Sixtysecond

Rain. Why is it that rain makes a day not so nice? I would have gone out today if it hadn't looked like it was going to rain any minute. It didn't rain, but I still didn't go out because it looked like it might.

Sigh.

Humans love water for the most part, hecks, our body is 80% water or so they say. We go swimming in the lake, and in short of a lake we dig out our own hole, fill them with water and call them pools. We love water in big portions or when it's expected or rather when it's wanted and planned for. But once there's little bits of it falling from the sky or coming out of a bucket at us, we don't appreciate it.

There is clothing made specifically to keep the water off us, we ever made umbrellas (which is one of my favorite words) to keep the water away. My favorite is the people who go to the beach for a tan, but don't want to get wet. You're right beside a big body of water and yet you complain if you get wet! You're even dressed down for the occasion of being beside this body of water, yet if some one were to splash you, you'd get all upset.

It is because of a couple reasons, and one of them is that these people go to the beach without the intention of getting wet. Another reason is because the beach is really the only acceptable place to wear a bikini in public. Or well... not that I wear a bikini when I go to the beach... I uh... no! You shut up!

Let's just move on to the WOTD:

Supple - 1. compliant, adaptable 2. capable of bending without breaking or creasing: limber syn resilient, elastic, flexible

Today's haiku has been brought to you by MC Hammer... probably:

Dance to the rhythm

Rhyme not just to fill the time

You can't stop the beat.

Sixtyfirst

When communicating to protect the President of the US, I wonder if the Secret Service talks into their collars or the sleeves of their suits or something like that. They do so in the movies and tv shows all the time, is that really how it's done?

Whenever I see a show like The Sentinel, or The West Wing, or whatever else there is about presidential assassination, the behavior of the secret service doesn't seem as subtle as it could be or maybe how it actually is. Unless of course that's how it actually is. It's just that if I were President or whatever, I'd want my Secret Service to act more like an undercover cop.

But then I guess if they were dressed in civilian clothes and acted like civilians, it'd be hard to tell people apart. Well okay... it's just that if I were a sniper or someone like that, it'd be fairly obvious who my targets are. Maybe there is another squad dressed as civilians, I've seen that in movies, but then they always seem to act in an obvious manner. It's just that you can't spot them until they're on the move or getting in action as a unit. Kinda like the Bourne Identity movies.

At any rate, working in the Secret Service... oh wait, they're the Special Service aren't they? O'ho ho ho! Oh, nope. It's Secret. Is there a Special? Probably. Right well, it's a tough job and someone's got to do it. I wonder how many successful presidential assassinations there have been. OH! Is this blog going to be flagged now? That would be cool.

Okay so for today's WOTD we turn to the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. My faithful friend.

Volcano - (n) an opening in the earth's crust from which molten rock and steam issue; also: a hill or mountain composed of the ejected material

Here now is today's haiku:

Charismatic grin

Stories ready to be told

Eyes full of laughter

Sixtieth

It's like a got a couple o' months over here. Maybe there are a couple more to be made to make up for that 31st day but you just wait and see my friend, you just bet your grandma's secret cupcake recipe that I can't and you'll find out what's what. The ol' caboose. Bright and shiny.

Okay so besides that, don't you wish there was some kind of portal you could open and just stuff the annoying people in there? Not that they'd starve to death or die from anything in it, just that they'd be out of your face. Or like, when you want to go somewhere quiet and little Mrs. So-and-so brings her kids with her and her kids like to scream and cry and shout and you just want to take the kids and stuff them in the portal. They'll have fun in there cause it's full of things you can break or whatever and then the kids are out of your hair.

Finally, some quiet.

But then that portal doesn't exist and you'll, still stuck with the noise. Oh, especially Mr.Careless who has their cell phone going on in the movie theater or at the nice quiet restaurant.

Man! Where's that portal when you need it? Or maybe it's a gateway into ...somewhere else not by you. Just send them to Regina or something. That'll learn 'em.

It's just that I thought it was a well known fact that the library was meant to be a quiet place. Isn't that why the stereotype of the stern old lady shushing people all the time, came from? But no, people are thoughtless and careless, so they leave their cell phones on and bring their whiny, screamy kids and the librarian doesn't seem to do anything about it.

Sigh.

I guess it's water under the bridge now. Probably. That's why I'm not getting married with children. Sorry ladies, I'm not for sale.

Now before you start crying and getting all weepy, here's the WOTD:

Obfuscate - (vb) 1. to make dark or obscure 2. confuse

That's fun to say. You know what else is fun to say? My haiku of the day!

Women everywhere

Filling jars with many tears

Comfort is no where.

Fiftynineth

Come on everybody, gather around your dear sweet paps and listen to the story he's got to share ...for the third time today.

It's not the third time today you old coot, besides this is a different story. This is about the time I met Don Gordon. He had just finished filming Bullitt, with Steve McQueen, and was on his way to meet up with Bek Nelson. As you may recall, they liked to go for an ice cream sunday down at the local parlor down on the corner. Well I was at that parlor when they came in.

Now I had first seen the couple when they had been shooting The Lollipop Cover, three years before. Back then they were more into each other than the ice cream, but not that they still weren't playing kissy face.

Young people and their kissy face! Back in my day it was handy hold and that's it! You went anywhere past the wrist except to save her from falling (because she would be too busy swooning over me instead of keeping her balance) then you were called a Smooth Talkin' Sam. Back in my day you behaved yourself and you didn't play no kissy face!

And another thing, what do they think they're doing to oatmeal, putting raisins in it! Back in my day, if you wanted raisins in your oatmeal you had to grow your own grape vine, or sneak some from the Welshe's if you were too poor. But if you were too poor then what were you doin' with oatmeal? I suppose you could've stolen that too. The point is, you had to grow and dry the grapes yourself if you wanted raisins in your oatmeal. I suppose next they're going to start putting cinimon or brown sugar in there as well.

Bah! I'm going to have a nap. You're lucky I went to war so we could take naps! You youngsters and your music! And that's another thing, dancing! Back in my day dancing was only if...

Fiftyeighth

Standardlessness. What I mean by this is that there isn't enough of a standard on how much money items should be worth, whether it be food, clothing, furniture, or etc...

What do you mean Dave, this place's prices are pretty close to that place's prices.

Ha! That's just because of competition. Places mostly keep their prices set based on the competition. They might have bulk of that item, so they can afford to lower the prices a bit, or they may have a slightly higher quality of the item so they "can" raise the price a little, but mainly stores want to stay just a little bit ahead of the competition.

What I want is that the um... not competition says "beef of this quality is worth this much", "vegetables of this quality are worth this much", "shirts of this material and the quality of each material is worth this much". Basically just match the price to the quality of the product and I'm happy.

But no, we've got to change the prices based on who's name is on it and what class the product is geared towards. Is that the way it should be? You can afford to pay this much (or rather, we convinced you that you can afford this because you want to be cool and if you're going to be cool you have to have this and the only way you can have this is if you pay so much for it) or the guy who made children make the product thinks his product is far superior to the competition and is deciding to charge too much for the product, and he can afford to because children are making it and they work for a chance to play in the mud.

Sigh.

Man, I should go into one of those corporations kicking and biting and swinging my fists and if they get in my way, I can't help it. I'll do that every day until they ...call the cops. Well I guess that would only last for one day so ...it'd have to be some kind of blackmail or sneeky clever bit that they don't notice until there's nothing they can do but shut down! Ah ha!

Okay so the WOTD is:

Anathema - (n) 1. a solemn curse 2. a person or thing accursed; also: one intensely disliked

The haiku for today is:

Blueprints for future
Pass to next generation
Build the Pez kingdom.

Fiftyseventh

If a movie is considered a grade less than other movies, does that deem it unworthy of being watched? Or maybe someone has a disfigured face, does that mean they're not good for television? Or what about the crumbs at the bottom of the cereal box, are they less of a cereal than the rest? Is something not as good just because it was the last one? Is a dirty penny less valuable than a shiny penny?

I think this is clearly a case of judging a book by its cover and I sit before you today asking each of you, who are any of us to judge the last piece of food on the shelf, or the quarter found on the floor of a washroom?

Are we ourselves not like each of these things? We have been disregarded by someone at some point in our lives just because there was something in our teeth, or our hair wasn't combed, or maybe our shirts weren't ironed. Does that mean we shouldn't get the job at a fancy type of store, or be turned down for asking someone out?

Well, obviously it does. I guess that's just the way the world is and we should all give up being second rate. I say we strive for the best, achieve 110% and push for more. Why settle for second place when first can be yours if you just fight dirty? Throw sand in some one's face, put laxatives in some one's coffee, trade urine samples, make false accusations, and learn how to lie effectively!

My work here is done!

Today's WOTD is:

Issuance - (n) the act of issuing or giving out esp. officially

And now for the haiku of the day:

Thunder rolling on

Lightning putting on a show

Rain sheets coming down.

Fiftysixth

Fire. It has fascinated man since its birth and has always been both a blessing and a curse. Without fire, man would not have many of the things we now often take for granted. We might have some of those things in different forms, or have come by them through different means, but would those things be as useful or valuable or strong?

Could metal have come about if we had not discovered the means of which to forge it? If not, we wouldn't have many inventions we not have, or perhaps in a different form. We wouldn't have cars so it would most likely be that we would have stuck with the carriage. All we'd need is wood and animal hides, or just wood. Either way you could have nails, they'd just be made of wood or stone.

I wonder though, if not for the advantage of metal, there would be some key battles that might have been lost instead of won. What might that have brought about? Perhaps countries that are high in power now wouldn't have been able to attain that power. Could Alexander the Great have come as far as he did without metal? Or perhaps, could he have been stopped? Or maybe Hitler wouldn't have had as much power has he did. It was the automobile after all that he provided for the common people that won them over. Hmm. Well, food for thought.

So the next time you go to make fun of a metal worker, maybe you should think about it first. They could be part of changing history, for good or for bad.

And now we come to the part of the show where Dave reads the WOTD:

Tableau - (n) a scene or event usu. presented on a stage by costumed participants who remain silent and motionless.

So in other words, Thursday nights at Steve's place.

Today's haiku of the day:

Grand snow capped mountains

Line the deep valley's ridges

The sea to the south.

Fiftyfifth

Snakes. We imagine them under our beds or in the grass, and we're frightened or fascinated with them because we know some are good and some are bad. The bad ones, if in a safe environment like a glass cage, we think are so cool and we'll go right up next to it. If some says they're a snake handler we'll believe them because they're wearing a uniform and when they say it's okay to pet the snake, we most often do, at least a little.

There have been movies made about snakes, often about giant boas that are so wicked and deadly, or these little guys who are so venomous that if they so much as wink at you the wrong way you're dead.

We make movies of things we're afraid of, in a way to help conquer our fear of them, but does it help or does it make our fears worse? There are probably people that fit into either category and I wonder how each person would react if they were ever to come face to face with that which they fear.

There are probably people who like the rush of facing their fears and so seek those fears out. But what happens when they run out of fears to chase after? This might not happen for a while because it would take time to conquer each fear, in fact someone might be able to go their whole lives without having run out of fears, so then would it be worth it in the end?

My guess is that you come out a better person if you face fears that are more like public speaking or committing to a relationship, rather than a fear of burnt toast or spilled milk or ruined breakfasts.

So then, snakes. Does facing a fear that might kill you improve yourself or do you just end up in a coffin six feet under with a tombstone that reads "Here lies Dave Huston. He died because he tried giving a boa constrictor a pink belly" ? Not that I'm afraid of boas, but just for example. And not that your tombstone would read "Here lies Dave Huston" if it did... well that would be sad.

Okay so here's today's WOTD:

Contretemps - (n) an inopportune or embarrassing occurrence

Today's haiku of the day:

Snow blankets my house

Permission to stay indoors

Sip hot chocolate.

Fiftyfourth

Golf. Something that used to be a rich man's sport, and men only, is now something everyone can play. It might still seem like a rich man's sport because of the members who might wish to keep it that way, but I don't think a golf course would ever turn you down as long as you could pay the fee. I guess it's really the only sport you can't just play in a public field somewhere... well you could but it would take effort to make a golf course.

One thing golf has for it, is that it is a sport for all ages. I don't think I'd call it my favorite sport, but it is a sport that I could play if someone offered.

Another thing golf has is that it's the only... well maybe there are two, golf and hockey ...and tennis, okay well it is of the few sports that have miniature versions. I think that's where you can get the rest of the public involved. If you think a golf course is too white collar, who's going to say that about mini golf? And personally, mini golf is one of my favorite activities.

The point of all this is that I want to become a member of the Soup and Sandwich Club when I'm an old man. They get together and play golf, then afterwords they eat soup and sandwiches in the club. Hecks, I'll take that any day! Doesn't matter how well you do, at least you're getting exercise and not just sitting around. Plus it doesn't matter if you remember anything, cause you're an old man and at least you're getting your exercise and having fun. Or was I having fun? Who are you? I want soup!

And now for today's WOTD:

Obsequious - (adj) humbly or excessively attentive (as to a person in authority) : fawning, sycophantic syn menial, servile, slavish. subservient

Today's haiku of the day is:

Sake in his cup

Sword faithfully at his side

Samurai Master.

Fiftythird

Do you remember when it was bad to rebel? Neither do I. I remember when it was cool to rebel, but now it's more of a fashion statement. To rebel is to be trendy, so then is that really being rebellious? I think not. I think that if you wanted to be rebellious in today's world, you'd have to um... well one of the things you could do would be to not own a cell phone or blackberry, or other communication device of the like. That's probably what it would be to rebel, be anti-technology.

I don't have a cell phone or anything like that, so that makes me a little rebellious. I suppose where this subject came from is that I wish skateboarding wasn't a fashion statement or trendy because then it would be less expensive.

I went to this one skate shop the other day and everything there cost so much more than if you got it somewhere like Walmart. I know that part of the problem is that you're paying for the brand names, but the main reason that's a problem is because the rich kids are the ones who are setting the trends, and they can afford to pay a lot for the brand names so the companies are taking advantage of this and charging too much money. There was a bunnyhug I wanted to buy and it was $120, and the pair of shorts I wanted to buy was $70. That's most of my paycheck just for a bunnyhug and a pair of shorts! And they were really sweet plaid shorts too, but I mean really sweet. Like I would have bought them if they weren't so freakin' expensive.

Sigh.

Another thing about being rebellious is attitude, but angsty kids are annoying, the rude richies are ...well rude, and the fakies are ...fake. But you can't really be happy all the time because people are too annoying, dumb, unobservant, and obnoxious. Man, it seems like you have to be some kind of... non technological, happy, polite, neatly dressed person- I guess what it means to be rebellious in this day and age is to be a Mennonite or Hutterite.

Dang.

I guess I'll just stick with being a little "trendy" for now. But at least I don't have a cell phone! That's gotta count for something. Oh, and I've never owned a video game system. Um... I listen to my mother. I still use the word mother. I guess I'm kinda half trendy, half not.

Okay well here's the WOTD:

Pennon - (n) 1. a long narrow ribbonlike flag borne on a lance 2. wing

And the haiku for the day is:

Picking raspberries

Enclaved in the dark forest

Don't take too many.

Fiftysecond

There were a couple posts I was throwing up in the air for today, one was funny and the other was more thought provoking, but neither seemed completely blog worthy.

The topic I settle on today is: media. Has it become too ingrained into out system, nay our blood, that we simply can't get enough? Whether it be online or or the television or the radio, even the cd's, dvd's and books we buy. I am defining "media" as outside influence in our lives that we would not have opinion on otherwise. Maybe that's too broad but I've already typed it out and there's no um... backspaces. Yeah, it's broken.

The fact that you're reading this blog (which I'm quite thankful of) means that you have plenty of media in your life. At least computer wise. Unless of course you only used the internets for e-mail and subsequent of e-mail is this blog because I sent you the link. And then... my blog would have to be the only follow-up from your e-mail and then you shut off the computer after that.

Now then, the question is: Is a lot of media in one's life, a bad thing? Mayhap you build your worldview off of all the media you consume (which could very well be a biased and bad thing) but let us pretend that all media is unbiased and fair and truthful. Man, that sentence is probably the biggest lie they want you to believe.

Okay so let us pretend this and let us pretend that the media one brings into one's life is useful. Oh! Another big lie! Man, these things are just unearthing their ruddy butts all-upons this blog. So then, question: Is reading the newspaper better than watching the news? Is the radio better or worse than either tv or newspaper? Well of course those country stations are worse but I'm talking about the 'news talk' type stations.

Let us also pretend you find a "reliable" news source, whatever the media, and some how they come into a bad story, aka a rumor. Gasp and horrors! "Not my reliable news source, it's the best in town and fills me with information far superior to other types!" Yeah but I said we're pretending, so relax and continue to breath in that New York Times goodness, this is all make believe. ...Well you can look up the definition of "make believe" later because you most likely shudder and cringe at the mere mention of "fiction". ... FICTION!!

Ha ha! Made you get the jibblies.

Uh... I forget where I'm truly going with this, but the point of part of this is that you've got to be careful of what you take in too much of. You most likely don't even see it as too much, which is also a great deception. Oh and don't you worry, I'm not denying that I don't hang on to the words I read in Wiki or um... other reliable news source, I'm just saying that I'm aware and you better make sure you're aware. The more awareness out there, the better. And I'm done.

Now for today's WOTD:

Wrasse - (n) any of a large family of usu. brightly colored marine fishes including many food fishes.

Uh... I suppose that means fish we eat as opposed to fish we don't eat, or food that the fish eat. Yeah... it's time for today's haiku:

I am at zero

Release the controls, prepare

The ending is soon.

Fiftyfirst

'ello, ello! What's this business about my blogs being soft then? You bloomin' blokes, I'm just getting started!

I'ma show all yall what for! I know all about the um... webstreets. And the hard blog life. Just watch yourself or this post will break you in two! You better step off!

Okay so I've got nothing. Well, and it doesn't help listening to classical music at the time. Maybe alls I've got to do is put on the hard 'n fresh beats.

Yeah, yeah I've gots you now. Look at that picture. If nothing speaks "gangsta" than that does! I bet all yall be shakin' in your Jpegs! And trabites! Or megasites. Anglo rights? EAT IT!!

That's right, I'm calling the shots now, nerd! And you said you'd bake us a cake!

Right well, on with today's WOTD:

Organza - (n) a sher dress fabric resembling organdy and usu. made of silk, rayon, or nylon.

And now onto the haiku of the day:

Laying in the grass

Counting the flowers fly by

Beautiful colors.

Fiftieth

Okay, so here I am sitting on top of 49 bloggin's and I'm wondering if I should do something to celebrate. But perhaps I'll wait until tomorrow when I can say I'm sitting atop 50 bloggin's. Or maybe I'll just wait until I hit a hundred bloggin's cause that's a more impressive number, but then I guess if I go with that theory I'd never get there. Let's just see how it goes.

Today's topic is: jam.

What happened that jam was created / invented? Was it an answer to a yearning, a response to the invention of toast? No, I think jam came before toast, well in the very least it came before toasters, so is it still toast if it didn't come from a toaster?

The question still remains: When was jam invented / created? Oh! Maybe jam came as a result of bad jelly, or rather jelly that didn't jell. Hm. So then the question remains but the subject is jelly. Either way, how did someone say "I want this fruit on my bread but in a form other than which it is currently in."? Obviously it was first eaten (or rather largely eaten) by the rich because the poor could scarcely afford bread. But still, which came first? Jam or toast? Jam or jelly?

I found a hole in wiki, they don't have history of jam, just information. Sigh. Okay, I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this but: that's the end of that topic. So then, on with the program.

Today's WOTD is:

Disingenuous - (adj) lacking in candor: also: giving a false appearance of simple frankness

Today's haiku of the day is:

Following shaddows

Waiting for one out of place

Stitch it to my feet.

Fourtynineth

It's funny, but as I sit here bloggin', I can't help but feel like there's a fat kid standing right behind me. Like she's waiting for me to say I don't want the rest of my chocolate bar.

If there was one thing you could change about computers, what would that be?

Also, when teachers asked that question, but with "school" instead of "computers" and the students gave the answer "the amount of homework" or "more recess" why'd they never listen? If the answer had been "open the windows" or "tell a joke before class" I'm sure the teachers would have complied.

Okay, onto today's real subject: restaurants. Have you ever been to a restaurant and thought "You know, I could probably just make this at home and it would be better"? Or "I could get this at another restaurant for a better price and a bigger portion" I think there should be an option of backing out of the deal, without paying for the food you didn't eat. Sometimes I go to a new restaurant thinking they'll be different, that this could be my new favorite place. But then it turns out to be the same as every where else except for their specialties. To me though, most places' specialties aren't that special, either that or their specials are more ...general. As in "Our special is steak and potatoes with salad" Yeah, like I can't get that anywhere else, as a special.

Sometimes though, you find a nice place and it's a gem in a sandy place and you're thinking, this could work, I can afford it and it tastes good. Plus the portions are generous, without being "oh man this is so big it could feed a horse for a week" big. So you like this restaurant and you recommend it to friends and family, but then one fateful night as you're going out to your car, you witness the cooks taking a smoke break in the back, only it's not your plain jane cigarette. What's that you smell? Is that pot? Yup. Okay... so the place that I like ...they cook my food when they're high? But you're not really in trouble until you realize the reason you like the food so much is because of the pink little bunnies you see floating around as you enjoy your meal. That and as soon as you finish your meal you feel like having chips or fast food.

Yeah. That's why McD*****'s makes its money and keeps its customers happy.

Today's WOTD is:

Geyser - (n) a spring that intermittently shoots up hot water and steam

Today's haiku of the day is:

Carried in basket

Fed and loved upon bunny

Bring it to Grandma.

Fourtyeighth

You'll have to read this with a bit o'an Irish accent.

The Incantation - by Amergin - translated by George Sigerson

Fain we ask Erinn,

Faring o'er ocean's

Motions to mountains,

Fountains and bowers,

Showers, rills rushing,

Gushing waves welling,

Swelling streams calling,

Falling foam-thunder,

Under lakes filling:

Willing- (abiding

Riding rounds, holding

Olden fairs meetly)-

Fleet to lift loyal

Royal king's towers,

Bowers for crowning;

Frowning foes over-

Rover Mil's warlike

Starlike sons therein.

Erinn shall longer,

Stronger, show honour,

On our Milesians.-

Wishing, in trouble,

Noble isle's wooing,

Suing, we stay here;-

Pray here to sail in,

Wailing maids royal!

Loyal chief-leaders,

Pleaders, blend pray'r in.

So we seek Erinn-

That's from a book I just aquired called "1000 Years of Irish Poetry" edited by Kathleen Hoagland. And seeing as though I have Irish blood in me, I only thought it suitable. I'll probably through one in every once in a while. And just to be clear, this is yesterday's post. I'll post today's post later.

Fourtyseventh

So, you guys got the memo that it's still Thursday today, right?

Okay, so I missed another day. Who's keeping track? Sigh, you're right ..I am. Okay but it's my blog and I say I just get my groove back on and um... swing my hips to the happy beat.

Alright, what about those people who don't like pizza? What's with that? I mean... it's pizza! I don't know what you couldn't like about a delicious pie filled with meat, cheese, vegetables, tomato sauce and ...well I guess that's all you put on a pizza. But still, how does that not come into your brain as a good thing? I don't know man... it's like those people who don't like chocolate. Can't you taste that sweetness? That wholesome love? Don't your taste buds work?

You might say "They work all too well Dave, and they're screaming for the horror to stop." To which I would say "Want a new tongue?" Alas, this is no dictatorship and I am no oppressor. I just need some ...digestibility on this subject.

And you don't like sandwiches? Man, if you're a girl out there, thinking that you'd like yourself a piece of Dave, but you don't like sandwiches and pizza and chocolate or um... meat? Then you need to get on a boat and take off, eh!

As for the rest of you people, I suppose I'm a foodist and don't like where I'm going with this. I know with my sister she doesn't like meat, or rather she doesn't eat meat where she doesn't know how it's killed. But even she would eat a veggie pizza or sandwich, and she loves chocolate.

Now for my point: It's funny how we love food so much that if someone doesn't like something, we mock them and call them um... whatever people like that are called. I'm not up with the lingo. However, there is a difference between not liking it and not trying it. I'm willing to try foods and so there.

Today's WOTD is:

Electricity - 1. a form of energy that occurs in nature and is observable in natural phenomena (as lightning) and that can be produced by friction, chemical reaction, or mechanical effort 2. electric current.

Funny how we take such a thing for granted. Just you wait...

Today's haiku of the day is:

Small simple pleasure

Cast your joys upon my heart

Dance little ant, dance.

Fourtysixth

Oh no, I left my keys in my other pants and now I can't make it to this evening's ball, what am I ever to do?!

Other panted keys? Or maybe your wallet. Perhaps you've misplaced your last piece of gum and you don't have money on you because you left your wallet in your car, and your keys are in your other pants, which are also in the car and you gotta have your gum fix before someone gets whacked!

Don't worry, the solution is right around the corner. Introducing Mike T's Pocket O'Finder! Um, it gets things in pockets from miles away! What kind of price is on such a contraption? Well, without even describing it to you I will sell you it for only a limited time price of lots of dollars! Have more than one dollar? Then you can afford it and the pocket m'jiggy is yours today! Call now while our telephone operators are still awake!

"Hi, I'm neighborhood Bill and I gotta tell you, I love this product. It has saved me millions of dollars, IOU's and phone calls to the bank!"

Hate things being in your other pocket? Then these pant-savers are right for your, today! Have a blast showing them off at the office! Just send us your money and a package will be delivered! Just call 1-800-pocket saver, and you'll be on your way to success!

Today's WOTD has been brought to you by Pocket Deluxe "There's no better way to save!"

Luxuriate - (vb) 1. to grow profusely 2. revel

And now for the haiku of the day, brought to you by Mr. T's Pocket O'Mattic "Sure beats, or I mean... I pity the fool who don't have a Pocket Coupon!"

Rain drops on her face
Pine tree makes good umbrella
Little daisies grow.

Fourtyfifth

In the park. A short something by Dave Huston and the voice he hears at night.

Here we come across a man sitting on a bench, in a park full of trees, grass, flowers, birds, a play ground, kids and a pond off in the distance. As the man sits on the bench thinking of days gone by, a little girl comes up to him. She's holding a little bottle with liquid inside and a little stick protrudes from the jar's opening. (Just so we're clear).

The little girls looks up at the man, as the man looks back at the girl. Both expect the other to start the conversation first so there is a minute of silence before the girl finally gives in and asks the man "Would you like to blow some bubbles with me?"

After a few secons the man realizes the other kids not too far from him, where the girl came from, with similar jars, all blowing bubbles. "You know" says the girl "It works better when you take the stick from the jar." The man smiles and laughs "I know little one, I was just thinking about, or trying to remember, the last time I blew bubbles. It seems as though age has caught up to me for I can't recall it." the man answers, still smiling.

"Here" the girl says as she hands him the bottle, "Try and make a really big bubble. As big as the sky! Super, super huge!" The girl stretches her arms out as far as she can make them, spreading her fingers far apart to highlight her meaning. The man took the bottle, stired the stick around a little and then pulled it out. "It works best if you wet your lips first" the man says "My grandma taught me that." He added, smiling. He held up the stick and blew gently but firmly into the little loop. The bubble began growing to a fair size and then -pop! "Ah! No luck!" He said. "Let's try that again shall we?"

This time, when he blew, the bubble came out so big that both the man and the little girl stepped into it and then they did, they found Candyland! No, not the game but the actual place! "Oh wow!" cried the girl, "It's beautiful, it's the best place I've ever seen! Times a mellillion!" Her smile was so big that it cracked her face clean in half and we never saw her again, but that's just the way things go.

Fourtyfourth

Hold on, let's back up for a second.

It was May 3rd, 1995 and I hadn't yet finished grade 5, but it was close and summer even closer. Love, was in the air. I don't know who was breathing in that air, but it certainly wasn't me. There was a girl that made a pass at me and tried to woo me, but being the typical immature guy, I turned her down by pretending to puke. I can say that it wasn't one of my best moments with a degree of accuracy, but that wouldn't move this story along.

Okay so there I was waiting for the bus to pick me up and take me home, although now that I am looking back at this event, I don't know why I hadn't been riding my bike to and from school already. Anyway, there I was waiting for the bus when all of a sudden, I was back in the 1985's helping Michael J. Fox in the filming of Back to the Future. Having seen all three movies already, I thought to help him capture the right moments.

He wasn't too sure I should be changing the past, and as I thought about the advice of Christopher Lloyd, his words still crisp in my mind, as he was still speaking them, I gave second thought to my intentions. Should I really bring on the responsibility of Captain Past Changer when I haven't yet grown up to know what really needs changing? Alas, had I given it more thought I would have destroyed the time machine then and there so I could change my own life's past. I could have kidnapped myself and raised myself up to be ...some kind of legendary legend.

Sigh. Some lessons are just meant to be learned the hard way. Like how I shouldn't have ...done ...place.

Okay, today's WOTD is: Eidolon - (n) 1. Phantom 2. Ideal

Today's haiku is:

January snow

Its top layer is crusty

Powder lies beneath.

Fourtythird

I remember now what my topic for yesterday was going to be: insects.

I'm pretty sure that one of their main goals is to be as intrusive and attention seeking as possible. The way they sneak into every crevice, into your clothing, hair and mouth (if they can). Insects behave like how a cat does when it wants food. Or babies but without the crying. Some want more attention than others, so they populate in an intense fashion. Most want attention so bad it's all you can help but to kill them on sight.

Others, like the mosquito, want more than just attention or maybe they want it so badly it goes to a deeper level. They're like the stalker of the insects. It's not enough that they see you once in a while, they need to be around you as much as possible, but then it escalates and they start taking stuff from you. You try bug spray but that only lasts for so long or they find the one place, that one little inch on your body that doesn't have enough spray on it, and they suck your blood! And if that wasn't enough, they spit in you because they know they can't have all of you.

Oh man, now I have that feeling that there are bugs crawling on me, or around me, or they're thinking about it and you know they're thinking of it so now you're thinking about them thinking about it but they're not even in the room and you just want them to get away! Die bugs die!

Ahem. Today's WOTD is:

Her metic - also Hermetical (adj): airtight.

Today's haiku of the day is:

Little bits of ice
Conforming all together
Making flakes of snow.

Fourtysecond

Oh uh... hello. I kinda forgot what I was going to post just now. I was kinda thinking Olympics, but then that seemed too up with the times and connected to the world. Man, do you think Afghanistan is going to get the Olympics next? Like, is the whole program/organization going down hill? Not to say that China is as bad as any of the "...istan" countries, but there was lots of talk about how China didn't deserve it. So is the Olympics becoming like the town bicycle or what?

Okay, enough being with the times. Right now we're going to have the Word of the Day. Today's WOTD is:

Filibuster - (n) 1. A military adventurer; esp : an American engaged in fomenting 19th century Latin American uprisings. 2. the use of delaying tactics (as extremely long speeches) esp. in a legislative assembly: also: an instance of this practice.

I guess I'll post again if I think of my topic for today. Oh wait, first let me post the haiku for today.

Broken flower stem
Growth halted before blossom
Tear rolls down her cheek.

Fourtyfirst

Okay, so I missed yesterday, but I blame that on seeing the Riders' game. Man, I though for sure we'd be able to make a comeback, but then there were just too many bad plays. Sigh. And a half. I'm sure they lost because of my watching them. All this season I haven't watched a game because of lack of TSN, so then when I go and watch a game finally, they lose! I'm sorry to all of Saskatchewan and the Rough Riders. It was my fault and I promise not to watch another game again. Of course, I guess that's not really official until they win their next game, because then it was my fault. But if they lose next game, well I guess it wasn't really my fault but I'm probably partly to blame. So I'm sorry. You can hang me in town's square if you want. I've lived to see the Riders win the Grey Cup, so my life is full and blessed.

Onto today's topic: superstitions.

If you obey the laws of superstitions, do you live a better life than those of us who don't, or is it just being paranoid? What brings on superstitions? Is it in hope or for luck? As in, you are hoping that if you do something or don't do something, then good will come around and bad will keep off. Or is it that you're wanting luck, say for your favorite sports team. Hmmmm.

For the most part, I think superstitions are rediculous, a waste of time, and untrue. I've been around black cats, gone under ladders, stepped on cracks, and changed clothes. Yes I did just apologise for watching the game and therefore "making" the Riders lose their game, but that's about the Roughriders, so that's okay. But really, it's not that I think "okay I wore this shirt and the Riders won, it's more that I'd rather blame their loss on myself rather than the bad plays they made.

I've decided to make an adition to my blogs, and that is to bring up something that I keep trying to do: The Word Of The Day. I don't know about you guys, but it's something I enjoy and find easy to do. For those of you who don't know how this works, I grab the dictionary, flip open to some random page, and pick the first word I see. Generally. So without further adu, here is today's WOTD.

Pardoner - 1. A Mediceval preacher delegated to raise money for religious works by soliciting offerings and granting indulgences 2. One that pardons.

Also I could do a haiku of the day.

Empty forth the jar

Pour out the river's waters

Watch the flowers grow.

Fourtieth

Ever get the feeling that something good is about to happen, so all day you're waiting for that extra, out of the ordinary good piece of your day? Maybe it comes, but sometimes it doesn't. Or, inversely, you're expecting something bad to happen and either it does or it doesn't. I'm going to go with doesn't on these two and say, why not? Did you do something to ...counteract the good or the bad? Or maybe you were expecting it to happen on a greater scale than it did.

Say for instance you were expecting something good to happen. It could be that you're hoping for a raise, or maybe a phone call from someone you've been waiting to hear from, or find some money on the ground. But instead, you boss doesn't give you a headache, or maybe you don't burn your food.

What if you're expecting something bad to happen, but it doesn't? You think your brand new something-or-other is going to break or bust or die out, but it doesn't. Or maybe you're expecting to get a flat tire because um... nails and the tires are still fine by the end of the day, or even the week.

So then, what can be accounted for this feeling you got when you woke up. For expecting something to happen and it does, is either coincidence, intuition, or um... routine? But for something, perhaps especially if you're expecting something good to happen and it doesn't, does that mean your instinct broke? Is it bad luck? Bad karma? Bad ...laundry? OH! Those sock-thieving gnomes! I'll get you yet gnomes!

Thirtynineth

Girl in wheat field
Blowing small soapy bubbles
Sun makes them sparkle.

Walking through ally
Painted by many artists
Getting his rant on.

Sunflower rising
Sprouting high in the meadow
Seeds ever growing.

Early rooster crow
His call waking the neighbors
Silence must be found.

Summer time Slurpee
Cool, refreshing and quite sweet
Watch out for brain freeze.

Thirtyeighth

Pretending to listen. Whether you're mind is occupied with something else or you're listening to someone who you really don't want to listen to, I think we all have pretended to listen at one time or another. Maybe it's not the person but the subject, or maybe you're just too tired to put effort into paying attention at the moment. Maybe it's the same story you've heard over and over from Grandma or Grandpa or whoever it is that can't get past the one significant moment in their lives which to everyone else is insignificant.

"I remember the day they invented the toaster. Before then, we never had such a thing. You just got your bread, and you was lucky if there was any butter in the house, let alone jam! Back in my day we could only dream of jam. Here you are with your peanut butter and your fancy dancy sugar free crab apple jelly. Why do you even need it to be sugar free, you should be happy we can afford sugar now. Back in my day..." "...And everyone's allergic to peanut butter now-a-days! Back in my day there tweren't no allergies and if you had 'em you put up with them or your got a lickin'. People don't give out lickin's anymore, that's why you got those punk kids with their hippity hoppity nonsense and cell phones. Every kid has a cell phone and their pushin' those buttons 'til their fingers fall off. Back in my day..."

And you're just nodding your head or saying "Yeah" or "Mmm, hmm" but you're not really listening because you're thinking about that cute girl or guy you saw earlier and thinking that they probably don't have to put up with this. Or you wouldn't if you were with them.

But the thing about not listening when you're supposed to is that there's a trick to it. Oh, or if you're in class and the lecture is boring. Anyway, the trick is that you have to listen just enough so that your responces are right. You don't want to be saying "Yeah" to something that's wrong. You want to say "Yeah I know, it's a shame" or some such. And you also have to be listening just enough so that if they ask a question, whether it's your opinion or whatever, that you can answer that question. But answer it just enough that they figure you know what they're trying to say or get across, and just short enough an answer that you don't have to get too involved in the conversation, or at least no more than you already are. There's a ballance to it. It's a science.

Hope you enjoyed the video. If you liked the music, check 'em out. And I'm done.

Thirtyseventh

The human brain. I was wondering, if we only use up to 10% of our brain capacity... well shouldn't we have no problem remembering stuff? Or like, shouldn't we be able to be really smart and as we grow older maybe that percent increases? Is it that most of us only use 5% or something? That's why people are stupid and forgetful?

I'm just thinking that if we're only using so little of our brain capacity ...well I'd like an explanation as to why I am so forgetful sometimes. Or more acurately, why are some people smarter than others? Is it because they're using more of their 10%, or is it that their 10% is better than someone else's 10%, or is it because they're using more than 10%.

Let's say everyone on earth is using 10%. Are the smarter people using 10% all the time and the less smart people hardly use 10%? I don't know if everyone uses 10% all the time or what, but if they do, well then how do you explain learning? How do you explain someone having a photographic memory and someone else hardly remembering what they did yesterday? All drugs, alcohol, and inbreeding aside.

Let's say there are two brothers. Their genes are a clean slate, there's nothing wrong biologically, mentally or emotionally. They are the same age and they grow up in the same environment, learning from the same person, in the same setting, and they both learn by the same method. Will they both have the same level of intellect, both be able to retain the same amount of information? Obviously they are going to be unique individuals and will think about different things, but will they think about the same thing (math for example) in the same way? If they went about a math problem, would they solve it in the same way? Would both even be able to solve it?

How exactly does the human brain work, or at least how does that 10% work?

If you know about this than I do, I would like to hear your thoughts and opinions. Thanks.

Thirtysixth

Have you ever had one of those moments where you think "This isn't my life. I don't know why I'm going through with this / why this is happening"? Sometimes I think that sort of way when I'm away from home, but sometimes I think that when I am at home. I think it is mainly just a feeling of ...if you're in the right job, with the right people, or what have you.

I don't think I've been in too many situations that I've thought that, unless my friend's friend was doing something not so legal but that was probably only once and I don't remember what it was. Mainly, I just don't like being unsure about my life. I know there are people who leave things up in the air, but I'm pretty sure they have some kind of vision for what they want in life. What about not having a vision? Fight for one?

By the way, if you're interested in the Irish at all, you should either borrow it from the library or buy Whiskey in the Jar: Essential Irish Drinking Songs & Sing Alongs. It's a fun bit of Irish culture. If you don't like the Irish, well who am I kidding, who doesn't like the Irish?

You know what I don't like? Tricksy liars who offer goods and delicious, but then only vile and wrong comes forth. Such as the advertisements for food that looks and sounds like it would be very tasty but then you go to the restaurant and in fact it is neither. There have been a couple commercials that show food for what it is, the most played being McD****** and their Big M**. "Yeah, we're for the ordinary guy and our burger may not be neat and tidy but that's we substitute those things for good and tasty, come and like us". What are they reaching out for? It's McD******* for the love! Just trying to make another buck. Sure they're trying to be honest and make it look like they're "joe shmoe's" but that's just another tricksy lie! Run away and make your own danged burger! It's bound to be at least 5 times better.

But Dave, I can't cook worth a cent!
Yeah right, you can cook, you just have to look inside yourself and pull out your inner chef de cuisine.
I don't think that would be such a good idea, waking my inner chef would be like waking my inner pyro.
Well then either train a monkey to cook for you or get a friend to cook for you. Or you could kidnap a chef.
Yeah, okay. That sounds good, thanks Dave. You're a big help as usual!
That's what I'm here for tuts. And I'm out.

Thirtyfifth

I guess what I’m trying to say is that some people just need to chillax. Get yourself an ice tea or lemonade, read your favorite book or listen to your favorite band, and just take a moment for yourself. Otherwise people get too sick of all that bright morning sunshine and you end up wondering why.

And now for something completely different. I think the outdoors would be great if there weren’t any bugs. Or maybe if the bugs just kept to themselves instead of flying around me or crawling all over me. Either that or I would like to just be used to the bugs, that they wouldn’t bother me. Especially ticks, mosquitoes, horseflies, wasps, hornets and just generally anything that bites or stings.

I wonder if frisbee was someone’s weak version of discus. If you think about it, it is pretty much discus but you’re throwing to someone and you don’t get a metal for it. I think ultimate frisbee is a step up but still lacks the heavy disc element. Of course that was the whole idea behind it, but really… if I had the internet at the moment I’d look frisbee up on Wiki and then I’d have answers. But as it is I’m at a wedding rehearsal.

There are too many things wrong with the idea of Starbucks.

I like it when bands aren’t in show business just for the fans and fame. You’ve gotta do it for yourselves as well, and that’s how you should be writing the songs because those are the songs that mean something. Don’t get me wrong, catchy songs are what keep coming back, but that’s mainly because of the radio and we all know that the radio is to blame for keeping old trends alive. It’s not like those trends are really living, it’s more that the people who hold onto them just won’t give them up. Those were the glory days and we all know you just can’t say goodbye to the glory days. What else would you have to compare those “young punks” with? Fashion? That standard is just too fluid to measure anything by. It’s not even a standard and is probably just as bad, if not worse, than music.

Okay I’m done.