Onehundred Eighty

The Irish Council Bill

Is it this you call Home Rule?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

Do you take me for a fool?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

To be sending round the hat.

Five-and-twenty years for that

Isn't good enough for Pat,

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

And the Lord-Lieutenant too,

Says the Shan Van Vocht,

Is he still to be on view?

Says the Shan Van Vocht.

And all them big police,

Monumentally obese,

Must I go on feeding these?

Says the Shan Van Vocht?

Susan Mitchell (1907)

Onehundred Seventynine

I used to think that if I were the lead singer in a band, I'd want it to be a heavy metal band or maybe a punk band, but either way, the whole time I was on tour, in a way of illustrating what my songs might be about, I'd spend the concert in a box. Just some cardboard box just big enough for me to sit cross-legged under. Yeah, I wouldn't be just in the box, I'd be inside it, so you can't see me. And I'd be sitting there screaming the lyrics.

Now I wonder if it was some kind of subconscious thing and what kind of message that means for myself (as a guy not the lead singer for a band). Like how you might interpret a dream. At the time I thought it would be a fun little gig. And I'd make sure there were holes in the box, cause I know you'd get pretty hot in there... but it would be a sacrifice I'd make because of the point I'd be trying to get across. I'm not too sure what that point would be, but that's because I'm not-in-a-band Dave. In-a-band Dave would have it all planned out and understood.

Also I think it would make for a cool opening to a show. This box just gets set on the stage before the rest of the band comes out, and you're all like "What's with the box?". It would be really sweet if I could be there in the box before anything, like even when the opening bands are playing, that would be wicked sweet! Just like... have a oxygen canister I could use and um, make sure I had water and didn't have to use the washroom. But like, there's just this box on stage and nobody in the other bands are using it, the stage crew isn't moving it... but you know that my band is going to use it for some reason because of the lyrics to my songs... but how am I going to use the box? Is there anything inside? Man, what do you do? Probably throw something at it. Hope it's not a brick.

And then my band comes on, they start playing the first song and everyone in the crowd is waiting until I come out and then I start singing and you're in the crowd looking around for where I might be, oh because the box isn't where I'd stand as lead singer, it's more off to the side. I don't know how that might go over, but that would be sweet for that first couple of shows. Man, in-a-band Dave is crazy. He's going to be sore afterwords because the box is still there when everyone leaves and the lights get taken down, so then your band's personal crew guy comes in with the dolly and takes the box out to the tour bus and that's when I get out. Tee hee.

WOTD:

Cynosure - (n) a center of attraction

Haiku:

Breath into the clay

Watch it grow into a jar

Fill it with your love.

Onehundred Seventyeight

And now to answer some of my dear viewer's letters.

Timmy from Sandfried, Ohio writes: "Dave, I can't imagine how you come up with these wacky and outrageous blogs, and I love your poetry! Could you tell the step-by-step process you go through to deliver such creative writing gold?"

No.

Dan from Gainsburry, Ontario writes: "Dave, I've been having some troubles with my girlfriend. She wants me to write her some poetry, but I'm terrible with words. I was wondering if I could borrow something from you, since you're so good at it but not too good so that she would catch on. Helplessly in love, Dan."

Will you pay me?

Angelica from Little Lake, Saskatchewan writes: "Hi Dave. I'm a long time reader first time writer and I've just got to say that blog 64 made me realize the value in the little things in life. I know that one is a while ago but it's one of my many favorites. Thanks for sharing."

Thanks for writing, sugarbob.

Geoff from Winterville, Manitoba writes: "It's good to hear a creative voice in the prairies on this blog. I thought I was the only one, and not too many people read my blog either. Maybe we should band together and start a 'Bloggin' in the Prairies' club. What do you say?"

I uh... I kinda feel that's a bit too cheesy for myself, but I suppose if you were to provide sandwiches, I'd support anything.

The last letter for today is from Leila in Canburg, Alberta: "Hey Dave, have you ever thought of writing children's books? I think you'd do a great job and the kids would love your poetry and art work. Or maybe you could give me a few pointers on how to do my own book? Thanks."

I have thought of such a book but whenever that comes to mind I remind myself at how much goes unnoticed by kids (in poetry) and I think I'd rather write a book meant for a creative writing class.

Well that's all we have for today folks. Until next time, give your fingers and brain a workout and write up a short little story or poem. Get those brain juices flowing.

Haiku:

Lost in wheat field

Its smell consuming my mind

Appreciate bread.

Onehundred Seventyseven

Ouch.

That was the first thought (basically) when I came back into consciousness. I was on my side and I couldn't remember how I got there or why I was in pain. Felt like a couch. I was on my side on a couch. I wanted to open my eyes but thought that I wouldn't like what I would see. Somehow I felt it wouldn't be that great a scene, as if I was in an action movie and I would open my eyes only to see my fiancee gaged and bound to a chair. But then... wouldn't I hear that? Unless he was unconscious as well, I suppose. Kinda like MI: III but roles reversed.

Curiosity took over (especially since there's no fiancee in my life) and the first thing I saw was lipstick smeared onto a plain white coffee mug. Huh. It was resting on a coaster, one of those cork coasters from the '80's. There was a glass-topped coffee table underneath that, not the length of the couch. But my head wasn't some how in the middle of the couch was it? Who would design the room that way? You don't put a short coffee table in the front of one end of a couch, you'd put it in the middle.

Okay so the rest of the room- ah! It hurt to move my head. Like someone had hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Although I suppose it could have been a hockey stick or golf club or the leg of a desk... I don't know why the image of a baseball bat came to mind first. I suppose that's the first thing you think about when someone bashes you over the head, that they used a baseball bat.

I wasn't bound or gaged, so why did it hurt to move my head? Why couldn't I remember anything? I should make a phone call... only this wasn't my apartment, so where was I? There was that question to answer first. I was wearing my blue Superman t-shirt as well as my favorite pair of jeans, so it must have been Thursday because that's what I wear when I know I'll see that cute guy down at the food court. I know he likes comic books and also I saw him with that black Superman t-shirt that one time, no it was twice!

Oh right, where am I? The ...house? looked neatly kept, smelled neatly kept, and owned by someone who either found television useless or didn't keep one in the living room. Oh, there must be a girl living here right, cause of the lipstick. Right! Uh... had I been drinking with some of the girls? No because it didn't really feel like a hangover.. it felt more like being bashed over the head with a baseball bat (okay so the difference wasn't much but I also didn't taste alcohol in my mouth). And I didn't taste blood either. I felt the back of my head and there wasn't a bump.

Right then there was a voice, a soft male voice, as though he was trying to be soothing. He said "It's good to see you're finally awake". I looked around to see where the voice might be coming from, but saw no one. Oh! There was a video camera in the ceiling corner on my right. And there's the door. "Yes, you can go if you'd like but I would advice on hearing what I've got to say first." This time he sounded a little more instructive.

"Where am I? Have you kidnapped me?" I asked, my voice a little groggy. "It's not like my family has a lot of money or anythin-"

"Oh no, it's nothing like that". His voice a little softer, "Don't you remember?" he asked. "No, I don't... remember what? Is this some kind of prank, because if it is... you better show your face, you're starting to freak me out a bit here..." My hands started to sweat, I looked to the door... would they be waiting for me on the other side or could I just leave? He said to listen to him, not that he was talking right now... "You had something to tell me before I left?" I asked, trying to sound like I wasn't too worried or anxious. I didn't want to set anyone off, if that was a possibility.

Onehundred Seventysix

Ever wanted to try something different? Do something you've never done before? I'm sure there might be a list forming, or perhaps there has been one forming for years and you're slowly picking away at that list. Or what about acting in a different manor or having different behavior or talking a different way? It could even be as simple as wearing different clothes or combing your hair different. Or maybe you want to listen to different kinds of music.

Whatever there may be in your life, is there something holding you back? Are you waiting for the right time in your life? Do you think such a prospect needs to wait until you're in your 40's? Perhaps you're afraid of what others may say or think. Or maybe there's been someone in your life that changed this, that, or the other about their life and the people around them reacted poorly and so that's dissuaded you from causing changes in your own life. It could be that the thing holding you back is that you can't think of anything original enough. You want to do something that no one has thought of before, but history is so varied that it's hard to come up with something. Or maybe you've come up with something but it's so extreme to you that you don't think you could pull it off. Or maybe you think you wouldn't do the idea justice that you just don't act upon it. You would like nothing more to see this act come to fruition... but just not through yourself.

Maybe it's time for you to step out of your comfort zone, to get away from your fears of what people may think, or to just pick an idea and try it on for size. Does it really have to be completely original? History does repeat itself, so it's not like anyone wouldn't blame you, and besides, if the idea is "fresh" enough, it doesn't really matter if someone in the past did it before, in fact it would be a tribute and people would love you for it. Probably.

It could be that you're thinking that everyone seems to go through so many changes these days that you don't want to be another "change around Sam". You're perfectly okay with how you are and besides change only leads to catastrophe.

For myself, I think I'm one of those who says they like themselves just the way they are. Not that I'm opposed to change and in fact I've made changes in my life... they might not be profound but they're enough to keep me going. Or maybe I've tried changing and it's only turned out for the not so awesome and so I've left change well enough alone. What I do know is that I admire what Andy Kaufman tried to do, and did do, for comedy and general show business.

Okay, WOTD:

Cetacean - (n) any of an order of aquatic mostly marine mammals that includes whales, porpoises, dolphins, and related forms

Haiku:

Rose petals falling

Blown to and fro on the wind

Reach out to catch it.