Onehundred Fiftyseven

Secrets.

Everyone's got them, no matter how big or small, how many or few, how juicy or dry, or if they are forever remembered or forgotten quickly. There's always going to be something in our lives that we'd rather remain hidden.

For example: the caveman who invented the spear. He was a hunter of course, but I bet that he was too scared to wrestle the saber-toothed tigers like all the others, so he invented a way in which he could keep a safe distance away from the tigers. He said that it was more efficient and productive than going mano-eh-tigro, but really he was hiding the fact that he was afraid.

Also an example for the longest time, and perhaps for them they still convince themselves it's true: the tobaco companies. Since the invention of the cigarette, those who have made them have sold them as a good thing. "The smooth, cool taste of a cigarette is what gets me through my day" or something to that effect. There were big competitions, and continue to be, in which company had the cigarettes that were better than all the rest. Then the idea of cigarettes being unhealthy came along, and cigarette companies have been trying to convince the puplic otherwise. It's not the cigarette that kills, cigarettes are not addictive, we didn't know that...

Perhaps you prefere the secrets kept by the government, or the thought that there are secrets being kept. Area 51 is a popular example, so is brain/mind control, or that the government is secretly watching us all, our every move and conversation being recorded.

To think that every keystroke I make is being recorded somewhere... I suppose that if I were to**SYNTAX ERROR**

Onehundred Fiftysix

Whilst traipsing through the forest I, James H. Farnsworth, came upon a curious little nook. I had been studying a curious little frog when I came upon the nook. Little did I then realise how it would indeed change my life, nay, the very way I viewed the world itself! How could I have? It was an innocent looking nook and at the very most I thought I might find some artifact buried beneath a layer of earth, at the least I thought it was a charming part of the forest. I would never have guessed what lay in store.

It was a sunday, around 10 o'clock in the morning, business as usual for myself, provided the weather was inviting. There wasn't much of a breeze, not that it truly mattered in the forest, which was a little north of the West Estate, and I had come across a lovely path that ran through it, leading towards Pantonburry. It was not so much a short cut as it was a means of escape.

The forest, you see, was not something people traveled through, if one could help it, at least not anymore. At first the forest was an excellent source for wild game, known only to a few. Eventually word got out about the location, but not because of the forest. It just so happened the the hills and country side surrounding the forest was a prime location for coal, diamond, and once in a blue moon: rare gems. This discovery was one by none other than Lucas Panton, the legendary man himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Onehundred Fiftyfive

I was thinking about some of the things I enjoyed in my childhood, and one thing that always makes me laugh is how I enjoyed sneaking up on my sister. Sometimes I would hide around the corner and wait for her. Eventually it got to the point that she'd yell something like "I know you're around the corner" and I would be but she wouldn't know which one so I'd still get to scare her. But sometimes I wouldn't be around the corner when she'd say that and then she'd get to the corner and yell out for me to reveal where I was. Sometimes I'd be in my room doing my own thing, but sometimes I'd be in her room, but I don't remember that it was often. Most times I'd be in my room or some other location in the house.

I can still see the layout of that old house, in my head. I can tell you were every room is, and I could probably talk you through that place step by step. Not that I know if the current owners have changed it at all, but I bet I could tell them exactly how it used to be if they did. I wouldn't even have to go inside the house.

I've always liked to give my sister, and anyone else, a good scare, but I haven't done so recently. Or rather, now it's more scaring them in a different creepy way. But uh... that's another story. Probably.

WOTD:

Vicuna - (n) 1. a South American wild mammal related to the llama and alpaca; also: its wool 2. a soft fabric woven from the wool of the vicuna; also: a sheep's wool imitation of this

Haiku:

Softly tread forest

Watch out for leaves underfoot

Cliche twig snapping.

Onehundred Fiftyfour

I think I'd rather have a Coke than... (not that Coke is a bad thing, by far)

- eating gross corn or baked potato

- go to school

- go to work

- slip on ice

- get hurt

- touch a Pep**

- listen to bad music

- watch A New World

- a bloody nose

- fight a bear

- listen to politics

- get sand in my mouth

- get lost

- kiss a camel

- drop a sandwich

- lose my wallet

But I would never ...insert joke...

I don't know a good line. I was hoping I'd have one by now. If you don't mind, I'm just going to leave you with the WOTD and a haiku.

WOTD:

Pother - (n) a noisy disturbance; also: fuss

Haiku:

Skating under stars

Moonlight shining down upons

Lovers hand in hand.

Onehundred Fiftythree

Here's a funny prank, for those of you looking for one. Also it doesn't involve any illegal activity, so it's safe and fun for the whole family.

First you go to the closest recycling bins. Oh well first maybe you should get a box, a big empty box. Then you go to the bins and you take out some flyrs. Okay, a lot of fliers. If you're lucky you can find the papers that they keep the flyrs in when they deliver them to the door, the point of that being to make it look professional.

Next you bundle up the flyrs as best you can, again going for a professional look.

Wait... I guess the very first step is to map out where you'll go ...but I just was explaining the prank first. But to save on gas you should map it out first, but then you're using gas to map it out... Hmmm.

So first you map out your trip, then you get a box, then you go to the bins, then bundle (string works too but that's a little suspicious, at least because they don't use string to deliver these babies, I just thought if you've got string lying around for nothing, well here's your something to use it up in).

By now you might be thinking: "Dave, I've got it all bundled and ready to go, what the heck do you have me doing here? You trying to start your own flyer delivery service?" No, I'm pulling a prank here, remember?

So what'chya gotta do is go around to all those houses that have "No Flyers" signs, and you deliver them flyers! This way you get to rub it in their faces but you don't get fired because you're not working for your local paper. This prank is more for when you're in the mood to stick it to the Man because, when you deliver these flyers, and it helps if you can do it for a week, is that these "No Flyers" people get upset and phone the paper, and it's such a city wide problem because you've gone throughout the city so it's not just one paper boy's fault. Or maybe the NF people get upset at their neighbors because they think their neighbors did it, but when it's happened city wide for a week, people begin to think what's going on and maybe it makes the news and that's when you tell them it was Crazy Eddy or something, or maybe the name of a known con man, so you-

Well maybe some of the results are varied and whatever, but the point is that um... you get to stick it to the Man? Oh uh... if the Man is reading my blog... I got this idea from my sister. Yeah. That's it, that's what'll fool 'em. Now it's time for icecream and lollipops...