum and if you're evil you're at the other end, it could be that you're both near the middle, just one is a little more good than the other. It would be more the way you make decisions that's the difference. One chooses to hold the door open, the other doesn't. One chooses to do their homework, the other decides to slack off.

Haiku:

Green grassy field
Birthing forth all its flowers
Surrounded by trees.

Onehundred Ninetyone

2009-02-19T21:53:00.004-06:00

She had been searching for about one mile but still hadn't picked up any sort of trail. Dense as the jungle may be, Lhuna was the best tracker of her tribe, the Porachae. Lhuna was trying to track down her brother's killer, and for two hours she thought she was hot on his trail but then his tracks seemed to disappear. It wasn't as though Lhuna wasn't able to see his tracks, it was more like they had just stopped. She back tracked the mile she just came, watching for anything she might have missed or over looked.

She noticed the black wasps weren't out looking for prey and this was usually their time of day. It was certainly hot enough for them... Lhuna paused to listen. What happened to all the insect life? She realised that there wasn't even the faint hum of the purple lotus fly. There was the call of the red-beaked warbler, and she could hear the white-throated howler monkeys, the yellow-tailed northern hawk gave out a cry, as well as many other creatures that could normally be heard, but she could not seem to hear any of the insects.

When she got back to the last place she had seen his tracks, she bent to examine them further. The grass and moss had been firmly pressed down, more so than a few of his other steps that lead up to this one last step. Why was that? At first Lhuna thought it had been because he had somehow got up into the trees, but none of the surrounded trees had branches that were low enough, even if he had jumped. And if he had jumped, his tracks would show that he had sped up rather than slowed down. His footprints would be further apart rather than closer together.

As Lhuna examined the tracks she thought maybe he had gone left, where the jungle began to thin out a little but there was no indication in his tracks to support that thought. And there certainly was no evidence showing that he went right, where the jungle only became more and more dense with foliage. If only Lhuna had been able to make her brother's killer bleed, blood was a lot easier to track than nothing and sometimes told more than what footprints had to offer. She decided that she might as well go left and see what there was, if anything, to see. Lhuna really didn't want to let this man get away with the murder of her brother, but what could she do when the trail ceased to exist? Can a man really disappear into thin air?

Onehundred Ninety

2009-02-18T23:18:00.004-06:00

This is going to be a free style write-up, eyes closed:

Recognized him from the other day. He was still wearing that yellow hoodie that looked like it was five years old. No fooling. He was talking aobut how he had just come from outer space, and I remember thinking that they probalby had kicked him out because of the way he walked. He was talking about it so much taht I wonder what he would have talked about when he was in space.

Which reminds me, ...well also I don't know my astronomy well enought but is there an "inner space". If not, why's it outter spce? Wh y not just space? Is it because it's out of our atmostphere? Oh... Well I ... but then you might as well use "outter to describve everything outside of earth. "The outter sun", the ...oh hey, I gues swe do yuse "outter planets", or is that just for tv and movies?

I can't imagine life without tv, or rather I have not lived a livfe berfore television and so having grown up watching so much tv and movies, I sometimes forget if something is a fact or not. Or especially terms used in a situation I have never been in before. I can't think of another example besides space right now, but I know that sometimes I'll be talking with a friend and I'll go to bring something up but might not be sure if it was just something I saw on tv or if it was real. Or the way things are done in movies, I sometimes think "this is how life is for these people, but that might be wrong.

For example: gangs and the mob. I've been told by people that there is no such thing as the mob, such as this one girl in my high school. She was Italian and so based on her family being Italian, she said that there was no such ting as the mob and that it was just something Holywood made up. I kinda think that's as if I said that there's no such thing as... oH, no take for instance Bob and Doug McKenzie. They like to say "take off, you hoser" or "take off, eh" but I've not heard another Canadian say that, nor have I used that phrase myself, outside of knowing about Bob and Doug and thus imitating them. But htat doesn't mean that somewhere in this fast country of ours, there isn't a community or village that has used those phrazes before Bob and Doug were gcreated.

I can't tink of anything else right now, but I sure didn't like the weather today. I would rather there hadn't been any wind so that it would have made walking downtown better, but I guess to some degree (no pun intended) the weather will always abe a little chillier downtown than not downtown. Or at least that's the way it is here in Canada. I know some of oyou americans and Mexicans might be all ":oh but it's always warm here in (enter city here) and especially in downtown, you have to dreass for a hot day if you're going downtown. Besides, if not for the wather you're drinking coffee becausea there's a starbucks on every corner and you have to support the starbucks. What would htey do without their installment of cash dollars without... oh wiat, I just used without again. I think.

Okay anyway, I think this is a long enough lbog and I'm not going to even open my eyes because it's probalby really bad. Seeing as though I'm rwitting this without spell check and it's later than I usually stay up to write a blog so I'm not going to be as competent and I might normally be. Exsample of using "without" twoice. and I think that 'o' in "twisce". Oh man, di dI just put an... 's'? in ... well I forget what word that woudl have been. So all this is to say you shouldn't let me blog free style. But I did just incase someone found it attractive. lAdies?

Onehundred Eightynine

2009-02-17T20:57:00.004-06:00

He opened the door... a little too blatantly than intended, but alas it was too late. Besides, it was spring time, shouldn't one be allowed to be a little bit blatant? And it's not like there was anyone up this early in the morning either, let alone that anyone would even watch how he would open the door. It's not like there were any sort of judges about, seeing how each individual opened the door, let alone first thing in the morning.

Feeling confident about it all he quickly grabbed the paper from the front step (that little bugger of a paper carrier couldn't be bothered to get the paper in the bloody mailbox, again this week!), closed the door quietly and with a touch of precaution to any sort of asymmetrical behavior, just in case.

He had just set the paper on the living room table and was about to check in on the coffee when there was a knock at the door. He looked at his watch, which had been broken since he'd received it from his grandfather, so then he looked to the clock on the wall and saw it had run out of battery power at 2:17am. There was a second knock at the door and since he couldn't find out what the time was he decided that it was still going to be too early for visitors... but perhaps they had seen him grab the paper, but if it was Charleston asking to borrow whatever it was in his shed that he hadn't already borrowed and not returned... which might just be the very thing Charleston was after, probably the weed wacker, even though it was the middle of winter but since when did that ever bother Charleston? I suppo- With the third time knocking the knock was also followed by a man's voice calling: "Look, I saw what you did and if you wanted it to become public knowledge that you-"

The door quickly opened and he said "Okay, okay. Just shush about that and tell me what this is all about." The man had a neatly trimmed mustache, much like the one his father used to have until he moved out to the mountains a grew a beard, as if that was the thing to do. Just because one is out in the mountains doesn't mean one automatically has to adorn a beard, but try telling that to his father. That's when he realized the man had been speaking to him and should now be paying attention.

"... -und it to be a little.. well what's the word? Ah! Yes, I thought it was just a little bit blatant and you should know that we in the community will not stand for such behavior, even just a little bit. We have a zero tolerance about that sort of thing. What would people think if we let members of our community open their doors in any manor that they wished? If we allowed that, well who knows what else it would lead up to?! First doors, then maybe the windows! Oh! Could you imagine such a community with windows open in any sort of embryonic fashion? What an embarrassment! Surely this isn't the sort of behavior you want to support? My world, man! Think of the children!

"And don't you think, even for a moment, that this sort of lifestyle would keep within the community (perish the thought of it even getting that far) but that this sort of behavior would spread! From this community to the next, from this side of the city to the next! Oh my! What horror to think of it even having the chance of becoming a city wide epidemic! People of all sorts opening their doors, and not just a little but perhaps with much blatant emphasis! Oh, perish the thought! But these sorts of things can happen you know. And do you know why? It all starts so innocently that one would concid-"

"Um, excuse me. I don't think I quite caught your name the first time. Where did you say you were from? Whom do you represent?" he asked, rather politely.

Onehundred Eightyeight

2009-02-16T20:15:00.003-06:00

Here's an alternative ending to yesterday's blog:

"Should you come across and angry man,

Please do try what you can,

To wish him bliss and happiness,

But do not talk of the botanist."

So for today I decided, on this Family Day, that I would think about the meaning of family, it's purpose. And here's what I concluded, it's a good thing. Yes, this is just a lead into Martha Stuart. Okay, it was an acident but when I was flicking between the channels I saw that Martha had Emeril Lagasse on her show. I would have thought he was better than that. It's not like his show isn't on the air anymore... Oh, maybe he's dying and perhaps one of the items on that list is to do a good deed for a convicted fellon. Well that's good of Emeril, thinking of those bad peoples. I suppose they deserve happiness... just because they're human.

No, I don't like Martha and probably never will, and not just because of her criminalism. I suppose I have to give her credit for that catch phrase "I'm not a crook" Oh wait... that was Nixon.

Today it snowed all day. Not much of a heavy snow, just a light snow. I suppose all the acumilated snow could have added up to a 10 minute heavy snow... none-the-less it is still the most snow we've seen for a while. I'll be creative tomorrow.

WOTD:

Kiln - (n) a heated enclosure (as an oven) for processing substance by burning, firing, or drying

Haiku:

Flight of the Conchords

Fight inner city pressure

Off to Wispy Woods.

Onehundred Eightyseven

2009-02-15T21:23:00.004-06:00

Seeping out the window at the first floor of the apartment,
bringing the slight stench of mildew and a touch of honey mustard.
Always there, night and day, I simply can't sustain it;
For in this home there lives a gnome who loves to show much love to his begonias.
Watering them at noontime, watering them at night;
Watering them in the morn before he takes a bite.
He does oh so love those flowers, he loves them by the hours.
His mood does make me sour, I just can't express my dour.
Why must he be forever watering those begonias?
Doesn't he know they'll be just fine, if only he'd sit to sip his wine.
Let them be, you simple oaf! Take the time to bake a loaf.
Always he waters them, I'm stunned why they've not drowned.
He'll rot the building from the bottom up, if the water does not cease.
Alas I know not how, but I must convince him now;
To stop this incessant watering,
Before I start a'clobbering.
My wit is at its end, and now I'm forced to rend,
That little man out from his place.
But ho! What's this? What is that I hear?
A little voice, sweet and soft, raps gently in my ear.
"Do not harm him, mister please! For if you do you will regret,
That we have ever met."
"Who's there?!" I cry, but this is all for naught,
No one answers to my call.
"What now?" Says I, "what is it that I'm to do?"
Do I listen to that sweet small voice,
Or do I obey that other choice?
The decision lies within my hands,
What to do with that little man?
Watching that blissful botanist,
I will simply shake my fist.
But man he sure makes me-
Decision already made,
I feel myself get on my way,
And as I leave I hear him say:
"Ta, tee tee, ta, tiddley doo,
I am only half way through.
Watch me dance and watch me play,
I will see another day.
Me and all me begonia,
Have drank too much,
Far too much of that Misty Bellara."

Onehundred Eightysix

2009-02-13T22:33:00.002-06:00

Should I make something up? I think I'll make something up.

The year was 1978 and on his way home from school one day, little Scotty Johnson found a blue comb. It wasn't an ordinary blue comb either, it was special. Scotty knew it was special from the moment he saw it and swore on the grave of Tex Ritter that he'd never let it out of his sight. Even though Scotty was only eight years old... well he would say eight and a half, but even though he was only eight and a half years old, you could be sure that when he invoked the name of Tex Ritter, his favorite cowboy hero, Scotty was bound to whatever passed his lips.

The day had started out ordinary enough: he got up, got dressed, ate his breakfast, kissed his mama on the cheek on the way out the door even though she was going on about something or other, he got on the bus and sat next to Tommy Gerts, proceeding to talk about who would win in a fight this person or that person, until they got to school then it was time for class with Mrs. Whutherson. Class was normal, recess was mostly normal with the exception of not getting into trouble for throwing rocks... maybe that was it! He didn't cause any trouble during recess and now he found this special blue comb.

The comb was a little beat up, but nothing too bad as you would notice right away or that a little cleaning up wouldn't fix. So then, with his new found treasure and the will to behave in recess from then on out, little Scotty Johnson was on his way home, whistling a tune. It was a song Tex Ritter would often play: 'High Noon', a favorite of Scotty's. When he got home he raced to his bedroom, before anyone could see his prize, and only when the door was shut did he dare take it out of his pocket. He placed the comb on his bed, took out his shoe polish rag from the box beside his dresser, and gave the comb a polish.

When the comb looked near good as new as he could get it, Scotty put the comb back down on his bed, got the chair from his desk and brought it to his closet, got up on the chair and reached to the back of the shelf to retrieve his treasure box. Carefully holding the box, Scotty got down from the chair and placed the box on his bed. Gently removing the lid, Scotty looked inside. There were his baseball and hockey cards in nice, neat, separate stacks, a few shiny bottle caps and that old harmonica his grandfather had given him for his birthday, just six months before.

Scotty picked up the comb, gave it one last look of satisfaction, and gently laid it in the box. He put the lid back on the box, took the box back to the chair, got on the chair and carefully put the box back on the shelf where it belonged.

Onehundred Eightyfive

2009-02-12T22:16:00.003-06:00

And then he starts talking like he's got me beat, but I said "You're missing one thing: there's no way Christopher Plummer would fall for that." After thinking it through he said I was right, and that was the end of that.

It's not me, it's you. No I'm not talking about the song by Prozzak, or about the album by Lily Allen, I'm talking about relationships in driving.

As a pedestrian, there have been times where I have been all about "Get out of my way cars, can't you see I'm walking here?" But then when I'm in the car I think "Get out of the way pedestrian, can't you see I'm driving here?" (Well not that I'm driving but the fact remains) And to the bigger vehicles I think: "Okay, just because you're a truck, doesn't mean you're king of the road." But then if I were driving a truck I'd be all "Get out of my way everybody, I'm driving a truck here! You're all too slow and tiny!"

It's always someone else's fault. Yup.

WOTD:

Chaffinch - (n) a common European finch with a cheerful song

Haiku:

Singing in meadow

Trip over fallen tree branch

Sudden lack of joy.

Onehundred Eightyfour

2009-02-11T21:02:00.002-06:00

What if, one day, the internet disappeared? You flick on your computer, and whatever program you might have that would automatically start up (msn for example) didn't. You might assume there was a problem with the connection, so then either you try everything on your end to fix the problem or you phone your internet provider. It's only then that you'd realize that you're not the only one. Not because a representative or a tech person told you, but because the phone line is busy.

At most you think the connection is out for the block or neighborhood or whatever, but you wouldn't think it's a worldwide problem. You probably wouldn't think it's a nationwide problem, or even just a citywide problem. But it is. It is worldwide and no hacker in the 'verse can do a thing about it. Do you think that would create a problem? Yeah, more than a few.

Did you know that just over half of North Americans rely on the internet for work, for their career? That is a multimillion person problem. Worldwide I'd say it's a problem for at least two, maybe three billion people. That's crazy big.

So next time you go to read your e-mail, just remember to stop taking the internet for granted. Do you even remember what life was like before the internet? On February 20th, show the internet how much you appreciate it. Join the festivities, today.

Onehundred Eightythree

2009-02-10T21:49:00.003-06:00

Yup, I had my first tooth pulled today. It was my top right wisdom tooth. Just when I thought I could keep 'em all, they had to pull it. How lovely. It was even planned to be steak night tonight but that'll have to wait until another day, Charlie Brown. Sigh.

In other news, I was watching Wheel of Fortune today and this week they're back in Hawaii. You know Hawaii, that small islanded state. That wee bit 'o the USA out in the ocean. Guess what kind of destination was given as a prize, for these lovely people from Hawaii, the good people at Wheel of Fortune decided it would be nice to send a lovely Hawaiian couple, to the Caribbean. "Oh good honey, we get to leave our island paradise for another island paradise! 'Cause we sure wouldn't want to go some where that wasn't an island paradise! How incredibly thoughtful of Wheel of Fortune!" Man, what a load of bullocks. Hee hee, cause I'm so British!

Yes, the couple did seem happy about it, but I'm sure they were just excited to be going some place that it hadn't quite sunken in where they were going at the time. No, I'm sure they'd appreciate the treatment they'd receive and all that, but I just think that if I were in their position... well you know how I'd feel. At least there was a couple that won a trip to Alaska (they were from Hawaii as well). I'm just saying Wheel of Fortune could have thought that through a little better.

There's my rant for today. Here now is the WOTD:

Transaxle - (n) a unit combining the transmission and the front axle of a front-wheel-drive automobile

My Trans Am has a problem with it's transaxle, which I found out on my way to make a transaction.

Haiku:

Dreaming of a steak

Perfectly marinated

Cooked the way I like.

Onehundred Eightytwo

2009-02-09T22:22:00.002-06:00

The human body is a complex thing.

That isn't entirely what this blog is about though. I'm more writing about the changes a body can under-go and that I don't like all of them. The one change I do like is the maturity my taste buds develop.

There are things in this world that my tongue didn't appreciate when I was a kid, but it has come to greatly enjoy now. One example of this is sushi. Before, it was all complainy and also my mind was freaked out about raw fish, but now I'm like, why couldn't I have come to like this sooner? Not that it's too late for me now... I think it's more that I'd like to have been enjoying sushi for a longer period of my life.

I can't really remember, but I don't think I've come across a sushi I didn't like, yet. I'm afraid to add that "yet" but I doubt I've tasted a tenth of the sushi out there, so it's not like I can completely say that I like all sushi.

Also I really like the development of my ears. Before there were only certain types of music I would go for, but now I've got quite a pastiche of genre's under my musical belt. It's not just that I have this wonderful pastiche, it's that my tastes have become broadened but also refined. I'm more able to pick out bad music and stay away from it.

This is not to say that I'm fair to all genre's... but then also that is not to say that all genre's deserve fairness. I try not to dismiss or accept a band because of their genre, but it still happens. Just not nearly as much as before.

WOTD:

Forsythia - (n) any of a genus of shrubs related to the olive and having yellow bell-shaped flowers appearing before the leaves in early spring

Haiku:

Vanilla swirl

My Coke sings with great delight

Bring her back to me!

Onehundred Eightyone

2009-02-08T22:20:00.002-06:00

There's something of a satisfaction in skateboarding.

I can't remember a time when I didn't like the feel of a skateboard in my hands. The design of the board, the sound of a skateboard going down a sidewalk, the freedom of the ride, the logos, and of course the amazing tricks and stunts people can pull with a skateboard, are just a few reasons why I love it.

I also love the design of a good skate park. It's just screaming "Come skate, listen to your punk rock and hang out! Enjoy a slurpee on a nice hot day whilst you skate the afternoon away." Yeah, it's a little bit of alright. I think the best is when you take along a camera, like ...especially a Polaroid and you're taking pictures of tricks and your friends and there's some good music playing, and everyone's enjoying a slurpee, the sun's shining on your back and there are no problems to bother you.

I don't know if there's an actual smell to a skate park... but if there were I'd say it'd be wood, blood, and sweat. And probably some metal. All the good manly smells. Good times.

Onehundred Eighty

2009-02-07T17:28:00.001-06:00

The Irish Council Bill

Is it this you call Home Rule?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

Do you take me for a fool?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

To be sending round the hat.

Five-and-twenty years for that

Isn't good enough for Pat,

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

And the Lord-Lieutenant too,

Says the Shan Van Vocht,

Is he still to be on view?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

And all them big police,

Monumentally obese,

Must I go on feeding these?

Says the Shan Van Vocht?

Susan Mitchell (1907)

Onehundred Seventynine

2009-02-06T22:49:00.003-06:00

I used to think that if I were the lead singer in a band, I'd want it to be a heavy metal band or maybe a punk band, but either way, the whole time I was on tour, in a way of illustrating what my songs might be about, I'd spend the concert in a box. Just some cardboard box just big enough for me to sit cross-legged under. Yeah, I wouldn't be just in the box, I'd be inside it, so you can't see me. And I'd be sitting there screaming the lyrics.

Now I wonder if it was some kind of subconscious thing and what kind of message that means for myself (as a guy not the lead singer for a band). Like how you might interpret a dream. At the time I thought it would be a fun little gig. And I'd make sure there were holes in the box, cause I know you'd get pretty hot in there... but it would be a sacrifice I'd make because of the point I'd be trying to get across. I'm not too sure what that point would be, but that's because I'm not-in-a-band Dave. In-a-band Dave would have it all planned out and understood.

Also I think it would make for a cool opening to a show. This box just gets set on the stage before the rest of the band comes out, and you're all like "What's with the box?". It would be really sweet if I could be there in the box before anything, like even when the opening bands are playing, that would be wicked sweet! Just like... have a oxygen canister I could use and um, make sure I had water and didn't have to use the washroom. But like, there's just this box on stage and nobody in the other bands are using it, the stage crew isn't moving it... but you know that my band is going to use it for some reason because of the lyrics to my songs... but how am I going to use the box? Is there anything inside? Man, what do you do? Probably throw something at it. Hope it's not a brick.

And then my band comes on, they start playing the first song and everyone in the crowd is waiting until I come out and then I start singing and you're in the crowd looking around for where I might be, oh because the box isn't where I'd stand as lead singer, it's more off to the side. I don't know how that might go over, but that would be sweet for that first couple of shows. Man, in-a-band Dave is crazy. He's going to be sore afterwords because the box is still there when everyone leaves and the lights get taken down, so then your band's personal crew guy comes in with the dolly and takes the box out to the tour bus and that's when I get out. Tee hee.

WOTD:

Cynosure - (n) a center of attraction

Haiku:

Breath into the clay

Watch it grow into a jar

Fill it with your love.

Onehundred Seventyeight

2009-02-05T22:04:00.003-06:00

And now to answer some of my dear viewer's letters.

Timmy from Sandfried, Ohio writes: "Dave, I can't imagine how you come up with these wacky and outrageous blogs, and I love your poetry! Could you tell the step-by-step process you go through to deliver such creative writing gold?"

No.

Dan from Gainsburry, Ontario writes: "Dave, I've been having some troubles with my girlfriend. She wants me to write her some poetry, but I'm terrible with words. I was wondering if I could borrow something from you, since you're so good at it but not too good so that she would catch on. Helplessly in love, Dan."

Will you pay me?

Angelica from Little Lake, Saskatchewan writes: "Hi Dave. I'm a long time reader first time writer and I've just got to say that blog 64 made me realize the value in the little things in life. I know that one is a while ago but it's one of my many favorites. Thanks for sharing."

Thanks for writing, sugarbob.

Geoff from Winterville, Manitoba writes: "It's good to hear a creative voice in the prairies on this blog. I thought I was the only one, and not too many people read my blog either. Maybe we should band together and start a 'Bloggin' in the Prairies' club. What do you say?"

I uh... I kinda feel that's a bit too cheesy for myself, but I suppose if you were to provide sandwiches, I'd support anything.

The last letter for today is from Leila in Canburg, Alberta: "Hey Dave, have you ever thought of writing children's books? I think you'd do a great job and the kids would love your poetry and art work. Or maybe you could give me a few pointers on how to do my own book? Thanks."

I have thought of such a book but whenever that comes to mind I remind myself at how much goes unnoticed by kids (in poetry) and I think I'd rather write a book meant for a creative writing class.

Well that's all we have for today folks. Until next time, give your fingers and brain a workout and write up a short little story or poem. Get those brain juices flowing.

Haiku:

Lost in wheat field

Its smell consuming my mind

Appreciate bread.

Onehundred Seventyseven

2009-02-04T21:49:00.002-06:00

Ouch.

That was the first thought (basically) when I came back into consciousness. I was on my side and I couldn't remember how I got there or why I was in pain. Felt like a couch. I was on my side on a couch. I wanted to open my eyes but thought that I wouldn't like what I would see. Somehow I felt it wouldn't be that great a scene, as if I was in an action movie and I would open my eyes only to see my fiancee gaged and bound to a chair. But then... wouldn't I hear that? Unless he was unconscious as well, I suppose. Kinda like MI: III but roles reversed.

Curiosity took over (especially since there's no fiancee in my life) and the first thing I saw was lipstick smeared onto a plain white coffee mug. Huh. It was resting on a coaster, one of those cork coasters from the '80's. There was a glass-topped coffee table underneath that, not the length of the couch. But my head wasn't some how in the middle of the couch was it? Who would design the room that way? You don't put a short coffee table in the front of one end of a couch, you'd put it in the middle.

Okay so the rest of the room- ah! It hurt to move my head. Like someone had hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Although I suppose it could have been a hockey stick or golf club or the leg of a desk... I don't know why the image of a baseball bat came to mind first. I suppose that's the first thing you think about when someone bashes you over the head, that they used a baseball bat.

I wasn't bound or gaged, so why did it hurt to move my head? Why couldn't I remember anything? I should make a phone call... only this wasn't my apartment, so where was I? There was that question to answer first. I was wearing my blue Superman t-shirt as well as my favorite pair of jeans, so it must have been Thursday because that's what I wear when I know I'll see that cute guy down at the food court. I know he likes comic books and also I saw him with that black Superman t-shirt that one time, no it was twice!

Oh right, where am I? The ...house? looked neatly kept, smelled neatly kept, and owned by someone who either found television useless or didn't keep one in the living room. Oh, there must be a girl living here right, cause of the lipstick. Right! Uh... had I been drinking with some of the girls? No because it didn't really feel like a hangover.. it felt more like being bashed over the head with a baseball bat (okay so the difference wasn't much but I also didn't taste alcohol in my mouth). And I didn't taste blood either. I felt the back of my head and there wasn't a bump.

Right then there was a voice, a soft male voice, as though he was trying to be soothing. He said "It's good to see you're finally awake". I looked around to see where the voice might be coming from, but saw no one. Oh! There was a video camera in the ceiling corner on my right. And there's the door. "Yes, you can go if you'd like but I would advice on hearing what I've got to say first." This time he sounded a little more instructive.

"Where am I? Have you kidnapped me?" I asked, my voice a little groggy. "It's not like my family has a lot of money or anythin-"

"Oh no, it's nothing like that". His voice a little softer, "Don't you remember?" he asked. "No, I don't... remember what? Is this some kind of prank, because if it is... you better show your face, you're starting to freak me out a bit here..." My hands started to sweat, I looked to the door... would they be waiting for me on the other side or could I just leave? He said to listen to him, not that he was talking right now... "You had something to tell me before I left?" I asked, trying to sound like I wasn't too worried or anxious. I didn't want to set anyone off, if that was a possibility.

Onehundred Seventysix

2009-02-03T22:07:00.002-06:00

Ever wanted to try something different? Do something you've never done before? I'm sure there might be a list forming, or perhaps there has been one forming for years and you're slowly picking away at that list. Or what about acting in a different manor or having different behavior or talking a different way? It could even be as simple as wearing different clothes or combing your hair different. Or maybe you want to listen to different kinds of music.

Whatever there may be in your life, is there something holding you back? Are you waiting for the right time in your life? Do you think such a prospect needs to wait until you're in your 40's? Perhaps you're afraid of what others may say or think. Or maybe there's been someone in your life that changed this, that, or the other about their life and the people around them reacted poorly and so that's dissuaded you from causing changes in your own life. It could be that the thing holding you back is that you can't think of anything original enough. You want to do something that no one has thought of before, but history is so varied that it's hard to come up with something. Or maybe you've come up with something but it's so extreme to you that you don't think you could pull it off. Or maybe you think you wouldn't do the idea justice that you just don't act upon it. You would like nothing more to see this act come to fruition... but just not through yourself.

Maybe it's time for you to step out of your comfort zone, to get away from your fears of what people may think, or to just pick an idea and try it on for size. Does it really have to be completely original? History does repeat itself, so it's not like anyone wouldn't blame you, and besides, if the idea is "fresh" enough, it doesn't really matter if someone in the past did it before, in fact it would be a tribute and people would love you for it. Probably.

It could be that you're thinking that everyone seems to go through so many changes these days that you don't want to be another "change around Sam". You're perfectly okay with how you are and besides change only leads to catastrophe.

For myself, I think I'm one of those who says they like themselves just the way they are. Not that I'm opposed to change and in fact I've made changes in my life... they might not be profound but they're enough to keep me going. Or maybe I've tried changing and it's only turned out for the not so awesome and so I've left change well enough alone. What I do know is that I admire what Andy Kaufman tried to do, and did do, for comedy and general show business.

Okay, WOTD:

Cetacean - (n) any of an order of aquatic mostly marine mammals that includes whales, porpoises, dolphins, and related forms

Haiku:

Rose petals falling

Blown to and fro on the wind

Reach out to catch it.

Onehundred Seventyfive

2009-01-30T22:36:00.003-06:00

Taking liberties.

I'm talking about when someone takes what is already made, what is already a good thing, and they alter it slightly or a lot or all together, because they think that what they've got to offer is better than what already exists.

Most of the time, I'm pretty sure this should never be done. There might be the odd exception out there, but I doubt that chance happening comes along more than once a century. I suppose I'm more talking about tv shows and movies... because I was thinking just now that it's not true when it comes to ice cream. I like vanilla, but I like it more with strawberries or raspberries or other type fruit. I also like it with chocolate sauce or caramel sauce.

No, I think more of what I'm talking about has to do with stories. When the author is in charge ...well that's up to them if they change their own stories around, whether it is for better or worse, but I'm not going to complain all that much because it is their making and they can do with it what they like. I might just stick to whichever is better, and I suppose that's just what I'll have to do when it comes to strangers coming in and changing a good story.

For example, I really like the series called "The Sword of Truth" by Terry Goodkind. But I really don't like "Legend of the Seeker", the tv series "based" upon the first book. Normally I'd provide links for these subjects, but I really can't find myself to promote the show any further. The only think I've liked about it so far is it helps provide good visuals as to how that world would look. That's about all the good I'll say about it. Well, and I guess I don't have too much of an objection to how the characters are portrayed... but that's all I'll say about it.

I say we just leave the change making to the edibles. You can spit out bad food, you can't un-watch an hour. It would be good if you could because there would definitely be a few movies and shows on that list.

WOTD:

Uxorious - (adj) excessively devoted or submissive to a wife

Haiku:

Sound echoing through

Bouncing off walls inside cave

Must be more careful.

Onehundred Seventyfour

2009-01-29T22:03:00.003-06:00

I'ma free-write because of what my fellow bloggee and a author I admire did. According to his styles though you don't worry about punctuation or spelling, but I like punctuation and I use spell check so... that takes away from that piece free-writing but the end result is still going to be writing whatever is in my mind.

Such as the desire to be covered in chocolate wrappers after a fulfilling lazy day. Not that I could ever eat so many chocolate bars in one sitting as to cover myself in their wrappers but this is make believe right now. So you can relax and also don't worry about the diabetes I could assume from eating so many chocolate bars that their wrappers would cover me. I'm just talking about lazing around, not worrying about anything except reading or watching tv or playing video games or listening to music. But if I were to be listening to music without dancing or rather if I were to be listening to music I'd like to dance (more so that I'd be alone) and would ruin the wrapper covered goodness.

I think the chocolate bar wrappers that would be included in the pile would be Mars, Oh Henry (hey is is just "O"?), Twix, and that one that has that fruity gummy filling oh yes Turkish Delight. I know that a few people I know, specifically my friend Dave doesn't like it but I find it to be satisfying and tasty. I also would like to try that Peanut ball park one I forget but the ad has an elephant and the desire to stick that in peanut allergic faces, it's not that I'm being mean but I don't like being told which chocolate bars I can and can't eat. For example, Mars is saying how strictly free of peanuts it is. Well I say we weed out the weak and build up the strong.

Not that chocolate bars up to minyata keep us strong, but at least I'm not allergic to anything. I often thought it would be sad that if I finally get stung by a bee or wasp that it would be when I figured out that I'm deathly allergic to their sting and there's no hope for me because I didn't have the needed medication. And most likely if I'm being stung by a bee or wasp it's because I'm out on a bike ride by the river or something and thus far from any place that would get me the necessary medications in time. So I'd be dead on my bike and maybe no one would find me for at least a few hours, unless I went north along the river, then they might not find my body for days at a time.

If I were to die without anyone around me, how're they going to know who gets all my comic books, or who gets my movies, or who gets my novels, and who gets my music? I know who would get these things, but how would anyone know that? And who would get my bike? Would anyone want my bike after I died on it?

And that's free-writing as far as I'm taking it. Here's the WOTD:

Louver - (n) 1. an opening having parallel slanted slats to allow flow of air but to exclude rain or sun or to provide privacy; also: a slat in such an opening 2. a device with movable slats for controlling the flow of air or light

Haiku:

Lower water jar

Well dug deep into the earth

Look out! Marauders!

Onehundred Seventythree

2009-01-28T22:03:00.002-06:00

I suppose growing old wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take so long. This is of course, the child of impatience, and I think that it's safe to say most people would agree that waiting is the hardest part in anything. But then of course, time ticking away isn't so bad when it is being savoured. When a person comes to a point in their lives they fully enjoy, it is only natural for a longing to develop which speaks for that moment to live on without ceasing. So then, the opposite and I think also the middle is also true, but there is still exception for the middle ground. The difference of the middle ground is that you can't wait until you reach a goal, but you're also glad for the passing of the hardships it took to get you where you are.

For example, as a student you are taking classes to achieve the gaining of knowledge, which is needed (as far as society dictates) to come into a fulfilling career. You might not like the studying for exams, the writing of countless papers and the reading of countless books, but once you graduate you feel the fullness of your achievements. You then look for where you might find the best place to live out your career.

As we know, from what life teaches us, this is not always how life pans out. Things go wrong, in a different direction, or we simply change our minds (especially without proper direction of passion, or perhaps passions change).

All this to say that I wish I were in a career where I find my passions fulfilled or at least sated. What keeps me from this longing being answered? I presume lack of experience, but also the lack of willingness, on their part, to train me. Hopefully all this lack can be made up for sometime in the future and I can realise those dreams, but until then I have to wait.

WOTD:

Nascent - (adj) coming into existence : beginning to grow or develop

Haiku:

Color blossoming

Flourish into pleasant smell

Appease my dull eyes.

Onehundred Seventytwo

2009-01-26T22:15:00.003-06:00

Dang, I hate being old cause now I just forgot what I was going to blog about. Something about little people? Stunt people? Oh! Carnies! Right.

Okay so do you think that carnies secretly feel bad about ripping people off or is it just part of their job or is it something they find pleasure in? Also, do you happen to know any carnies? I think it would be an adventure to travel with the carnies for a summer. Either more or less so depending on whether they know about it or not. Tee hee!

Do you think they'd give you a cut of the earnings? A slice of the pie? A share of the dough? Or would it be more like a kick in the pants and bam! right to the moon, Alice. I think as long as you did your weight in work and kept the secrets secret, they'd (another euphemism for getting paid).

I think if I were to work for the carnies for a summer, I might get hooked on in and would want to travel about with them. Assuming carnies travel all year round... I just ...well I assume they do because I assume it's their full-time job. It's their career. Am I wrong? Somebody, am I wrong? Everybody here at the office with their headsets on said "You're not wrong".

WOTD:

Chorea - (n) a nervous disorder marked by spasmodic uncontrolled movements

Haiku:

Nervous in sandbox

Want to ask for red race car

Cute brunette holds it.

Onehundred Seventyone

2009-01-25T16:13:00.004-06:00

I think if I was a ghost I wouldn't want any limitations on ...my ghostly abilities. Like having to stay in the area of my death or uh... being visible only to someone who had a 'sixth sense' or special amulet or um... whatever else there is. And I wouldn't want to be a puppet on a string or something. Like, I'm only a ghost because someone summoned me. Unless they used me for awesome and for funny.

But would being a ghost be that great? Oh also I wouldn't want it to be cheesy like Casper. I suppose I would rather be a ...well maybe a goblin, cause then you're still tricksy and mischievous.

If I had to pick between vampire, werewolf, zombie, or ...mummy? I'd pick vampire. Maybe. Or maybe more werewolf. It seems like there would be too many limitations on mummies and zombies. Or rather as a zombie it would probably be too easy to die again. I've seen and played Resident Evil and I say no. The zombie always looses out. And it's not like if you were a zombie you'd be genetically modified, there's no guarantee on that. Same with the mummy, if you get lit on fire, you're basically done for. Also too much seems to rely on enchantments.

Werewolves would be more fun because you get to be normal for the most part and when the full moon is out, it's party time, baby. But as for the vampire, you'd have to be a vampire without the silly limitations and weaknesses like garlic and um... well I suppose not being seen in a mirror or not showing up in photos could be a benefit. But then you wouldn't be able to go out in the light... I suppose 7-Eleven is open 24hrs, so at least I'd be able to get slurpees still.

It seems I would rather be a werewolf because there are fewer limitations and ...um, in Matrix Revolutions... I kinda thought the two guys that Monica Bellucci kills were vampires, but I suppose they were werewolves. Wait, do both vampires and werewolves die by silver bullets? I'ma look it up. Oh crazy, they kill any type of unnatural creature: werewolves, vampires, monsters, witches, or even "a person living a charmed life". Huh. Time for me to buy a gun that shoots silver bullets, and also lots of silver bullets. Then I'm set for what comes my way.

WOTD:

Stabile - (n) an abstract sculpture or construction similar to a mobile but made to be stationary

Uh... oh. Um, does that mean it's a sculpture of a train or plain or automobile, or the wind? I would have to see an example of this in order to fully understand.

Haiku:

Black Banana Lake

Putting me through all this angst

Under There tribute.

Onehundred Seventy

2009-01-24T22:07:00.002-06:00

Do you think you could survive on an island, by yourself, for four years? There's no wild life, so you only would have fish that you catch, if you can catch it, and coconuts to eat. Also the odd crab that comes along. I don't know if I could.

I'm pretty sure if there were such a thing as time travel, most of the North American culture wouldn't be able to survive back in the ...well let's even say the early 1900's. I think I could survive that... but on my own? And in the middle of undeveloped country? Then again maybe not, and I'd like to think of myself as a little more experienced in the grounds of wilderness survival than the average city person.

I'd like to develop some kind of testing that would be able to figure out how long a person could survive for. It would take into account the person's upbringing, know-how, and so on, and then would plot it against whatever circumstances one might face. So then you would be able to calculate how long each individual would be able to survive for and under which circumstances they'd have the best/worst chances to make it through.

Right well, I'ma go sleep in my nice comfy bed and be thankful for what I've got.

Here's the WOTD:

Enervate - (vb) to lessen the strength or vigor of : weaken in mind or body

Haiku:

Landscape stretching out

Miles of terrain surround

Which way should I go?

Onehundred Sixtynine

2009-01-23T10:21:00.002-06:00

You know what's ridiculous? Putting a scarf on a snowman. Or maybe it's more sadistic than ridiculous. Or maybe it's just so ridiculous that it's sadistic. Or maybe it's ridiculously sadistic. Or sadistically ridiculous. Either way I won't stand for it. If I see a snowman with a scarf, I'ma remove it.

Why? Maybe you could explain to me the reason for a scarf. What is the purpose of wearing a scarf? Yeah, that's right and when you put in on a snowman... it's like you're trying to kill 'em. And that's what I blame for the problems in society. We turn the blind eye to the snowman's plea. Well not this buddy-boy.

I also want to talk about the plight of the snow-shoveler. They're out there doing a good job, only to have it ruined by the next day or a couple days. I say we all band together and put an end to these snow falling days. The next time it's supposed to snow, we all get out into the streets and blow the snow back into the sky. Either that or we um... catch them all before they have a chance to land on the ground. Yep, my work here is done. You're welcome all you snow-shovelers.

And now for the WOTD:

Exacerbate - (vb) to make more violent, bitter, or severe

Haiku:

Lying on the beach

Hoping for rain to pass by

Licking my ice cream.

Onehundred Sixtyeight

2009-01-15T21:42:00.002-06:00

I forget what the one guarantee in life is, I think maybe it's "that there are no guarantee's", and that's to prove a point... but I say that the one guarantee in life is that it is always nice to get out of the cold or come in from the heat.

There is no denying that the body feels relief when the A/C is blowing on a hot day, or when there's a fire going on a cold day. Sure there are people in the world that like it hot or cold, but no body can go without relief in one form or another.

My favorite way to try and beat the heat is with a big slurpee as I sit in my house and read a book. Right now I'm reading 'Hood' by Stephen Lawhead, and I've got to suggest it to you if you like Robin Hood at all. Or even if it's just a good Celtic story you're looking for. Next I think I'll read... probably I'll get back into the world of Jack Aubrey. I'm talking about the books by Patrick O'Brian. I'm only one the second book, which is 'Post Captain'. I really like the world that O'Brian creates for Jack. I can watch that movie often.

How I like to escape from the cold most is wrap up in a blanket and again, either read a book, or watch a movie. Or take a nap I guess. There's not really a food or drink that I make to keep me warm on a cold day. I'll drink hot chocolate or some kind of sweet tea, but I don't really make it for myself unless I've got a cold. Even then it's more just to help get rid of my illness rather than a help in defeating the weather. I guess I'm just not programmed that way. Or rather... if they made a ...hot? slurpee I'd be more obliged to ...call upon it's powers.

Probably.

Onehundred Sixtyseven

2009-01-14T20:03:00.002-06:00

I think I've always liked roosters.

Hey, why don't we eat rooster? Or do we? Is there a meat factory where they pump out rooster and call it chicken? It seems to me that there aren't all that many roosters, or rather that there are more hens than roosters. Is that just how it is or is it something we control? I suppose the same thing could be said about cows. Oh! Do you think we eat bulls? Now I know that some people sound like they do, but I'm talking about the cow not its by-product.

Do you think you'd be able to tell the difference between cow and bull meat? Or hen and rooster meat? Most likely not as I'm pretty sure I've had male pigs and female pigs. Uh... Sow and um... not sow. Boar? I'm pretty sure that just relates to the pig's cousin. Right well I can't tell the difference between bacon's, so this is just a matter of whether or not I've had rooster or bull. With the pig, I just don't know that there's as big of a difference as with cows and chickens. Huh.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's have a little WOTD, shall we?

Heterodox (adj) 1. differing from an acknowledged standard 2. holding unorthodox opinions

I always just thought that was "being unorthodox". Good thing we can still learn something new every day.

Haiku:

Plate full of tofu

Rather have Chinese chow mien

Ginger pork as well.

Onehundred Sixtysix

2009-01-13T21:46:00.003-06:00

Dreams interrupted.

I don't like it when you've been having a really good dream for what seems like all night, and just as it starts to get better you wake up.

What's worse than that though is when life starts to really pull together and you get to the point where, with a little more effort, your dreams or goals start to come through; everything begins to fall apart. Whatever the reason is, there was that one last thing that needed to come together but for one reason or another it didn't, so there goes that dream.
The thing about dreams in life though, is that there is a possibility for a second chance, but not always. As long as you keep focused and keep trying, there's always a chance to reach your goals. I say never give up, and keep trying. People turn you down? Find someone who won't. Something breaks? Fix it or find someone who can. The thing about being human is that we're persistent as long as there's hope, even if we're the only ones who see that hope.

Onehundred Sixtyfive

2009-01-08T22:16:00.003-06:00

Did you notice I was gone for a week? I did. I've been out looking for new ways to spice up my act... or rather to make any sort of act at all. I thought there would be something to do with my poetry; I'd like to read my poems and haiku, share my drawings...

One thing I thought of would be to start a ventriloquist act. I don't have a dummy, so I'd have to get one. The problem with this is that you can't just go out and get one for free anymore, you have to hire them out. With the economy the way it is, everyone's needing a job. I tried to get one who would split the earnings with me but they just woodn't have it. They wanted payment upfront so they could put something in their shavings account. They just woodn't stand for no payment upfront. They were pretty stiff lipped about it. The one guy woodn't even bat an eye. Most of them just looked at me. Slack-jawed.

So I thought that if I couldn't get a wooden dummy, I'd have to settle for getting a volunteer from the audience. I thought that would get some laughs, but then I've seen it done a couple times... so is it one of those things that's been done before and we have had enough? Or is it something that hasn't been done for a while and it would be funny to see again?

Sigh.

Onehundred Sixtyfour

2009-01-01T00:01:00.003-06:00

3! 2! -Oh... I missed it by a minute. Is this how the New Year is starting? Crap! Stupid 2009. Thinks it can catch me a minute late! I'll show you! I'll freeze myself for one minute and then bam! I've gotten back at 2009.

Okay, so until then... What does 2009 bring for yours truly? Besides a minute late.

- more dancing? Maybe if a band I like finally comes to Saskatoon.

- less calories? Maybe if they make... low fat... something I like, but they don't label it as such so I don't have a way of knowing and thereby eat it anyways. Oh, maybe I'll burn off the calories because of all the dancing I'll do going to concerts! Huzzah for the shopkeep!

- more openness towards others

Oh! There goes a firework!

- less complaining

- more discipline

- less heartbroken ladies by declaring myself on the market? Sure, I can takes it. Bring on those millions of phone calls and e-mails, ladies, I'm open for it.

Man, I just got my first prank phone call of 2009. That's like... some kind of record I bet! Only 14 minutes after midnight.

- more card making and sending

- less indecision

- more patience

- less un-recyclable waste

- more eating at home

- less pop

... Okay, I was going to try and do 24 of these babies, but I just can't think and celebrate the New Year at the same time. Also, I want to make resolutions that I can actually keep or try hard to keep. None of this "less war" "more peace" stuff. Besides, 12/24 is good enough for me. What would you rather have? 12/12 resolutions kept, or 12/24 resolutions kept?

Time to post this baby! Oh? a New Year's haiku? Okay.

New Year Haiku:

Fireworks flying

Cheering around the world

Yesteryear's tunes play.

Onehundred Sixtythree

2008-12-22T20:49:00.002-06:00

Hey, you know why days have been missing from my week o'bloggin'? That's cause it's close to Christmas and I've been spending time with friends and also shopping. Not that I hadn't done most of it in one day, but there's also the writing of cards, the drinking of nog and the contemplating of snow...

Okay, so I just haven't made much time for a bloggin', but you know what? It's my website, so meh! All this to say that this is the last blog before the end of no internet. Also I promise that before next year my continued story will finish. And if you haven't been able to keep track of what story I'm talking about, or which parts are the one story... you just have to keep an eye open for "...Continued" at the beginning. Well, if you take the time to look through.

Okay okay. The first part is blog number 156, the second is in blog number 159. And the next is yet to come, only because I haven't taken the time to think up an "ending".

And if you're all like "But Dave, I don't care about this story", then I'm all like "So don't read it and go back instead to some other postings that you haven't read yet". Also, if you're all like "Dave, you know there are error's in this story, right? Did you even proof read?", then I'm all like "No, do I look like I'm still in school to you? Well maybe I look that way cause it wasn't long ago that I was but... the point is that I'm not in school anymore and have gotten out of the habit of proof reading and I'll try to do so from now on." At least I remember to spell check.

What I was going to say for today has been lost to me, which brings me to a point: Being forgetful can be a pain, but it can also be fun because you're always learning the same new things. It's only if you realize that you've done something before but thought it was a new experience when it can get sad. But then you probably don't remember how last time went, so that doesn't matter anyways. I'll probably be in a home when I'm old. Hecks, I should probably be in one now! Who am I? What's the internets? Get off my lawn! I want pea soup!

Onehundred Sixtytwo

2008-12-19T14:43:00.003-06:00

If you ever feel nervous on a date, just tell the person they've got something in their teeth. If they have a mirror on them and prove you wrong, well um... squirt ink and run away. It seems to work for the squid.

Today's topic is casting my movie. The cast I'd like to have for my movie would be Zach Braff, Edward Norton, Lucy Liu, Nathan Fillion, Christopher Titus, Ryan Reynolds, Drew Barrymore, Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler, and Greg Kinnear. Not that these stars would be my total cast, but they would be my first picks.

What my movie would be about is that this group of people are trying to prove to the world that they're super heroes. The problem is that the media keeps explaining away any super deed done by this group, that anyone could have pulled it off, and even that these "super heroes" are setting up the crimes to try and make themselves look good and to con the public.

For example, if one of the heroes comes flying in, the media would say it's fancy wire work. Or if a hero is able to stop bullets, the media would say rubber bullets or blanks or something like that.

I don't know if I would go for the whole "but then a really big problem comes along and the world is begging the heroes for their help". I think I'd rather have it that there's absolutely nothing these heroes are able to do that will convince the media and the world that they truly are heroes. With modern technology the way it is today, it's hard being a hero and being taken seriously.

And that's all I have to say about that.

WOTD:

Neurasthenic - (adj) affected with or suggestive of mental disorder characterized esp. by fatiguing easily, lack of motivation, feelings of inadequacy, and psychosomatic symptoms.

Haiku:

Curving and twisting

Green leafy vines crawling wall

Reaching for sunlight.

Onehundred Sixtyone

2008-12-16T22:09:00.004-06:00

You know how people like to portray one's conscience as a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? How do you figure it is for either a devil or an angel? For the angel would they have a devil on one side and a human on the other? And then vise versa for the devil? I mean, you can't just have an angel or a devil, there's gotta be another voice. That's just how it works, there're always three options.

You know, I don't quite understand how the third option would work (ignoring both the devil and the angel) because either your own instinct would be good or bad, depending on your world view. Or is it just in cartoons that you ignore both and they're both left to um...well actually I can't recall a time where I saw that happen. I can remember when Daffy Duck's conscience angel and demon both agreed on what to do, mainly because they're both greedy. And there are other characters who had similar agreements, but what about when the person disagrees with both angel and demon? Does anyone recall that?

Maybe it's just that whichever decision you make is either good or evil... yeah but I think I'm going more for a 'there's always another choice' thing here. Also, how do you feel about a live action show using angels and devils? The only show that I can think of that might have done such a thing would have been Scrubs. And the only other thing would be Seinfeld where Jerry's brain was having a chess match against his desire to continue to date a woman. So the point of this question is should the shoulder conscience bit be left to the cartoons or is it alright to bring it into the live action shows?

Okay, WOTD time:

Sunbonnet - (n) a bonnet with a wide brim to shield the face and neck from the sun

I just like to say "bonnet". Lol. Hey also a side note, should it be "Lol" or "LoL" or "LOL"? I'm talking about when it's the beginning of a sentence, or one on its own. I always just make the first 'L' capital.

Haiku:

Lost in the luggage

My love for her departed

Now she wants it back.

Onehundred Sixty

2008-12-15T22:09:00.002-06:00

I might be wrong on this, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

This morning as I was heading out to make my milk delivery, I drove past the old mill. I had taken that road because other things were on my mind and I simply hadn't been paying attention to where I was going. I wonder if such a thing is fate. The point of the matter is that as I drove past, I swore I had seen two men standing beside the mill, as if they were inspecting the building. I thought to myself, "Is there really someone interested in that property? Or perhaps they're wanting to start up that old mill again." I couldn't come to a reason as to why they would be wanting to start it up again as the new bakery has been up and running for quite some time now, and with it still running, there's no reason for a mill.

Before I could think upon it any further I had arrived at the market. I thought perhaps I would run by the old mill again to see if the two men were still there. I hadn't seen a truck or any other vehicle, but it could have just been parked off to the side.

My first delivery was of course Mrs. Baydah and as usual she was at the door to greet me. I swear that old lady doesn't get any visitors, lucky for me I have a schedule to keep. I hear the stories she tells can be quite tall. I suppose it would at least be an interesting conversation. I don't suppose that stopping in one day would do any harm, and it would probably bring a smile to that old woman's face.

My next stop was Mr. Butner and his niece. What was her name? Lilac? Daisy? Rose? Well that doesn't matter. What does matter is that Mr. Butner has lived in town the longest and so I had asked him if he's ever heard of someone wanting to buy the property the old mill is on. He said there have been farmers every now and again, stopping in to check out the land, but never had any offer been made. Mr. Butner figured it was because the land was too rocky. I thought it seemed perfectly fine, but I suppose that goes to show how much I know about that sort of thing.

I told Mr. Butner about the two men I saw, and told him we'd have to discuss it further when I finished my deliveries. The rest of my deliveries were done in silence, as no one else in town was up at that hour. Once I finished dropping off the crates and empties, I stopped by Tate's for a coffee and a blueberry muffin. Heather was there today. It was sure good to see her again, even if I couldn't work up the courage to ... well I will someday. Soon. She smiled as I came in.
Right, the old mill. When I drove past it again this morning, there was no sign of the two men. I drove up the road to get a better look, to see if I could find anything that said what they were up to. I noticed tire tracks, looked to be for a car. Maybe if I was a better detective I could say what kind of car, I just knew they weren't truck tracks.

My bet is they're not interested in getting the mill up and running again. In fact, I think they're planning something illegal. If I remember correctly, there was a story about old run-down buildings, out in the countryside, being used to stash away drugs or alcohol, not 3 hours from here. I can't rightly say if those stories are true, but they're not entirely unbelievable. Also there was talk about the mob setting up around this county.

If I'm wrong, it's something we can be glad of. But if I'm right-

Onehundred Fiftynine

2008-12-14T14:52:00.002-06:00

...CONTINUED

Lucas Panton himself, with his own crew of course, dug out the first mine. It was mostly a coal and diamond mine but the legend says Panton found a ruby the size of his palm. He was going to take it to the bank in Pnolla but something happened when he went into the forest. Details vary depending on the story you hear, but when Panton reached Pnolla, he didn't have the ruby and had become a recluse.

It was a long time before anyone dared enter the forest again. It was only when a couple of young hunters were tracking down a buck, which lead them to the forest, did man ever enter again. The hunters got their buck and, when questioned, reported nothing out of place or mysterious about the forest. At first it seemed the hunters would continue to use the forest, and for a time they did, but no one ever dared go more than thirty feet in, it was just considered a superstition.

Eventually, as the world turned to civilization and the modern way of life, the legend of the forest became nothing more than a bedtime story. The surrounding villages grew into large towns, farmers took up what land there was good for grain fields or pasture, and people forgot. Not everyone forgot, if only because they wanted a good story for their children, which was exactly the case for my mother. Her mother had told it to her, and she told it to me. Only in this past year did I find out that this story has been passed down, on my mother's side, for generations since the days of none other than Lucas Panton, the legendary man himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Onehundred Fiftyeight

2008-12-12T16:24:00.002-06:00

You know what I miss?

Warm summer breezes. The feel of nice healthy grass between my toes. The smell of freshly cut grass. The warmth of the sun as I go for a leisurely bike ride or walk. Enjoying a slurpee outside. Jumping on a trampoline. The smell of flowers. OH! The smell of a BB-Q. Hail to the chef, baby. Being outside, cooking up a steak or chop or other type of fresh meat.

Actually now that I come thing think about it, there are a lot fewer smells outside in the winter than the summer/spring. Huh. Cause you know what a freshly shoveled driveway smells like? The same as an unshoveled driveway. Freshly cut grass however, that's a good and different smell than uncut grass.

I also miss being able to pick fruit right off the tree or bush. Man, picking raspberries or Saskatoon berries or whatever else you might be picking... or going to the park and picking crab apples, those are the good times.

The only distinct smell of winter I can think of, that has to do with outside, is how your clothes smell after a snowball fight, and I wouldn't exactly call that a wonderful memory.

Right well, it's my mother's 50th today, so the-athe-athe-a that's all folks.

Haiku for my mother:

Raising me with care

Your love and support help me

I'll bake you a cake.

Onehundred Fiftyseven

2008-12-11T22:07:00.002-06:00

Secrets.

Everyone's got them, no matter how big or small, how many or few, how juicy or dry, or if they are forever remembered or forgotten quickly. There's always going to be something in our lives that we'd rather remain hidden.

For example: the caveman who invented the spear. He was a hunter of course, but I bet that he was too scared to wrestle the saber-toothed tigers like all the others, so he invented a way in which he could keep a safe distance away from the tigers. He said that it was more efficient and productive than going mano-eh-tigro, but really he was hiding the fact that he was afraid.

Also an example for the longest time, and perhaps for them they still convince themselves it's true: the tobaco companies. Since the invention of the cigarette, those who have made them have sold them as a good thing. "The smooth, cool taste of a cigarette is what gets me through my day" or something to that effect. There were big competitions, and continue to be, in which company had the cigarettes that were better than all the rest. Then the idea of cigarettes being unhealthy came along, and cigarette companies have been trying to convince the puplic otherwise. It's not the cigarette that kills, cigarettes are not addictive, we didn't know that...

Perhaps you prefere the secrets kept by the government, or the thought that there are secrets being kept. Area 51 is a popular example, so is brain/mind control, or that the government is secretly watching us all, our every move and conversation being recorded.

To think that every keystroke I make is being recorded somewhere... I suppose that if I were to**SYNTAX ERROR**

Onehundred Fiftysix

2008-12-10T11:25:00.003-06:00

Whilst traipsing through the forest I, James H. Farnsworth, came upon a curious little nook. I had been studying a curious little frog when I came upon the nook. Little did I then realise how it would indeed change my life, nay, the very way I viewed the world itself! How could I have? It was an innocent looking nook and at the very most I thought I might find some artifact buried beneath a layer of earth, at the least I thought it was a charming part of the forest. I would never have guessed what lay in store.

It was a sunday, around 10 o'clock in the morning, business as usual for myself, provided the weather was inviting. There wasn't much of a breeze, not that it truly mattered in the forest, which was a little north of the West Estate, and I had come across a lovely path that ran through it, leading towards Pantonburry. It was not so much a short cut as it was a means of escape.

The forest, you see, was not something people traveled through, if one could help it, at least not anymore. At first the forest was an excellent source for wild game, known only to a few. Eventually word got out about the location, but not because of the forest. It just so happened the the hills and country side surrounding the forest was a prime location for coal, diamond, and once in a blue moon: rare gems. This discovery was one by none other than Lucas Panton, the legendary man himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Onehundred Fiftyfive

2008-12-09T22:11:00.003-06:00

I was thinking about some of the things I enjoyed in my childhood, and one thing that always makes me laugh is how I enjoyed sneaking up on my sister. Sometimes I would hide around the corner and wait for her. Eventually it got to the point that she'd yell something like "I know you're around the corner" and I would be but she wouldn't know which one so I'd still get to scare her. But sometimes I wouldn't be around the corner when she'd say that and then she'd get to the corner and yell out for me to reveal where I was. Sometimes I'd be in my room doing my own thing, but sometimes I'd be in her room, but I don't remember that it was often. Most times I'd be in my room or some other location in the house.

I can still see the layout of that old house, in my head. I can tell you were every room is, and I could probably talk you through that place step by step. Not that I know if the current owners have changed it at all, but I bet I could tell them exactly how it used to be if they did. I wouldn't even have to go inside the house.

I've always liked to give my sister, and anyone else, a good scare, but I haven't done so recently. Or rather, now it's more scaring them in a different creepy way. But uh... that's another story. Probably.

WOTD:

Vicuna - (n) 1. a South American wild mammal related to the llama and alpaca; also: its wool 2. a soft fabric woven from the wool of the vicuna; also: a sheep's wool imitation of this

Haiku:

Softly tread forest

Watch out for leaves underfoot

Cliche twig snapping.

Onehundred Fiftyfour

2008-12-08T15:13:00.003-06:00

I think I'd rather have a Coke than... (not that Coke is a bad thing, by far)

- eating gross corn or baked potato

- go to school

- go to work

- slip on ice

- get hurt

- touch a Pep**

- listen to bad music

- watch A New World

- a bloody nose

- fight a bear

- listen to politics

- get sand in my mouth

- get lost

- kiss a camel

- drop a sandwich

- lose my wallet

But I would never ...insert joke...

I don't know a good line. I was hoping I'd have one by now. If you don't mind, I'm just going to leave you with the WOTD and a haiku.

WOTD:

Pother - (n) a noisy disturbance; also: fuss

Haiku:

Skating under stars

Moonlight shining down upons

Lovers hand in hand.

Onehundred Fiftythree

2008-12-07T14:52:00.003-06:00

Here's a funny prank, for those of you looking for one. Also it doesn't involve any illegal activity, so it's safe and fun for the whole family.

First you go to the closest recycling bins. Oh well first maybe you should get a box, a big empty box. Then you go to the bins and you take out some flyrs. Okay, a lot of fliers. If you're lucky you can find the papers that they keep the flyrs in when they deliver them to the door, the point of that being to make it look professional.

Next you bundle up the flyrs as best you can, again going for a professional look.

Wait... I guess the very first step is to map out where you'll go ...but I just was explaining the prank first. But to save on gas you should map it out first, but then you're using gas to map it out... Hmmm.

So first you map out your trip, then you get a box, then you go to the bins, then bundle (string works too but that's a little suspicious, at least because they don't use string to deliver these babies, I just thought if you've got string lying around for nothing, well here's your something to use it up in).

By now you might be thinking: "Dave, I've got it all bundled and ready to go, what the heck do you have me doing here? You trying to start your own flyer delivery service?" No, I'm pulling a prank here, remember?

So what'chya gotta do is go around to all those houses that have "No Flyers" signs, and you deliver them flyers! This way you get to rub it in their faces but you don't get fired because you're not working for your local paper. This prank is more for when you're in the mood to stick it to the Man because, when you deliver these flyers, and it helps if you can do it for a week, is that these "No Flyers" people get upset and phone the paper, and it's such a city wide problem because you've gone throughout the city so it's not just one paper boy's fault. Or maybe the NF people get upset at their neighbors because they think their neighbors did it, but when it's happened city wide for a week, people begin to think what's going on and maybe it makes the news and that's when you tell them it was Crazy Eddy or something, or maybe the name of a known con man, so you-

Well maybe some of the results are varied and whatever, but the point is that um... you get to stick it to the Man? Oh uh... if the Man is reading my blog... I got this idea from my sister. Yeah. That's it, that's what'll fool 'em. Now it's time for icecream and lollipops...

Onehundred Fiftytwo

2008-12-05T16:05:00.004-06:00

Instant success.

It's kinda sad about how impatient the human race can be. There are not too many things that have been adopted into our culture which would require patience and time. Everything must be done in an instant or else we try another method. I don't know when it happened, but I know it's been happening through out history. I'm sure many a king has preferred the quick servant rather than the servant who takes up the king's time. If something can be done in the same manner but with a faster pace, it would be preferable to do it quickly.

When there is a journey to be made, don't take the long way when you can take the shortcut, that's why the shortcut was invented. The only real reason to take the long way is if the traveler is trying to delay something. Say the traveler is going to a city to die (for some reason) so they plead, for their last hours on earth, to take the long way instead.

Or perhaps you're making a meal which requires time to cook and prepare. In today's modern age you could easily ...well you could buy it from the store too, but the point is that you could put this meal which takes a long time to cook, in the microwave, but because you want to go out for the day to do some last minute shopping for Hannukkah, you use the slow cooker instead of the microwave. Oh and you can't go to the store and buy the premade meal because they don't have it in kosher.

And you don't want to ...well I don't want to knit myself a sweeter... or a t-shirt, so I go out and buy one. I could take my bike to the mall, but the bus ...okay well let's just say the bus would be faster. If I had a car I'd rather take the car because the car is faster than my bike. Just like if I'm traveling, I'd rather take a car rather than the bus, but I'd rather take the plane rather than my car.

As a society, we don't always see the value in taking time in doing something. If only we had waited... well I suppose the same sentence could be use for speed: "If only we had gotten there sooner..."

Too bad there wasn't some sort of device that could say whether the best course of action would be to take your time or go quickly. I can't quite come up with a situation might be used, but I'm sure it would come in handy sometime.

WOTD:

Aria - (n) an accompanied elaborate vocal solo forming part of a larger work.

Haiku:

Gentle to the touch

Soft like winter's fresh lain snow

Thick like lion's mane.

Onehundred Fiftyone

2008-12-04T16:14:00.003-06:00

The warmth of the fire ran up my spine and tickled my brain quite divinely. I stood in front of the fireplace watching it for a few moments, admiring the intricacy in the-

That's when she came in crying, her legs giving way once she saw me. I ran to her to make sure she didn't fall over completely and hit her head, and also to put my arms around her to try and console her. "Chantelle, what's wrong?" I asked, worried. She didn't look hurt physically... "Did one of those girls try something na-"

Chantelle cried out, her eyes still welling up with tears. "I can't take it anymore Kenny, I just give up. Every time I try I fail and I can't think that I'll get any better because once I feel like this is it, I'll be able to do it this time, I just end up doing worse than before! I just can't keep trying, it's too much!"

"Wait," I asked "What? Try what? What is it you can't do? I didn't know there was something you were trying to-"

"The garden!" She whined, "I can't grow a thing in that blessed garden! I tried carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, leeks and peas and beets and all sorts of other vegetables. I even thought that maybe if I tried fruit, maybe it was just the garden's way of saying it didn't like vegetables. I mean, who would have thought a garden wouldn't like vegetables?! Crazy right? But I had to try something Kenny, if it wouldn't grow vegetables for me, I was determined it would at least grow some fruit for me. I planted strawberries, raspberries, rhubarb, blueberries, black berries, goose berries, and plumbs, but would you believe that not one of those grew?! Not one! And it's just too much for me now, I can't handle this much failure, I just can't endure it any longer, I won't!"

At that point she burst into tears and I noticed how wet my shirt was getting. I was relieved it wasn't too bad of a problem... at least she wasn't being emotionally abused, that there wasn't a bully picking on her at school. I smiled, which turned into a grin and then I burst out laughing, more at my own relief than her situation but you can only guess how she took it. I'll anyone that saw an atomic bomb blow up that that explosion was nothing. The only thought that came to mind was run, so without even grabbing my shoes I burst out the front door-

And that's when I met: Tyler Durden.

Onehundred Fifty

2008-12-03T14:48:00.004-06:00

Woah man, is this really #150? I always thought that was some sort of mythical legend or legendary myth! Never thought it would come to ol' Multipurpose Exposition. So what shall I do for this onehundred fiftieth bloggin'? I don't know, I'm not really prepared, I just didn't see this coming.

Write up part of some kind of crazy story? A poem from '1ooo Years of Irish Poetry'? Lotsa haiku(s)? [I should really see what the plurral for that is] Oh man, like 150 haiku(s)? Or 150 lines of poetry/story?

Or maybe it should be something important and motivational, like how it pays off if you're persistant... but I um... haven't been paid off yet. Or have I? Has this blog changed someone's life and they just haven't told me yet? Or um... is the cheque in the mail? Maybe just a 150 word long blog. Yeah...

Onehundred Fourtynine

2008-12-02T20:45:00.003-06:00

It's interesting... or it would be if I knew, how many people devote their lives to climbing a mountain. No, I don't mean a metaphorical mountain like the mountain of homework or paperwork you have to "tackle" before the weekend. Or like, the mountain of macaroni and cheese you ate for supper. Oh... the mountain of meat you have for the BB-Q ~drool~ I'm just going to think about that for a bit.

Oh man, that would be sweet. Go out, have a BB-Q with your friends and they've all bought meat and it's your job to cook it up... oh yeah... Just the thought of the smell of it... dang that's something I'm missing right now. Just a big juicy steak that's nicely marinated and just dripping with cowey goodness. Or a nice big juicy pork chop... oh yeah, all ready to be covered with apple sauce, just cook 'er up and she's ready to go. Oh yeah baby, I'm right there with you. And that smell, that gorgeous smell of onions cooking in the frying pan in the kitchen, unless you gots a fancy BB-Q that you could fry 'em up right there. Oh baby, I hope I have a dream that I'm BB-Qing and you can just smell it and-

Dang, I should get to bed before these images go away. Don't worry steakey baby, I'm coming to cook you right up.

WOTD:

Civilize - (vb) 1. to raise from a primitive state to an advanced and ordered stage of cultural development 2. refine

Haiku:

Thick and juicy meat

Dripping with marrination

Grill over fire.

Onehundred Fourtyeight

2008-12-01T21:46:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow they're calling for snow but wouldn't say how much. Um, do they ever? It seemed to me that they've said in the past whether or not we'd get a lot or a little snow, so as you could expect what driving conditions might be. Now I don't know what to do Mr. Weatherman. I guess that means shoveling snow tomorrow, not that I have much ground to cover. That's one thing I don't miss from my old house, having to shovel the driveway and also the sidewalk. Now there's just a small driveway and that's it. Well I also shovel the neighbor's snow, just because it's hardly anything and I'm young and spry.

So then, worst and best things about winter are as follows:

The Worst

- can get really fricken cold

- when snow melts but not completely, ice forms and kills puppies and kittens. Probably. Also I skinned my knee because of snow already.

- probably other things

- pigeons

The Best

- snowball fights

- tobogganing

- the beauty of undisturbed snow

- snowflakes, but like... big ones

- broomball

- mittens and scarves and toque's oh my!

- probably other things

- not pigeons

Right, so there it is: my list of 2008's premium um... winter discounts?

I'm hoping but also doubting that we'll get a big dump of snow tomorrow. Do you think it will finally come? Will winter remember who it once was? Only time will tell, my friends. ...Um, you can't see it but I just ...what do you call that action? When a job's done, you kind of clap/brush your hands against each other, as if you're getting the dust off them. You know: "That job's finished" `clap dust off hands`

WOTD:

Einsteinuim - (n) an artificially produced radioactive element

Oh... I was hoping for some kind of ...crystal they found in Einstein's scull or somesuch.

Haiku:

Sliding across ice

Right into fluffy snowbank

Watch out for yellow.

Onehundred Fourtyseven

2008-11-30T14:40:00.002-06:00

"If eggnog wasn't so delicious, would people just revert back to rum?" asked Henry. "No," replied James. "I think they would go to chocolate milk, or perhaps they would instead go to wine. After all, chocolate milk isn't really a celebratory drink and perhaps seen more for kids." Henry thought it over a little, holding his chin with his left hand. "Tell me James, why do people need a celebratory drink? Isn't the fact that it's Christmas reason enough to celebrate?" inquired Henry. "Well yes it is, Henry. But you see," answered James "People enjoy celebrating holidays with food and drink, hence the turkey dinner. And what would turkey be without something to wash it down with?"

"But I like turkey just the way it is. I think Nanna puts in just the right amount of stuffing, and the cranberries do compliment it nicely. And let's not forget the gravy." said Henry. "Mmmmmm" Both boys said as one. And so, the boys continued to sit and think of the meal to come, the meal of Christmas. They were looking out the round window from their room, down at the kids playing football in the field across the street and to the right. They had been sent there because of a disagreement they had with their father about-

Just then there was a rap on the door. "Henry, James? Are you too still sore?" It was mother, come to look up after the boys. They were supposed to be working on their mathematics but instead she found them staring out the window like a couple of ...well a couple of boys wanting to be out on a day so nice as this one. It was late September and the weather was, as was the common thought, quickly running out of warmth. It would be a shame to waste such a day indoors, but such was the punishment for-

"Mary? Do you think we could talk a moment?" called father. His tone meant now and his face was losing patience. He did not want the mother of his children giving in to sad faces, and because of what the boys had done, did not want them to see a pleasant face for a good long while.

Onehundred Fortysix

2008-11-29T16:27:00.002-06:00

Sitting in the warmth of the sun, in her favorite rocking chair by the east window, she was reading the latest book by her favorite author. She was stuck on the last chapter, or rather the first sentence because if began to read that would either bring about a sad ending or a rather cursed cliff hanger. It seemed to her that there was no way the author could end such drama in one last chapter, and yet it seemed unlike the author to do this to his readers. Perhaps the author was wanting to try and start a series for the first time, as all his previous books were all beginning, middle, and end stories, maybe this was his first attempt in continuity.

If this was such an attempt, she didn't like it one bit. This sort of ending was no sort of way to treat your loyal readers. She didn't know which was worse: a cliff hanger or a sad ending. The story has been so good up until the previous chapter, or rather the last two paragraphs of the previous chapter. When she turned the page that was when she realized she was on the last chapter of the book. It didn't seem possible at first, she flipped the pages but no other chapters were ready and waiting. She went to the table of contents and saw that chapter 30 was in fact the last chapter.

What a cruel way to bring such a wonderful story to an end, whether that was a brief ending only to be continued or it was a definite ending was yet to be seen... and who did he think he was, ending a book in such a way?! How dar- ! She slammed the book shut, as if it has been a door in the author's face. There was no way she could go on now and perhaps ending before the worst should happen would be the best way to remember the story. Yes, that's what she'd do. Just leave the book locked away in the attic and come up with a better ending. Then she would write a letter to the author and tell him how she felt.

She got up to fetch a pen and paper... but the book was still in her hand and she was still sitting in the chair. The chapter had a bit of length to it, perhaps a hero comes and saves the day at the last moment. Perhaps there's still hope left, still a chance for a good ending. She had quiet enjoyed the author's previous works, he hadn't let her down before ...yet.

Onehundred Fourtyfive

2008-11-28T11:32:00.004-06:00

You know what I like about bunnyhugs? They're warm and fuzzy and comfortable, but best of all they have pockets. You know what I like about pocketed shirts? Uh, well... neither do I but I like them.

I was thinking about getting an iPod yesterday when it suddenly occurred to me:

Okay well maybe it didn't.

What I'm trying to do here is start out with fact and then make a story out of it, but I want the story to be believable and not something that you could just say I'm making up. Sigh. Right now though, those creative juices just aren't flowing enough. I could make something up all fantastical, but I want a dose of realism this morning. I blame Special K, it was deceptively delicious because it also has strawberries in it. And now I can't think of a good enough makeupance.

I'ma go to the library now.

WOTD:

Makeupance - (n) a made up instance, a story that did not occur but could have.

Haiku:

Frost forming on roof

Sunshine makes it glisten bright

Sparkles of rainbow.

Onehundred Fortyfour

2008-11-27T21:59:00.002-06:00

I don't know which is worse, but I do know what tops both: saying you'll do something but not doing it.

That's why I resolve not to make any new year's resolutions. I know the idea is self-improvement but I don't think that happens too often, and really I can't remember any of my past resolutions to know if I've kept them. Also I have such a bad memory that I don't know if I could trust myself to remember the whole year long and more what it was I resolving to do or not do.

Yeah, I have a white board in my room right where I could see what it says and that would be my reminder, but that white board also tells me to "oil my bike" and "use Google Earth" but I keep not doing those things. Not because I don't want to, other wise it would be "don't oil bike" and "remove Google Earth". I just find myself spending time doing something else or I forget about them or don't feel like it when I do remember.

Okay well, time to sleep. I keep missing out on some good sleeping because of my being used to a 5am wake up call, but not anymore! Except that I still wake up before 7am now. Which my alarm is set for 7:27am.

Sigh. I'ma skip the WOTD.

Haiku:

Open pasture gate

Sheep come flocking to green grass

Forgot what they had.

Onehundred Fortythree

2008-11-26T21:04:00.003-06:00

Inconsiderateness.

I tell ya, it's not just the bus riders that get me, it's anyone who is consistently inconsiderate; when it involves the bus or some other type place where being considerate of others should be obvious, that's like the lowest of the low.

As far as I knew it was common knowledge, once you became of age to ride a city bus, that you don't sit in the very front of the bus because those seats are reserved for the elderly and mothers with strollers. Maybe that sort of thing just isn't taught anymore, for some reason, but people just don't abide by those rules anymore. I could see if the bus was filling up and it's a time in the morning or evening when there just wouldn't be any elderly or mothers with strollers and there's no other place to stand or sit but the front of the bus, then you sit down in those seats as to make more room for standing.

But when the front of the bus is the first seat you take, especially when you're in an area known to have many bus-riding elderly, you just don't take those seats. Especially if there's an elderly person right behind you! Man, courtesy is going right out the window these days. And those people at the back of the bus who sit in a two-seater ...seat, but they take the isle seat and leave their backpack or bag of some sort (or some don't even do that) on the window seat, those people are usually the worst because usually they don't move their royal hindquarters so that someone else might sit down, those people are the worst.

Man, you should just be able to download knowledge straight into your brain, like in the Matrix. That way, I'd be able to know how to drive without having to take these stupid tests and I'd be able to drive some kind of fuel efficient car or better yet I'd be able to drive a helicopter and I'd fly around for the army or better yet, a jet plane and fly my friends around to wherever they wanted to go.

Sigh.

WOTD:

Wagonette - (n) a light wagon with two facing seats along the sides behind a cross seat in front.

Haiku:

Face down on the cloud

Looking down upon the earth

Throw down your lightning.

Onehundred Fortytwo

2008-11-25T21:37:00.002-06:00

Today

Only from day to day
The life of a wise man runs;
What matter if seasons far away
Have gloom or have double suns?
To climb the unreal path,
We stray from the roadway here;
We swim the rivers of wrath and tunnel the hills of fear.
Our feet on the torrent's brink,
Our eyes on the cloud afar,
We fear the things we think,
Instead of the things that are.
Like a tide our work should rise,
Each later wave the best;
"To-day is a king in disguise,"
To-day is the special test.
Like a sawyer's work is life-
The present makes the flaw,
And the only field for strife
Is the inch before the saw.

John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890)

Onehundred Fortyone

2008-11-24T22:00:00.003-06:00

Luck.

I don't know if I believe in luck, or if it really is "luck" and not happenstance or coincidence or fate or destiny (is that different from fate?), but I do know this: Sometimes I do feel lucky. Punk.

If good fortune is the definition of luck... well what does that say about fortune cookies? I ask this because nowadays you can find your "fortune" underneath the bottle cap of a Jones, it's a by-product of business. So then, back in the day (14th C.) when they were called "moon cakes", people took this stuff seriously because it was more like passing along a secret message but then it slowly changed over to what we know as fortune cookies today.

I think what I'm looking to know is whether or not people are living out their lives based on their luck. Even before I finished typing that sentence I knew the answer, but I wonder if that's more superstition than luck, so then is superstition part of luck? I suppose it would have to be. I guess for a moment I just found it hard to believe people would go about their lives seeking out luck.

I think the most I ever turn to luck as a way of life might be... I don't know, I guess if I'm going into a big exam or interview or ....something, I might say "Wish me luck". But it's not like I've said that often or believe that without that person's wishing of luck that I won't pass the test or get the job or um...

I suppose that I am part Irish and so I maybe should believe a little more in luck... but then I suppose I'd have to feel more lucky to really believe in luck. Maybe it's the lack of luck in my life that makes me not believe in it. I might say that if someone avoids a crash, then I might call it luck, but I think that's more of a phrase for me: "Wow, that was lucky". I don't believe that I mean it, as if the thought of "That person must have a lucky rabbit's foot on their key chain" goes through my head.

That being said I do tend to get a little superstitious at times, wearing my Roughrider shirt on game day (not that it did much good) or maybe I'll ...um... I can't think of another example. Also, if I find a $20 on the ground, I might just call it my lucky day. I don't really consider myself all that lucky though. Or... can you be luck and accident/injury prone at the same time?

WOTD:

Jalousie - (n) a blind, window, or door with adjustable horizontal slats or louvers.

Hee hee, a jalous(ie) louver(s).

Haiku:

Fairy tale love

Always meant to be not me

Finding someone else.

Onehundred Forty

2008-11-21T16:37:00.004-06:00

The art of ordering in food.

This must be done with careful consideration as to what kinds of food are liked and disliked by all members in a party, but only the ones who will partake of any food ordered. Don't bother with those members in a party who are not going to partake as it would be a waste of time and probably money.

It is important to order food for when you are planning to eat. If food arrives long after people have become hungry, they might begin raiding your house for anything that might be consumed. This is not desired because it is assumed that since you are ordering food in the first place, it is because you do not have enough food in your house, or that you do not want to share your food with others, or that you have bad taste in food and you know it and do not want to be embarrassed by your poor taste in food. Also you want to avoid any possible chance that your friends or their friends might have a cannibalistic tendency. Such a discovery could potentially ruin a friendship and cause embarrassment.

Once you know what kind of food is desired by all or most members, it is good to know which restaurant is best for providing for your needs. It is important to know which has the best portions for your money, quality of food, promptness of service, and little to no delivery fees.

When placing the order, make sure the person taking your order from you clearly understands what it is you want, as to avoid unwanted or missed items. Much pain in the butt is avoided when what you want is what you get.

WOTD: There is no Word of the Day today, due to the lack of a dictionary. Steve.

Haiku:

Running to market

Fetching a loaf of French bread

Enjoy it with soup.

Onehundred Thirtynine

2008-11-19T20:22:00.005-06:00

Rehashing songs.

There are only so many songs on the radio, these days of... hecks, it's not even December and yet Jingle Bells and um... Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Rednosed Reindeer and um... those other songs, are coming through the speakers. I bet if you took the time to sit down and listen to all the songs on the radio that you can hear in one day, in a list of 10 songs you'll get probably 6 of those 10 will be repeats, different versions but repeats none-the-less.

Thankfully I won't be in a work environment where I'll be listening to those same songs over and over, for much longer. That's right, I got me a part time job at The Sizzler. No not really, I just grabbed that from Weird Al's Albuquerque. Let's just say it's a higher paying job and I'll be able to get a car sooner than later.

I suppose I should get in mind what kind of car I would like to purchase first, but really purchase not just pretend purchase. The kind of car that I could actually afford, not the kind of car I would like to afford because I'm pretty sure they stopped taking "I'll be your best friend" as payment. I think I'll start with my first car as a Taco Truck, that way it'll help pay for itself.

WOTD:

Valance - (n) 1. drapery hanging from an edge (as of an alter, table, or bed) 2. a drapery or a decorative frame across the top of a window

Haiku:

Feeling along wall

Light switch hiding from my reach

Darkness swallows me.

Onehundred Thirtyeight

2008-11-18T20:32:00.003-06:00

I guess you could say she was wrong the whole time. I had a hunch about that from the beginning, you see, I've had a thing about knowing whether someone is right or wrong, it's something I can sense. It all started back in grade 1 when...

You know what I like about nervous people? They're easy to pick on. This is especially fun when you know you can get away with it. I don't mean pick on as in "bully" I mean pick on as in "tease". Say someone has a delicate ...um... no, let's say they have a favorite pen and they're nervous about you dropping it. Well it's a pen and you know you won't drop it, partly because it's a pen and you've held one for most of your life

...although that might just change one of these years. You people and your laptops...

Okay well back to the pen. So you know you won't drop it because it's a pen and also you know it's precious to the person so you're being careful, but you just can't help but to fake dropping it. I know you're probably not supposed to find something like that funny, but I just can't help but laugh when someone freaks out over little things. I suppose they say it's the little things that get you, or make life worth living, or make the world go round... but it's also the little things that make me go "ha!".

Yeah, yeah.. simple minds.

I guess the breaking point between picking on and bullying is dependent upon how often the act is committed. The art of it is knowing just how far you can go, and staying just behind that line. Most of the time you stay away from that line, but it's fun to go up to it every now and again. The trouble about it is that sometimes that line, if you go up to it often enough, can get wider. So the real trick is knowing how many times you can approach the line. Probably.

There's yet another problem. There are only so many times a person can have their line crossed, but you don't know if that person's number is more than once until you hit that once. And you don't know where that line is until you've crossed it. So then, if it is only once, you have to know the person in order to know if they can handle that once and you'll still be friends afterwords. If they can't well... I guess it's best to stay away from toying with their nervousness.

WOTD:

Hertz - (n) a unit of frequency equal to one cycle per second

Haiku:

Wind blowing rope bridge

Gently swaying to and fro

Want to get across.

Onehundred Thirtyseven

2008-11-17T19:22:00.004-06:00

Okay, here's something about which I am not sure if I like it or not. News puns.

Whenever a news story is brought up in the news, it seems to happen especially on tv, or rather I don't read the newspaper too much so I guess I can't say, but I'm sure it happens quite often in the paper as well; a pun will always be delivered with the headline. It seems to have come to be something I have grown used to, or that it's something I've come to ignore.

No, I've decided that I don't like it, for the most part. I would like it if they were being clever, but I'm pretty sure also that there are only so many times you can be clever with a pun. I don't like that puns are used all too often in a headline or a transition (from one news anchor to another) and I don't like how obvious the pun can be.

I was going to give an example but I don't want to give anyone any ideas or to further promote the use of puns. I don't even get a smirk from news puns anymore. It's more like a sneer.

And that's all I have to say about that. Now it's time for something completely different.

WOTD:

Zouave - (n) a member of a French infantry unit orig. composed of Algerians wearing a brilliant uniform and conducting a quick spirited drill; also: a member of a military unit modeled on the Zouaves.

Haiku:

Fruit basket of love

Filled from my heart's over-flow

Found in back alley.

Onehundred Thirtysix

2008-11-16T20:37:00.003-06:00

Vision.

I don't mean eye sight, I mean planning and the future. It seems that for the most part, since society became quite individualistic, taking over the family business or trade, is becoming more and more a thing of the past. It still exists mind you, probably very much so in some parts of the world, and depending on the stability in the life of one's parents. Neither the falling away nor the continuation of a business or trade seem to be constant, especially with the state of the market in North America these days.

There are families in which the same career has been passed down from father to son (and mother to daughter) for many generations, perhaps even since the creation of the trade or business, and that's something that I would like in my own life. At least there is stability in it (again depending on the market in some cases) and there is also a bonding.

I think that for the most part the son always thinks that he will never be as good as his father, and that is how it has always been (or at least that is how I've seen it portrayed in stories, whether film or novel). Maybe such a thing has been romanticized in stories, but I don't believe that to be completely true. I think that if my father would have grown up with a trade and had passed it down to me, I might have a bit more ...confidence. As it is I have grown up with no passed on skill or ability, and unless I develop one of my own I have nothing to pass on to my children. Well that is of course assuming that some lovely lady out there would ever consider myself as husband material.

I suppose if I were to look at my life right now and say "This is what I have to offer" it would be my passion for creativity. I know that creative juices more come from the individual, but perhaps my children would be inspired by my work, or at least my enjoyment of the works I create.

I think part of the problem is that I've been told that I can achieve what I put my mind to, but not shown how to keep my mind on something. Sigh. I guess I can only wait and see where life takes me. Perhaps that is also part of the problem, I'm always waiting for that "final step" but I don't think you ever really reach it.

Okay, so here's the WOTD:

Whilom - (adv) archaic: formerly

I guess as an example it would be "His whilom house" or "Her whilom friends" or "My whilom vacation spot".

Haiku:

Sitting in the shade

Provided by the maple

Dreaming of Batman.

Onehundred Thirtyfive

2008-11-15T20:34:00.002-06:00

I don't know what it is about leftover pizza, but it sure tastes good the second-go-round. And it doesn't even have to be warmed up, I'll eats it right out of the fridge. If you do like to heat it up, check and see if the crust underneath is soggy first, if it is then the best way to heat it up is on a frying pan because that leaves the pizza nice and crisp.

So I watched Quantum of Solace today and I've got to say that I like this new style of Bond. He's nice and rugged and not so perfect and he's very ...not cheesy. I know that there are some people in this world that say the original Casino Royal was nice and cheesy and funny and the way Bond was meant to be and etc... but I don't like that in my Bond, thanks. I prefer the rough and tough spy-type who knows how to get the job done, he knows who's side he's on and won't ever change that, and he also knows how to have a good time in the art of kicking evil right in the shins.

Don't get me wrong here, I have sen all the Bond movies to date and I quite enjoy the older ones, I'm meerly stating that I like this bit of a new direction they're taking with Bond. This is more giving my approval than anything else.

Hey, I just got a good idea for marketing for 7-Eleven. They should have James Bond slurpee cups. 7-Eleven has done cups for movies and video games of all sorts, and what better way to promote drinking... slurpees, than having ...well I suppose if I were to say something like 'a man who can really drink a lot' that could be taking the wrong way, as to promote alcoholism, and that's not good for kids. But some would say that James Bond is not good for kids either... my point is that I want a slurpee cup shaped like a martini glass and a straw with 007 looping. And you said you'd bake us a cake!

WOTD:

Confluence - (n) 1. a coming together at one point 2. the meeting or place of meeting of two or more streams

Haiku:

A little steam boat
Floating along the river
Fleeing cannibals.

Onehundred Thirtyfour

2008-11-14T22:09:00.003-06:00

I suppose you can say that winter is here now... kinda late, and I don't know if I mind that as much as I maybe should or shouldn't but uh...
As much as it seems winter is here, it really just doesn't feel like it. I suppose I was expecting a foot of snow already, and since there's not, does that prove global warming? I hope it doesn't because I don't want our planet to be ...warm. I don't want winter to be a fading memory, as if one morning you'll wake up, turn to your wife/husband/dog/cat/fish/bird/pillow and say "Hey, remember back in the day there was that white stuff on the ground? Made everything look pretty and I remember something about ...what's that word? You know, when it used to be not warm? No, I don't mean hot... cause it still gets hot. I mean when it's neither hot nor warm it's... um, I think it rhymed with something."

Do you think it'll ever come to that? I suppose that is easy to imagine if you live in a place where it has never snowed before. I guess I just don't want "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" to become reality. Not that I'll miss the cold of winter, but I'll miss the snow. I likes my snow- peoples, angels, ball fights, and fields.

Sigh.

WOTD:

Impulse - (n) 1. a force that starts a body into motion; also: the motion produced by such a force 2. an arousing of the mind and spirit to some usu. unpremeditated action 3. nerve impulse

Haiku:

Windmill of my heart

Waiting for a gust to come

Break this motionless.

Onehundred Thirtythree

2008-11-13T18:53:00.004-06:00

I'm not too sure I like the whole 'opposites attract' law, or rule, or ...system. Whatever you want to call it, I'm not too sure I like that idea for me, especially if you were to take it literally.

I'm sure girls who are the opposite of me are ...facinating to somebody and ...lovable, but is that girl for me? Oh wait, I should back up a bit and say that I don't mean she'd have to be opposite to me in every little detail, I mostly mean personality and behavior wise. Also I don't mean opposite in every situation (like being sad instead of happy or shouting instead of being quiet), although I do wonder if attraction to such a person would be possible and it might make for interesting, but uh... I don't think that's for me. Isn't that right Smithy.

Alright, I accept the challange. If you can find the girl most opposite of me... to me... I will date her. Ten bucks? Anybody? Don't tell her about any of this, cause most likely she'd be ...bored? about technology and the communication therein. Oh man... do you think there is a girl out there that's the opposite of me, like completely? Probably. Do you think such a girl would put up with me, the opposite of herself? I suppose she wouldn't want to date me... cause she'd be the opposite and um, since I'm up for it, it's most likely she's not.

Okay but seriously, I wonder how often those opposite relationships last. Man those zombies...

WOTD:

Gherkin - (n) 1. a small prickly fruit of a vine related to the cucumber used to make pickles 2. an immature cucumber

Huh. I always thought a gherkin was some kind of clothing. Weird.

Haiku:

Chainsaw replace hand

Holding a smoking shotgun

Watch the cabin floor.

Onehundred Thirtytwo

2008-11-12T21:21:00.003-06:00

I wonder if Hitler would support "green" cars. I'm just saying, he won over the Germans with cars and electricity and that sort of thing, if he had come in today's world, would he have been giving them "green" cars? You would think that he would just give whatever society was demanding... so the answer would be yes.

The reason I bring up Hitler is mostly because I'm watching Band of Brothers, and I um... well he was the first to come to mind that would give out cars. The second would be Oprah, but I thought Hitler would be more provoking to thought because of what he stood for and yet here's a picture of him giving out Eco-friendly cars. Just a bit more ironic than Oprah.

What made me think of any of this was the fact that I rode the bus. Whilst riding I saw this advertisement on the bus that said something like "You're part of making the world green" or to that effect. So I thought: "You know, there are a few things that I do which would be considered "green". I take the bus or ride my bike as a main mode of transportation, I recycle, I don't subscribe to the newspaper (saving trees), I stay away from um... styrofoam plates and cups, ...I had a few more things on the list but am tired and unable to remember. The point is that I live a fairly "green" life. And I'm sure there are lots of other things I could be doing that a "green activist" might shout at me through a megaphone, but um... oh right, at least I'm doing something. See? Tired.

WOTD:

Aria - (n) an accompanied elaborate vocal solo forming part of a larger work

Haiku:

Gallantly I fly

Encompassing the system

Mainframe's protector.