He opened the door... a little too blatantly than intended, but alas it was too late. Besides, it was spring time, shouldn't one be allowed to be a little bit blatant? And it's not like there was anyone up this early in the morning either, let alone that anyone would even watch how he would open the door. It's not like there were any sort of judges about, seeing how each individual opened the door, let alone first thing in the morning.
Feeling confident about it all he quickly grabbed the paper from the front step (that little bugger of a paper carrier couldn't be bothered to get the paper in the bloody mailbox, again this week!), closed the door quietly and with a touch of precaution to any sort of asymmetrical behavior, just in case.
He had just set the paper on the living room table and was about to check in on the coffee when there was a knock at the door. He looked at his watch, which had been broken since he'd received it from his grandfather, so then he looked to the clock on the wall and saw it had run out of battery power at 2:17am. There was a second knock at the door and since he couldn't find out what the time was he decided that it was still going to be too early for visitors... but perhaps they had seen him grab the paper, but if it was Charleston asking to borrow whatever it was in his shed that he hadn't already borrowed and not returned... which might just be the very thing Charleston was after, probably the weed wacker, even though it was the middle of winter but since when did that ever bother Charleston? I suppo- With the third time knocking the knock was also followed by a man's voice calling: "Look, I saw what you did and if you wanted it to become public knowledge that you-"
The door quickly opened and he said "Okay, okay. Just shush about that and tell me what this is all about." The man had a neatly trimmed mustache, much like the one his father used to have until he moved out to the mountains a grew a beard, as if that was the thing to do. Just because one is out in the mountains doesn't mean one automatically has to adorn a beard, but try telling that to his father. That's when he realized the man had been speaking to him and should now be paying attention.
"... -und it to be a little.. well what's the word? Ah! Yes, I thought it was just a little bit blatant and you should know that we in the community will not stand for such behavior, even just a little bit. We have a zero tolerance about that sort of thing. What would people think if we let members of our community open their doors in any manor that they wished? If we allowed that, well who knows what else it would lead up to?! First doors, then maybe the windows! Oh! Could you imagine such a community with windows open in any sort of embryonic fashion? What an embarrassment! Surely this isn't the sort of behavior you want to support? My world, man! Think of the children!
"And don't you think, even for a moment, that this sort of lifestyle would keep within the community (perish the thought of it even getting that far) but that this sort of behavior would spread! From this community to the next, from this side of the city to the next! Oh my! What horror to think of it even having the chance of becoming a city wide epidemic! People of all sorts opening their doors, and not just a little but perhaps with much blatant emphasis! Oh, perish the thought! But these sorts of things can happen you know. And do you know why? It all starts so innocently that one would concid-"
"Um, excuse me. I don't think I quite caught your name the first time. Where did you say you were from? Whom do you represent?" he asked, rather politely.
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